Time to get serious

I have been lurking since my 6 month quit failed over Christmas. You don't know me, but I feel like I know some of you.

I was so stupid. Stopped for health reasons and thought that if I could stay off the fags for half a year, I could cope with a bit of festive smoking.

I was wrong. It was frightening how quickly I fell back in, and now I am back up to two packs a day.

Since the middle of January, I have tried several times to regain my quit, but I fall at the first hurdle every time. I could just hit myself, and don't know what to do. I have read on here about Champix, but my doctor doesn't want me to take that. I always used NRT to get through those moments where I couldn't light up, so find that they don't help me now.

Have read allen carr so many times because lots of people swear by him. In some ways he makes sense, but when I try to go without, I just turn into a mess until I light back up again.

Any suggestions for a hopeless case?

Thank you.

12 Replies

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  • Hi BillyO

    Your not a hopeless case! well done to you for having another go. Just relax about giving up, dont put to much pressure on yourself as its a cicle.

    Just take it one moment at a time. :D

  • Thanks for replying Surferchick.

    Because I am such a heavy smoker, my mind tells me that I can't quit unless I can cut down first. This is how I did it last time.

    This time, though, I seem to end up in a constant battle with myself, and my devil side always wins through.

    Today, I have already had about 25 fags, and that's when I'm trying!

  • Hiya,

    I cut down first of all. I think for me its was a mental preperation so I didnt feel so shocked when it came to quitting. I fazed it out.

    I have heard about this Allen Carr book, went to get it out from the library but its had been out since 2010. Im guessing it wasnt due back any time soon, so I got this other book called how to stop smoking and stayed stopped for good. Its a good read probably similar to Allen Carr.

    It talks about if you make it seem like you are depriving yourself its make you want it more "forbidden fruit" and just take a much more relaxed approach about it.

    You have probably smoked in a panic at the thought of quitting. Smoking is such a vicious circle. The more anxious the more you smoke, the more you smoke the more you get anxious.

    dont worry you can do it!! :D

  • You've got it.

    I am in a constant state of panic over smoking now. I panic when I smoke, and I panic when I don't.

    I have read extensively on here, and it seems that the most successfull people are the ones who have got their head straight. Maybe i should focus on that first.

    Thanks for taking the time. It really helps.

  • You've got to start thinking of smoking as what it is, an addiction to nicotine. Once an addict, if you light up again in the future, you will just become hooked again. Just like an alcoholic. And you did, but it doesn't mean you can't do it again.

    I would definitley read some books if I was you. Education is key for most of us that have stopped. Don't feel like you are being deprived of your enjoyment. Its not very enjoyable breathing in toxic cancerous fumes into our delicate lungs. Don't see it as a reward, what's a reward when its killing you? Not much of a reward when you think of it like that!!

    Also there's a member on here, I think its mash? He posted the other day and it made me think. He said how pointless of an addiction smoking is. And ya know what, he is right! Other addictions give you some sort of pleasurable feeling or a high. What does nicotine give us ? Uhhh... Nothing!!! No benefits, no pleasure, why do we do it?! Cos of the addiction!! Get rid of the addiction and the thoughts of it being enjoyable and rewarding and you're onto a winner.

    I think it would help you to admit to yourself how you felt when you had quit last time. Did it make you happy? Were you pleased to be free of it? Did you feel healthier? Did you have more energy? And how do you feel now you're back to smoking 40 a day. Do you feel happy? Are you pleased you're hooked again? Do you feel healthy?

    Oh my god I sound like a psychologist lol!!

  • hi BillyO your not alone i have also been down that bendy lane. But i have to agree with Rochelle the one word you have to understand is ADDICTION i listened to Allen Carr for about the 9th time last night and it hit home getting to understand addiction. You can do this just take your time relax in a hobby go for a walk. But you will know when your ready. Take care. Jacqui.

  • Yeah fleetwood you've got to look at it like other addictions, because it is. Alcoholics are dependant on it, once they get themselves sober they're great again but one dark moment and they reach for the drink, then its back into the darkness of addiction. Its the same for us. Its a real shame people go for such a long time then reach for a cig. Its not gonna make us feel any better in fact it would make us feel worse as we've just squandered all those months/years and ballsed it up :( I'm gonna think of this if I ever want to each for a fag again

    X

  • Because I am such a heavy smoker, my mind tells me that I can't quit unless I can cut down first. This is how I did it last time.

