Can I do it?

Hi Lizzie

sorry to read your struggling but the fact you have made a plan to stop once your baccy runs out and its your birthday coming up is good

having some goals is always a bonus

forget about past quits and just concentrate on this one

taking one day at a time is best and try thinking positive thoughts look up some phrases and read them every day will help as well

onwards and upwards is the way to go

regards

Carol

Hi everyone

Since failing my last quit at Christmas, I think I've been smoking more than ever and I feel terrible. I've GOT to stop. GOT to. I walked up a hill yesterday and it hurt and I'm 47!! What am I going to feel like in another 5 years?

I smoke for all the usual reasons. The main one I think is boredom, which is a depressing statement about my life!!

Anyway I have tobacco to last 'til the end of June. My birthday is 5th of July. I am going to try after that.

I do not want to take Champix again as it made me feel odd (odder than usual), but is that a price worth paying?

or should I just try NRT, which I've never done.

I need help!

Thanks for listening. I look at this forum all the time, it's inspiring.

Love

LizzieX

You sound just like me Lizzie, I'm back on my quit on June 5th I think the fear of quitting is worse than doing it so hopefully we will both do this.

Good luck

Denise.

Hi Lizzie

Good to hear you are back to thinking about quitting.

I really hate to put up negative posts and rarely do but in this case I do have some concerns for you over your planned quit.

Why wait so long? OK some planning can't be a bad thing but it strikes me that 5/6 weeks is a long time. First its so you can use your stock of baccy up, then its your birthday. Will it then be your holiday, to hot and want to sit in the garden with a fag and a drink, smoking friends coming round etc etc.

Before I quit I could always think of a valid reason (or so I told myself) to wait until tomorrow. Unfortunately as we all know tomorrow never comes.

It just strikes me you are putting this off and using any reason to justify it. This tells me that at this point you do not have the correct mental attitude towards quitting.

I think it would be a good idea to start by getting a copy of Allen Carrs book and reading it several times. There are other books also as mentioned on this forum that you could also get and read and read again. And keep reading this forum. There are some brillient posters on here as you probably alread know.

This is a personal view and I do hope I am wrong.

I hope you do not take offence as this is not my intention. All I want is for you to be succesful before you health suffers anymore.

Wishing you all the best of luck in your planned quit

H

Thank you so much for your replies.

I know what you're saying Aitch...I am putting it off.

Do I want to stop smoking? yes and no. Do I HAVE to stop smoking? Unequivocally YES!

I've had a 3 year quit, a 3 month quit and a 1 week quit so far in my smoking life and they've failed for various reasons. I'm building up to it again. I don't want to be a smoker for ever. My body needs a break!!

Maybe when you wake up one day between now and then and have that not bothered about cigs feeling you could see how long you can go

Karri...I'd SO love that to happen!!

Good luck to all of you

LizzieX

Lizzie.....you don't HAVE to stop smoking. You really dont. You can smoke away till you feel worse and worse and worse. Till you die if you want to. I dont mean to sound cruel or uncaring. The point i'm trying to make is this. If you tell yourself you HAVE to......then before you've even begun there is an implication that you feel forced. That you're going to try against all horrid odds to do something that you dont really want to.

You make it a battle.

You dont HAVE to Lizzie.

Nobody is standing with a gun at your head ordering you to come to this forum and try to stop smoking. You are here because you want to be. Because you WANT a life where you are less scared. Because you want your health to improve rather than deteriorate......because Lizzie......basically...if you are honest with yourself.....you WANT to stop smoking. You WANT to. I'm with Aitch. Stop putting it off. I remember you Lizzie. When I first found this forum I remember you. You were one of the ones I was so admirous of. You had done what I was afraid to do. And oh how I put it off. Put it off from september 2011 until may 2012............thats how long it took me to realise that I didnt ever have to stop smoking......but I wanted to. I, like you, wanted all the lovely life giving benefits of a non smoking life........and thats why I was on this forum stalking people like you And thats why you are back on this forum now. Give it a go again Lizzie. You know you want to. x

everyone

Since failing my last quit at Christmas, I think I've been smoking more than ever and I feel terrible. I've GOT to stop. GOT to. I walked up a hill yesterday and it hurt and I'm 47!! What am I going to feel like in another 5 years?

