Day five will be make or break... - No Smoking Day

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Day five will be make or break...

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Hi everyone. First time poster, but been lurking since I quit at 11.15pm on Sunday 6 November. Can I first just say what an amazing bunch you all are on here. Been looking at some really old posts and spent a lot of time reading accounts from people who have reached 12 months and beyond (here's to hoping). To know that a support network like this exists has given me extra motivation to make this quit my last.

I'll post my full story at some point in the future, but I just wanted to give a bit of an update on how my quit has been so far. Four days in and although I hate to admit it, it's not been as bad as I thought. With the help of a few packs of extra strong mints and more chocolate than I've eaten in years, I seem to be coasting at the moment. It goes without saying that I feel like I'm in mourning and I get regular cravings, but they're quite manageable. The mundane day-to-day is feeling very doable! That said, I know tomorrow will be the biggest test of all...

Like a lot of twenty-somethings, I love a good night out and used to smoke a hell of a lot after I had a few shandies. It's no doubt been said before, but cigs and booze go together far too easily. I go out pretty much every weekend and tomorrow evening is no different. I know it's going to be a great party and that there'll be smokers out with me...All previous quit attempts have failed due to alcohol but I really don't want this one to go the same way.

I'm going to take my mints, not get too crunked up and steer clear of the smokers. I guess it's part of the reconditioning process and I'm not going to hide from alcohol just because it's been a trigger in the past. I'm going to be confident in my quit as I know that when I wake up on Saturday having resisted temptation, it's another baby step towards being a non-smoker. Wish me luck!

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nsd_user663_7469 profile image
nsd_user663_7469

I love your attitude and I know that like everyone alcohol is a bit of a danger zone when you first quit, but imagine how proud you will feel when you have been out with your mates and then wake up the next morning knowing you were able to say NO, think of it this way, would you risk your life by getting into a car that was driven by someone who had been drinking, no of course you wouldn’t, ok so you maybe wouldn’t be in a major accident this time but eventually the odds would be against you, so it’s just the same with smoking at the moment you are fine but eventually the odds will be against you and they will be saying those immortal words, I am sorry to tell you but!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there you will feel so much better, eventually, and the choccy mmmm great way to quit and that wears off after a while as I know from personal experience.

Enjoy your night out without the cigs, just remember quitting will give you lots more nights out in the future.

nsd_user663_3607 profile image
nsd_user663_3607

Welcome!

Welcome "This is the time"

Firstly - come join the November Nope group! A warm welcome is assured.

I am in exactly the same situation as you - will be on Day 10 tomorrow and have a night out planned. I got some advice from the forum and also mixed in some of my own:

1. Take your list of reasons with you - either on your phone or on a piece of paper in ya wallet.

2. If you do have an Iphone - download the My Last Cigarette app (I'm not a spammer - promise) - its great - a quick look at that and you will not want to smoke!

3. Assume that you have done this - lets your mates know that you have stopped - maybe make a joke of it - anyone who offers you a fag has a Sambuca shot or something ( is it only guys that do this).

4. Try not to get tooooooooo drunk...I've certainly done a few things I have regretted when drunk (probably for another forum somewhere :-)) but don't let smoking be one.

5. Enjoy yourself!!!! Accomplishing this will be removing one of your biggest triggers and it will get easier (so I am told!).

Cheers

Chris!!!

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

Thanks Jamangie, thanks Chris. To be honest, I'm absolutely bricking it! That said, I know that if I can get over tomorrow, I'll be well on my way. It's just not worth giving in for the sake of alcohol. I'm also treating this quit as a test of my own personal boundaries. I always felt that I was a strong person but I want to prove to myself that I can be disciplined. I think it sets a great precedent for the rest of my life. I've kind of been bumbling along for a good few years, had issues with debt, motivation etc. This could be the start of something really positive.

Chris, I'd love to join the November group mate. Thanks for the invite...I'll just have to figure out how! I'm not a regular user of forums, so I'm not hugely competent! If I end up in August 2009, don't be surprised.

I like your tips, particularly the one about the shots. I know I'll get plenty of stick from my mates but, generally, they are supportive. I'm only worried about my own temptations. Luckily, I live in the city centre so I've told myself that if the temptation gets too much, I'm just going to go home.

Thanks for the support. I'll let you know how it goes.

nsd_user663_7469 profile image
nsd_user663_7469

NO NO dont shoot yourself it cant be that bad can it, oh you mean shots LOL trust me to get it wrong, this move is so confidence building and also very humbling as well, makes us better people I think.

Water sipped is a great help as well.

nsd_user663_20558 profile image
nsd_user663_20558

I second Chris's advice - have a drink, have a good time, but try to avoid getting completely lashed, because that's when all good intentions go out of the window.

And once you've done this a couple of times you'll be well on your way to completely breaking the associations.

Well done on getting this far. Don't let a night out ruin all your hard work!

Helen

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

Thanks for the support Helen. I'm going to ease myself in with quite a steady night and survey the room for my nearest exits. If the urge gets too much, I'm out of there!