    This time, though, I seem to end up in a constant battle with myself, and my devil side always wins through.

    Hi Billy - welcome to the forum. A lot of the advice on quitting methods suggests that cutting down makes it more difficult. However, here is how I did it:

    First, the ground rules.

    [*]you can only buy ciggarettes in a pack of ten each time. No stocking up!

    [*]each time you buy a pack, buy a different brand and avoid your usual brand.

    [*]you are only allowed to smoke in places that you would not usually smoke. and you must always be standing up.

    [*]you must collect a selection of your dog ends, keep them in a sealed jar with some water in the bottom. Several times a day, take a good sniff.

    Now for the cutting down. You should aim to smoke your usual number of ciggarettes - when you want one, have one.

    However, on your first day, you can only have 12 puffs on each ciggarette, then put it out. Each day, reduce your smoking by one puff on each ciggie, until you are down to three puffs. Even when you are only having a few puffs on each ciggarette, you must never re-light an old one - start a fresh one each time. You will then be ready to stop the following day.

    This worked for me for a number of reasons. It helped me to cut down on my nicotine intake without getting into clockwatching and obsessing about when I could have my next one. It also starts to break down the habbit element, and makes smoking feel less comforting and more inconvenient.

    On this quit, I also had the advantage of champix, which alters your desire for fags anyway, but I used this on previous quits when I had used hypnotherapy and cold turkey. Those quits were quite long terms as well - two for 9 months (pregnancy) and one for a year.

    Good luck - and let us know how you get on. You will find a lot of support here. :D

  • In the past, I have looked at quitting as being almost like a sentence I had to do . . or a punishment . . Like I was really depriving myself.

    Thing is I've changed it around this time to thinking of it as being I'm treating myself to cleaner air . . more spare cash . . nicer smelling clothes and home . . white walls instead of yellow one's and hopefully . . a longer healthier life . . that's not a punishment . .

    If we look at giving up anything as being a punishment we're going to feel like we being deprived . . but all we're depriving ourselves of is a hacking cough and shortened life span . . . Keep it up Billy O . . There are people who thought they couldn't do it but one day at a time you'll get there. Jo

  • Hi billyo :) first of all congrats for going 6 months without one ^_^ don't focus on the negative.. think about how well you've proved yourself :) if you can do it once you can definately do it again!

    This is a relaxation technique that you can do when you feel anxious, to do it efficiently you'll have to take 5 or 10 minutes out of your day, but it's worth it :) -

    Close your eyes, focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath in and imagine you're breathing in the colour blue. Hold the calming colour in before breathing out.. when you breath out imagine you're despelling the colour red, which represents all your anxiety and stress.

    Once you've done this for a couple of minutes begin to imagine a healing ball of light hovering above your head, focus on the colour and texture of it.. when you've got the image clear, imagine the ball travelling down your body.. focus on everything it travels over.. the top of your head, leading down to your eyes, your cheeks and ears, your chin down to your neck and so on and so forth..

    When you reach your toes just focus on the light that is healing your body, imagine yourself glowing with your chosen colour

    I know it all sounds a bit mad but this is a technique that my trained counsellor taught me, and trust me it helps!! :)

    Goodluck xxxxxxx

  • Wow. Thank you!

    I am overwhelmed by the support that you have all shown - thank you so much.

    This has really helped me to get my head in the right place, and I am planning to quit completely a week on Sunday.

    I am combining lots of your suggestions, including Mrs T's cutting down methods and Strawberry's relaxation techniques. I am already feeling more confident that I can do this again, and although I still want to cut down first, I am almost feeling impatient about quitting completely - that's got to be a good sign!

    Thanks again to all of you. Really appreciated. :):)

  • Good luck Billyo.

    I think the fact you are on this forum will make a big difference, there always the support and advice here if you need it.

    I found whyquit.com and alan carr useful.

    Red x

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