I smoke for all the usual reasons. The main one I think is boredom, which is a depressing statement about my life!!

Anyway I have tobacco to last 'til the end of June. My birthday is 5th of July. I am going to try after that.

I do not want to take Champix again as it made me feel odd (odder than usual), but is that a price worth paying?

or should I just try NRT, which I've never done.

I need help!

Thanks for listening. I look at this forum all the time, it's inspiring.

Love

LizzieX

Hi Lizzie I bet everyone on this site can relate to your comments about when you are going to stop, and we can all try and help you through your quit period but we cannot really help you to make the decission to stop or when to stop.I beleive that all smokers enjoy smoking,because the adiction makes us feel like this.But the fact that you know and talk on this site tells me that you really want to be a non smoker and when you make the decision to stop, like I did almost 3 years ago, we will be here to help and support you. You will know that at the start it is not easy but please believe the people on this site who have stopped that it gets easier as you go on. My son will finish his University course this month and I was able to pay his accomodation cost for three of the four years since I stopped. How good do you think that that has made me feel. and my health has never been better and I am 10 years older than you. But remember we are all here for you when you decide to stop.

Dannyboy

I'm 48 and it seems there are a lot of people this age making serious attempts at stopping, for whatever reason. I've made a few pathetic efforts in the past but have always considered myself a die-hard smoker. I decided to try and stop (as I do every year) on March 1st as it's my favourite day of the year. But this year, unlike all the others, I actually did it!!

It happened like this....I was at the docs about something else at the end of Feb and he mentioned my smoking. So I said, 'Can I get patches on the NHS then?' and he wrote me a prescription without talking about it, casually mentioning that some people still smoke when they're wearing them, and not really seeming to give a toss whether I succeeded or not. Then on February 26th my baccy was about to run out, and I thought 'Sod it, I'm not going to buy any more' so I rolled up the rest into fags (4), slapped a patch on and went to bed. I went all day without one then smoked 3 that evening. Then the last one the next morning. And that was it. I was religious about the patches and think they really really helped, as did this forum.

I have put up with all the crappy side effects -blocked nose, bleeding gums, constipation, breathlessness, sadness - and am still putting up with them.

I wish you the BEST of luck for your quit, the patches definitely worked for me so if you decide to go with them make sure you get them in before your baccy runs out, and put the first one on at night so you don't wake up wanting a fag (they give you crazy dreams!).

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!! X

.

She could rush into this and end up smoking before day 1 is up. The simple reason being she didn't quit because she wanted to but because people made her feel she should do it now. Alternatively she could quit for a month and have a slip or full blown relapse on her birthday celebrations.

It's very easy to see how good quitting is when you are on one yourself but the journey leading to that has to be your own.

Sometimes when you have a plan that you are happy with but change it then it all falls apart. I think on some decisions it pays to stick with the plan and not alter it.

It's taken Lizzie a while to feel happy enough to set a quit date. I say let's wait for it to roll round and just give her as much support as she has others

Karri

I totally understand what you are saying. We should never quit if we are not in the right frame off mind or quit because someone else wants us to. I just does not work.

Indeed Lizzie has to make her own mind up when she quits.

Reading her OP I read into it some negatives which concerned me for her sake.

Lizzie has since confirmed that yes she is putting it off.

Her statements: Anyway I have tobacco to last 'til the end of June. My birthday is 5th of July. I am going to try after that. She did not say I am going to stop after that.

Do I want to stop smoking? yes and no. Do I HAVE to stop smoking? Unequivocally YES! To me this says yes I have to but no I don't want to.

I smoke for all the usual reasons. The main one I think is boredom. Boredom is quite a common comment and responsible for quite a few failures. Lizzie has plenty of time to address that problem but needs to manage it sooner rather than later.

To me quitting is a mind game. Get the mind right and your on a winner. Very much the principal of CT (which I must admit I did not use)

To this end I suggested reading as many quit smoking books as much as possible. I had a period of reactive stress/depression and I found a book called "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. Readily available. I found this an excellent book and well worth reading. It is not specifically aimed at smoking or depression/stress. It is all about teaching you how to achieve what you want.