I've just won an iPad at work and I've become mildly addicted to that (personality trait, perhaps!) so if it does get too much, I can go home and distract myself with that!

nsd_user663_18145 profile image
nsd_user663_18145

:DWELL DONE:D

your sounding very positive and winning an ipad will def keep your hands and mind busy

do your mates know that your stopped smoking? as when your out im sure they will support you when you get the urge

when you do get one just remember to think really hard before you smoke but if you do give into temptation dont and i mean dont give yourself a hard time about it and start smoking again your only human after all just put it down to a glich

hope you have a great night

regards Carol

nsd_user663_37337 profile image
nsd_user663_37337

'This is the time' - we share the same quit time/date exactly! This is my first post, but I too have been reading this forum loads since Sunday. It really does help.

This is my second attempt at quitting for good. I first quit in August 2009 after being hypnotised. My boss had done it after years of smoking 50 a day and said as soon as he left the appointment, he had no urge to smoke whatsoever. I really enjoyed smoking (still do), but thought if I could save myself £160 + a month and not end up like one of those women off 10 years younger with no teeth, with NO EFFORT....why the hell not! I did, and it worked. Except, i definitely didn't have the experience i was expecting. Mind blowing withdrawal symptoms and a lot of hard work.... but the strong belief that i was now a non smoker and would never smoke again stayed with me.

I did however, begin smoking again after 9 months. But for those of you who may never have reached this point in your quit, please let me assure you that it wasn't a case of succumbing to a fag or not being able to do it anymore (this feeling passes very quickly), and there was no sigh of relief when i took a drag, after of all those months of "depriving myself". It tasted DISGUSTING, made me dizzy and i felt like i could throw up.... it really was rank!! I powered through though, simply because I was in a self-distructive, upset frame of mind and was being an idiot..... and that was it - addicted again. Please don't think from what I've said that you will feel compelled to have a cigarette when times get hard either. I faced many of those challenges prior to starting up again, and never once thought of having a fag.

This time, i am doing it on my own completely, and it is hard! I burst into tears for no good reason (apart from feeling there is no point to anything anymore - ha!) yesterday - day 3. I also burst into tears on day 3 of my last quit, so it's kind of comforting to know that nicotene withdrawal follows a pattern that we must endure and come through.

It's so hard to get out of bed in the mornings now I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, and I am really struggling to see a life without cigarettes. It's silly though, as I know that I was in a very happy place for the months that I previously quit. Nicotene is a powerful drug!!

Best wishes everyone!!

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

THanks CJL_elsie. On the whole, I'm feeling pretty confident and feel that every day is another hurdle that I've overcome. I revert back to my original post though and believe that it's not the physical withdrawal that I'm suffering from, moreover the feeling that I'm actually mourning something. Rediculous really but I feel genuinely upset that I've stopped - like saying goodbye to an old friend and something that's been part of what's made me me for over a decade. I'm trying to put into perspective that, in fact, I've said goodbye to the worst part of me and I should be happy. Very difficult though!

Even so, I'm delighted that I've got this far and day five is so far proving a repeat of every day until this point. Surprise that I'm coping without pulling my hair out, that occassional crave, imagining the next hurdle to overcome and, ultimately trying to make it until the end of the day without smoking. It's a cycle that will no doubt be set to repeat for another few months, but not one that fills me with a sense of forboding dread of an impending apocolypse. It's a dull ache rather than an excruciating pain.

Carol - I love the fact that we decided to quit at exactly the same point in time. I hope that you're coping well and that in a year's time we can celebrate the anniversary proud of the fact that we haven't smoked another cig since.

Happy Friday everyone!

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

Sorry guys, got you the wrong way round. Thanks for the congrats Carol and lovely to meet you my quit buddy CJL-elsie! :)

nsd_user663_37337 profile image
nsd_user663_37337

.... that will be your dizzy brain!

I know exactly what you mean about mourning the loss of a friend. To me, it's so much worse than breaking up with somebody - at least when you're going through a break up, you have cigarettes to "help you through".

Today is a much better day for me. Now that i can concentrate for more than 10 seconds I have been searching for gyms near me to start getting healthy as of Monday. I am already a member of a cheap gym, but it's pretty basic and so I am going to see the mother of all gyms this evening. It's a lot more expensive of course, but Im saving myself a lot of money by quitting and I deserve a treat i reckon. This week is for depression, next week is for getting on with it!

Thisisthetime - since your quit have you come into contact with any smokers? I haven't yet, as I now live alone, but last time I quit, I was living with a friend and we had people over alot. All of my friends smoke, and when they went outside to have a fag, I would always join them. It's obviously not quite the same, but I found that I went back inside feeling just as satisfied as they did. Smoking isn't just about the hand to mouth action and inhaling nicotene, it's alot to do with just taking some time to chill out. You never know, you may surprise yourself this weekend if you find the same thing. I hope so. You sound like you have a good attitude though; i too agree that you shouldn't avoid the situation. Try and let the smugness wash over you as you watch your friends smoke! haha - it's not nice, but it helps.

