So here I am. For anyone who doesn't know I did smoke again on Saturday night and have ploughed my way through a packet of 20 since then. No excuses, it was a wilful, malicious and self-destructive act. No nicodemons 'got' me, I chose to smoke. And the cigarettes were awful. No pleasure at all. And now I am just as frightened of quitting again as I was the first time round, especially as I have decided to go cold turkey.
I have had lots of support from the members here who know I smoked again and I will always be grateful for that, so thanks everyone. But at the moment I am really inconsolable that I threw away a 50 day quit. So for anyone out there contemplating caving in, or thinking 'just one', please don't do it, you won't enjoy it. Smoking really sucks. Put out my last fag nearly half an hour ago and my mouth tastes like an ashtray.
Hope I can do it this time round.
Best wishes to everyone,