Lizzie stated I need help. I am only trying to give it and when Lizzie does finally take the plunge I will be here with as much support as I can offer.

H

I like all your replies, thank you.

Karri has hit the nail on the head, but that's because it's what suits me most to hear!!

I've just joined a gym, met a new guy who doesn't smoke and trying to learn to meditate. These may address the boredom issues...

I used to have a copy of "Feel the Fear", I'll try and find it.

Poppy, thanks for the tip about the patches, I've never tried that.

I want to be ready now, but I KNOW I'm not. Maybe this isn't the right place to express this as you've all taken the plunge (and you don't know how much I admire you for it)

I hope I get there. I know what its like to be an ex smoker. It feels great, but I also know the difficulties of getting there. I suppose I am remembering that, rather than all the amazing positives.

Thank you again. Good luck to all of you.

LizzieX

Hi Lizzie

Sorry to hear of your stuggles - everyone here knows how hard it is and the painful experiences in the early days. But there are some real good pointers in the replies you've had. Think about reading Allen Carr (whilst still smoking!). If you are now planning ahead for your quit, consider getting a copy soon, and making a pact to read it each week, to get yourself psyched up. Also, you could research the NRT options, speak to your practice nurse or local NHS stop smoking advisor, to see what might be the best options for you to think about based on your smoking patterns.

I'm 47 and have smoked since I was 16. I considered myself a confirmed smoker, after numerous failed attempts to stop. However, I've now just passed the 8 week point. The best piece of personal experience that I can share is that it's a mind over matter trick. As others have said, get the brain in the right place, and keep it there, and you'll achieve success. This is where Allen Carr (and others, eg, Paul McKenna, Jason Vale) psychology approaches might help you. We all get there differently - life generally is a bit of an experiment in terms of getting things right!

You said, quote:

"Do I want to stop smoking? yes and no. Do I HAVE to stop smoking? Unequivocally YES!".

How about a positive spin on your own Q&A? Focus on the 'Yes' response to the 'Do I want stop?' question. Then, instead of "I HAVE to stop smoking", how about "I wish to be in a position where I don't HAVE to smoke anymore".

Can you do it? Of course you can!

Best of luck - let us know how you get on - we're waiting!

Sx

Oh thanks Karri thats nice of you

Never saw it as critisism for one moment. It never even entered my head.

None of us are experts we are just trying to draw on our experiences and if we can give a little help. A lot of this is about opinions and two different posts can say two totally different thing and both be the right way but just different routes to the same place.

As long as we all get to that place thats all that matters.

And Lizzie this forum is for people who have quit AND anyone planning on quitting whenever that may be. You sounded a lot more positive so dont be a stranger.

H

feel the fear and do it anyway.....

Hi Lizzie

I can so relate to the fear that you are feeling about the prospect of quitting - if you read my opening posts on this forum, I think you would understand the overwhelming panic of knowing that I had to do it, but not believing that I could.

Well, thanks to this forum and a good shake up at home, here I am several months down the line feeling better and better.

Do what is right for you, but don't let those anxieties cripple you - the reality has not been anything like as bad as the anticipation for me. I hope that the same will apply to you.

Billyxxx

Great to see you back, Lizzie.

You describe very well how I felt for years and years - and I did nothing other than fret and stress inwardly about it all. When I finally thought enough is enough, I planned it well ahead - as you are suggesting. I was terrified, but I knew I HAD to do it. Like you, I honestly didn't 'want' to, though.

I spent the weeks leading up to my quit date preparing myself in every conceivable way for a non smoking future. I joined this forum, read nearly every single thread on the 'tips' page, made lists of things I could do when a craving struck, printed out motivational slogans to stick around the house, made several changes to my home with a view to altering my routine as much as possible, and - well, really I thought about almost nothing else for several weeks!

