For those of us who dont get it right first time

I've failed to quit many times and even the best of us have broke our quit in times of

want...curiosity..comfort....wonder...stress..reminders...triggers.....and of miss. Some of us keep on a quit sucessfully. Some just give up and give in completely until on there dying day they still want that last cigarette.

Some keep trying on that journey for freedom until one day they have stored & learned enough for it to happen. I am not sad or ashamed what i set out to achieve almost 4 years ago when i joined this forum because with every fail I get stronger & learn...Some attempts are half hearted...perhaps a bit cocky with an obvious fail. Some have had my heart & soul right in it ....left me wondering what went wrong....but nothing did actually go wrong.....the dissapointment turned into a positive to take time to think about the time I haven't smoked & take pride in that fact... I think now that too much energy focused on a quit has led to my failure personally. I want my quit to be something that runs along side my life...not something that is my life.

Some of you know me...some of you dont. I look on my quit journey as something to be proud of. I have learned a lot of things about the way in which to go about it. Is it really the end of my journey just because I have been attempting to quit smoking for quite some time & should know better? or is it the beginning of myself changing from the person i was 4 years ago ..... when i didnt think a day would be possible without cigarettes.

The possibilities are now endless for me.

This in no way should be read as a post to say its okay to smoke why quit.. of course it isn't....... It is just my own view without reason ..... to simply say ....that if you find yourself failing in your quit...... always remember it isn't always about getting it right first time.

Thanks for listening

12 Replies

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  • wow thats a very profound and thoughtful read thank you for sharing it with us i read it twice just to absorb it all and can relate to what your saying

    thanks again

    regards Carol

  • I think now that too much energy focused on a quit has led to my failure personally. I want my quit to be something that runs along side my life...not something that is my life.

    I can relate to this. I think that was how I was on my quit last year. This time I am trying to be a bit more low key about it. When I made it such a huge focus last year, it became a source of reseentment when my OH started smoking again.

  • Thank you carol62 for reply...glad you liked reading it....I enjoyed writing about it:)

    EllieC ...so right on that!.....glad you could relate to my post :)

    And Best wishes to you both on your quits

  • I've failed to quit many times and even the best of us have broke our quit in times of

    want...curiosity..comfort....wonder...stress..reminders...triggers.....and of miss. Some of us keep on a quit sucessfully. Some just give up and give in completely until on there dying day they still want that last cigarette.

    Some keep trying on that journey for freedom until one day they have stored & learned enough for it to happen. I am not sad or ashamed what i set out to achieve almost 4 years ago when i joined this forum because with every fail I get stronger & learn...Some attempts are half hearted...perhaps a bit cocky with an obvious fail. Some have had my heart & soul right in it ....left me wondering what went wrong....but nothing did actually go wrong.....the dissapointment turned into a positive to take time to think about the time I haven't smoked & take pride in that fact... I think now that too much energy focused on a quit has led to my failure personally. I want my quit to be something that runs along side my life...not something that is my life.

    Some of you know me...some of you dont. I look on my quit journey as something to be proud of. I have learned a lot of things about the way in which to go about it. Is it really the end of my journey just because I have been attempting to quit smoking for quite some time & should know better? or is it the beginning of myself changing from the person i was 4 years ago ..... when i didnt think a day would be possible without cigarettes.

    The possibilities are now endless for me.

    This in no way should be read as a post to say its okay to smoke why quit.. of course it isn't....... It is just my own view without reason ..... to simply say ....that if you find yourself failing in your quit...... always remember it isn't always about getting it right first time.

    Thanks for listening

    Interesting post, KK.

    There is a lot of myself that I read in that post. Afterall, I had years of many attempts at quitting and failures....31 years :( Each attempt can be a see-saw....how much investment do we decide to put in? For me I started to get better at the process after reading Allan Carr and realised that we aren't 'giving up' anything. 'Giving up' is to imbue some level of intrinsic value to smoking...there isn't. And with that simple change of thought process it became easier for me and from that point onwards I started to draw closer to my final quit.

    We're all products of what has happened, but it's up to us individually how we react to that, the choices we make.

    Keep on keepin' on,

    Cav

  • Great post KK, and I for one could really relate to that. Quitting is a journey, although I have not had a fag for a very long time now, I am still not sure I have reached my destination.

  • For me I started to get better at the process after reading Allan Carr and realised that we aren't 'giving up' anything. 'Giving up' is to imbue some level of intrinsic value to smoking...there isn't. And with that simple change of thought process it became easier for me and from that point onwards I started to draw closer to my final quit.

    We're all products of what has happened, but it's up to us individually how we react to that, the choices we make.

    Keep on keepin' on,

    Cav

    Totally agree with you there Cav. I read Allan Carr prior to this quit & feel totally different about this one :)

    Gaynor

  • I really liked this too. yesterday I was chatting to another dog walker when he just sparked up a ciggie. I was on such high alert about it, didnt know whether to grab it and smoke it, grab it and styub it out or ignore it- I am so proud that I ignored it and didnt go wistful or evangelical ex smoker on him, just quietly get on with it.

    xx

  • Cav ..... What you said was interesting & helpful..Thank you :) did not realise you were attempting to quit for so long!

