First Post - My Odd(?) Situation

Morning all;

Just wondering if the way I feel about smoking is common, or if I am just a freak ;)

You see, I know intellectually that smoking is a Bad Thing - it costs money I can ill afford to burn and it is ruining my health - but... I don't want to give it up as I enjoy it and in a weird kind of way I think of it as part of who I am.

I suppose that I am in the situation where I want to want to give up. My friends think I do want to quit or I wouldn't even bring the topic up - and I suppose joining and posting here backs that up - but I am certain I wouldn't be able to give up if it is only my sub-conscious that wants to!

Does anyone recognise this? Is there a way of progressing from where I am to where I think I want to be? One of my friends wondered at hypnosis, but I am unconvinced that works except on those who think it does...

So - suggestions and comments please :)

5 Replies

  • Richard, not odd at all. I felt precisely the same as you. Apologies, but I'm going to quote myself here, from a post I made recently.

    "When I joined this site I had no confidence that I would stick with a quit.I felt like smoking was an ingrained part of my identity, something I *enjoyed*, ffs, and the only thing that motivated me was fear for my health. I didn't want to quit, I felt I had to try. And for a LONG time I thought that it was a temporary thing. That it wasn't a question of if I would cave, but when."

    But I'm here to tell you, that at nearly a year and a half quit, I can look back and understand that my attitude to smoking then was just an addicts excuse. Smoking does not, and never did, define me. I am still exactly the same person I used to be - the only difference is I'm not poisoning myself.

    It's easy to confuse smoking as part of your identity just because you have always done it - when you're happy, sad, stressed, tired, bored, angry, relaxing, you smoke. But the cigarettes did not make the situation, nor did they have any impact on your emotional response to it. It was just something you did *at the same time* as experiencing these things. As you go through each new situation and emotion as a non smoker your brain will set up a prompt and say 'smoke now', because that's how you've conditioned it. But get past it a couple of times and break the associations, and the urge to smoke just goes away.

    As for liking it... well, I'm not going to deny that every now and then I'll see someone with a beer and a fag and think 'aah...'. But then I smell them. Jeez. And I remember how I used to cough ALL the time. How much money it cost. About what horrendous damage they do. And frankly, the attraction passes pretty quick!

    I'd say if you're here, then you're obviously thinking about quitting. Give it a shot. You might surprise yourself.


  • I'm not really a fan of hypnosis and it's seems that you aren't either. However if changing one's perspective is the direction you'd like to pursue then I'd recommend reading Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit. There's a link in my signature which will take you to a site where you can download a free pdf. Sorry that it's convoluted but there we have it.

    Best wishes what ever your choice :)

    PS: The 'good' folk at Easyway have removed access from the site I've linked to. If interested you could google 'Allen Carr Easyway pdf' and some good samaritan somewhere may have managed to link the pdf. Or, buy or borrow the book. Meanwhile I'll edit my signature again, John ;)

  • great post, Karri! :)

  • Hi Richard

    For years and years I said "I don't want to quit. I just want NOT to want a cigarette". Over time, that changed to "I want to be a non smoker. But I still don't want to quit". (Only smokers would understand the difference!)

    I engaged in this tug of war with myself for a very, very, very long time. Eventually, when one of the two of my remaining smoker friends decided to quit, the "I want to be a non smoker" voice within me suddenly became louder than my fearful "I don't want to quit" voice.

    I joined this forum. Nearly 7 months later, I'm still smoke free. Give it a go. These great folk on here are the best quitting aids going ...

    Good luck - it's a journey with the best possible destination.


  • Thanks for the replies people - food for thought... so much so that I today contacted the local StopSmoking group and a nice lady on the phone told me my situation was not uncommon and invited me in to talk to them with a view to attending meetings and things. I am not a great joiner of things, but it seems that statistically this approach is much more successful than trying to do it on your own ;)

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