In the early stages, I had times when I was almost quite excited about the prospect, although I knew this was because I was still able to smoke. As the days and weeks passed, I obviously became more nervous, but my plans became more detailed in response to my anxiety, and whenever I smoked a cigarette I'd think "what will I do instead of lighting up when I have quit". I thought about different hobbies I could try (bought wool and knitting needles, explored craft ideas, stocked up on books, etc). I think I 'rehearsed' not smoking hundreds of cigarettes! I discovered that if I could just get out of the house and stride up the road, or lay my yoga mat out, or brush my teeth, or, or, or ... I could delay my next cigarette.

At this stage, of course, I wasn't delaying the next cigarette forever, so I felt I was having a 'trial run'. But I do think it helped me to get my head in a place where I understood that my quit HAD to be permanent, and I HAD to succeed. I was investing so much time and mental energy in preparing as thorougly as possible that my determination to make this work became much stronger.

As the day approached, I really got specific, and planned meals for the first week, made sure the freezer was full, collected all my 'goodies' and notes and plans together.

I had mixed feelings about NRT, having read a lot on here about the pros and cons. In the end, I saw the smoking cessation counsellor the day before my quit date and came home with patches and minis. I didn't bother with the patches (though was grateful they were there, as I thought of them at the time as a sort of security blanket), but did use the minis.

Bizarrely, I'm quite a laid back person who'd pretty relaxed about most things in life, but I became quite OCDish about my quit! I guess I wanted to feel that I was IN CONTROL, and I could then use that feeling to conquer my addiction. I know it's not an approach which would work for everyone, but it worked for me.

If you have even an inkling of interest in meditation, I'd strongly recommend it - it helped me massively (and still does). And I definitely couldn't have managed without frozen grapes!

You can do it Lizzie. Gear yourself up for it, if you think that approach might help you. And then just decide you are moving forwards from your quit date onwards, to a different life. One which you really WANT.

Keep posting,

Sue

x

Sue this is a great post!

This is a very inspiring and thoughtful post post Sue. I always admire people like you who can take the time to write lengthy thoughtful helpful posts like this for the benefit of others. This forum is awesome. I hope Sue's post has helped you Lizzie and taken away some of the fear. Good luck with your quit. It will certainly help you having a boyfriend who does not smoke too!

You're right Haze56, Sue's post really means something to me.

Yes I am fearful, the thought of not smoking seems so alien when you're still smoking. Still I'm trying to remember that very apt quote " keep doing the same, get the same result" (or something like that!)

And the same result for me is a terrible cough and aching lungs.

Last time I too bought knitting needles, jigsaws, practising in my head for when a craving strikes, But I can over-think things and sometimes you've just got to dive in.

I hope to see you all soon, "properly".

I appreciate all your thoughts

Thank you

LizzieX

Hi Lizzie 'the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it',...... a quote from feel the fear... u say u have to... your body tells you it wants u too in fact its screaming at you... I recognize myself in your post. I HAD to quit ,i told myself i didnt want to and i beleived it and for years put off quitting. I got some patches. gave it a go and as soon as i began the process of quitting eureka, i then wanted too stop. how mad does that sound'' i didnt want to quit until i quit''. well its not mad . what happenede was as soon as i made the moves to quit the veil of denial fell away which revealed the truth that yes i wanted release from smoking. i wanted something better but i'd always been afraid to. i came to realize that i had wanted to stop for years but the addict in me doesnt want that. im happy to say that iv been quit for 8mths now and the addict in me has no parts to play any longer. It waves at me occasionally but as i say in another thread its not waving but drowning and cos im a heartless so and so i'll just wave back.

I know u can do it and so do you . you just dont know or beleive it . Not Yet.

I love that quote about .if u keep doing the same things we'll keep getting the same results. I hope u get to the place of wanting something better.

We nearly have the same birthday ,mine the 4 july and im looking forward to spending it as a non smoker.maybe u will too. what a gift to ourselves eh.

All the best Lizzie.

Mash x:cool:

Lizzie

Quote:

Still I'm trying to remember that very apt quote " keep doing the same, get the same result" (or something like that!)

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got".

I think that's the quote you're referring to - classic change management speak. But quitting the cigs is a BIG BIG life change, so it's very appropriate.

Hold that thought - we all sooo look forward to seeing you on here as a non smoker.