    Bev ..... I never look at it as finding my destination ....I look at it as following a journey & taking everything from it what I require to help me.... I personally dont think it does end.... but as cav pointed out its how we react to it ........ seems youve reacted very well & thanks for comment

    neverstop...thanks for posting

    Sandymarsh...... I know I will never be that person when i quit who forces what i feel about smoking onto others.... I know that isnt what i would want..... therefore I wouldnt inflict it on others.... Nobody wants to smoke...if they think about it properly! .........Good on you for being cool about it so early on in your quit ......And its good to feel moody sometimes...... :) your doing something amazing

    I wont say good luck...because im not liking that word at the moment....i will say best wishes to everyone on there journey & thanks again

  • did not realise you were attempting to quit for so long!

    I'd suggest that most smokers throughout their smoking lives thought more than once of stopping, even attempt a few times. As mentioned above my attempts were at 'giving up' not stopping and I got on quite a few occasions to the point were I missed my 'best friend' and restarted.

    I did actually give up without any fuss after only 3 years of smoking but as I was going to a party my boss (a recreational smoker) handed me a pack of More. They looked so groovy and despite giving away more than half I was back on the weed by the end of the week...thanks boss :mad:

    There was the time when I wrapped a cigarette in sellotape and used that as a placebo....reasonably successful for a few months. Then the first time I seriously attempted with help. This was through a book and its advice; you had to log each cigarette smoked in a diary whilst gradually weening yourself down. Not only that, you had to carry toothpaste and toothbrush around and brush your teeth immediately after smoking. Carry around your cigs and lighter, a diary and pen, toothbrush and toothpaste....fek that for a game of soldiers....I wasnae gonna carrry a man-bag around and my pockets were bulging :(

    Another occasion I had 'given up' but started dating a girl who smoked. Rather than thinking kissing her was like kissing an ashtray it just tasted delicious. Tried hypnosis a couple of times; tried Allen Carr a couple of times.

    The thing was I was only 'giving up' and still held to the notion that smoking had a value. But I had learnt from each experience and the biggest switch was not thinking I was 'giving up' anything as learned from Allen Carr mentioned previously. Thereafter I joined this forum and that's when the Read, Read, Read and Educate yourself through you quit was being actively promoted.

    For some quitting happens quickly and others it takes a lot longer. Whatever, the Read, Read, Read and Educate yourself process has been successful for more than a few passing through this forum. I quit CT and have been quit for nearly 3 years; I know someone who today celebrates one month short of 2 years and she quit initially via patches. What I'm saying is use whatever starter system you favour but kick into learning about what you are going through...understand it....and that seems to lead to a sustained quit, to a point were you see what a complete fallacy smoking is....kinda what Austin is always banging on about. I get the odd passing thought....but it's got nothing to do with my life anymore...why would it? Smoking is stoopid :cool:

  • Thanks for post Cav...especially liking the man bag story.. perhaps not the most practical of quit tips :eek:

    I know a lot of members seem to go with I JUST KNEW it was the right time for me....hence the never looking back which must be a wonderful liberating feeling. However I still argue that fact that it isnt about your mind on a sudden realisation of one day you wake up & have been kind of brainwashed into knowing.

    Throughout my quit attempts I have had times of happiness from day 1 losing the romance completely & thinking this is it......read the self help books ..used hypnosis tapes .....& thinking hey something about this quit that feels different. Sadly all the times I ended up smoking.

    Reading & listening is the key I am in agreement totally with that.... Its about keeping your quit with a feel good factor every single day whether it is a quit for 1day...2months or 5 years I must admit I became a tad lazy with that too once I thought my journey was going quite smoothly .........We all know it is a drug & we are addicts ......... for the rest of our lifes ..... of course I am no expert on keeping on a quit for more then 6/7 months....... But from what Ive learnt & the feeling I underwent in quitting smoking.....I think it is about getting used to it over time.... like the stages of bereavement. .... everyone is different of course they are!! like every quit is different ...just my opinion

    The way someone quits does not matter ...whether they use coldturkey nrt champix ....... if someone is going to stay on that quit....that person will no matter how they began that journey ......it begins with a quit & the progresses into who quit what way?..what did you use?...for how long? a little competitive maybe.... to me likewise that does not matter .....remembering that when you smoked all that you would wish for would be to not smoke, should always be thought about when trying to run too far ahead.

    As I said I dont feel ashamed of my journey ..My quit journey is my own and I take pride in it ...... I dont have the thought anymore of one day i will it!!! tomorrow i will do it!!! ... my time will come!! or im still finding my quit!!! ...... These thoughts encourage a great deal of pressure in my mind....... This is a natural process for me. When it happens I want to keep my quit simple & I want to make sure my thoughts are not jammed up with too much...

    I am still just learning

    thanks for listening:)

  • Well that would be me as well as you then kk ........:D

    Lol. I have been quitting for over two and a half years. Longest chunk of quit time approx six months (although there might have been the odd little one even in there)

    I get frustrated and then feel embarrassed about shuffling back to the day one forum. But it is after all experience, and i've learned how to be a non smoker in those years. And a good chunk of it i didn't smoke, and i gave up lots of times. Thats much, much better than two and a hlaf years of smoking forty a day!

    It's a process, we can't all be perfect and agree that giving up is journey.

  • Hey jude...worth keeping on the journey then hey? :) .... no shame from the place I am ....... & neither should you have ..... thanks for posting :)

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