Best Wishes x

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

The gym's a great idea. I've always been a massive fan of the gym anyway. I go three to five times a week, play football, cricket and tennis regularly and think that sport/excercise is a great way to release those feel-good endorphines.

Believe it or not though, my most savoured cig of the day was the one I had walking back from the gym! I've replaced it by jogging back from the gym, while eating a mint....I suppose I'll get used to that in time!

I have not avoided spending time with smokers, I've just not chanced upon many yet. Although I went around to my friend's place the other night (he's been quit for four months) and his girlfriend smokes. She was having a few cigs out of the window and it did stir some feelings. A crave, then jealousy, then frustration, then a memory of 'better times' when I smoked, then relief as she finished it. Finally, I went to bed a few hours later feeling proud of myself for facing the temptation and resisting. That was the most satisfying feeling of the night.

Although everyone is different, I'd say that if you feel confident, facing your triggers early on in your quit is a great way to fast track your recovery. I'm by no means an expert and this might not work for everybody. However, I think that facing your fears is often a more daunting prospect than your fears themselves. Case in point, I'm so scared about going out tonight and being tempted while I've got my beer goggles on. I'm scared of being tempted. Yet I've dealt with temptation already, just in a different guise. Theoretically, I've done it before therefore I can do it again.

Have a great weekend!

Jonathan

nsd_user663_36292 profile image
nsd_user663_36292

Hey Guys - last Friday was day 15 for me - I went for my monthly game of poker at a friends house. There were 10 of us and 7 (yes 7!) of them were smokers. They offered to go outside for their "break" but it was pissing down so I and the other 2 non smokers felt guilty, especially as the house belonged to 2 of the smokers. And you know what - I was fine, it honestly didn't bother me, I had a few beers too and was still fine. But the next day - my clothes STANK - couldn't believe how much. Just helped reaffirm that I'm doing the right thing.

nsd_user663_37337 profile image
nsd_user663_37337

And you, Jonathan... have fun.

Hi 'Goodbye to all that' - As much as i love smoking, smoking inside suffocates me and makes me feel sick anyway, so i reckon they were doing you a favour! Im going to watch x factor round a friend's house tomorrow night; they also smoke indoors, so im hoping that like you, it will reaffirm the fact that I am doing the right thing :)

Is day 22 treating you well...?

nsd_user663_35711 profile image
nsd_user663_35711

First off welcome to both of you, this forum has and will continue to be a lifeline to me. Make good use of it.

This is the time, take the evening an hour at a time. If you feel like having one just think for a minute and say to yourself I'll wait 5 mins and just do the whole night like that. You may find that after the 5 mins you will have forgotten all about the thought of having one.

Whatever, have a great time and make day 5 the make day not the break day.

Good Luck

Lillie xx

nsd_user663_33441 profile image
nsd_user663_33441

Good sugestion lillie,

If you feel like having one just think for a minute and say to yourself I'll wait 5 mins and just do the whole night like that. You may find that after the 5 mins you will have forgotten all about the thought of having one.

Will remember that when I restart my quit tomorrow.

Zoe xxxx

nsd_user663_35439 profile image
nsd_user663_35439

My OH is still smoking (she does feel guilty as she instigated the quit...hate that word!!!...its stop not quit)...however without realising it, my beautiful wife has demystified smoking...her trips to the spare room are minutes added to 'time saved' (should it be time addded to life???)... she has used all the reasons that i used to use (I could be run over by a bus tomorrow...i enjoy it...i'm stressed...[she is - her father is in ITU]...There will always be a reason why we smoked...just not a logical intelligent justifiable reason...congratulations to people on day 1 or day 1001...high five...we can beat this :)

nsd_user663_37375 profile image
nsd_user663_37375

Hi all - thanks for the advice. Just thought I'd update you on my progress on Friday night. I was in a stinker of a mood and had a bit of a rubbish day at work so my mindset wasn't at its best. However, I went and met my friends aremed with the advice and support of you guys and, on the whole, it went really well. I coped admirably, had plenty of beers and didn't make a big deal out of it.

But, I have to be honest and say that, later on, I had a few drags of a mate's cig (he didn't know I had quit) but literally the second I exhaled the second drag, I felt an horrific wave of shame and guilt wash over me and walked back into the pub and straight to the toilet to wash my hands and have a word with myself in the mirror. I was pretty drunk by this point so decided that the best thing to do would be to go home. I woke up the next morning feeling terrible that I'd given in and had a few drags but then at the same time I felt proud that I hadn't indulged any further. I had two drags, realised my stupidity and went home, away from further temptation. Considering I'd had a skinful, this demonstrated considerable restraint!

The two drags aside (i'm not counting them...not sure what the protocol for minor slips like this is - I'm not punishing myself as I'm doing incredibly well), today I celebrate being in week two! I've saved £30 and haven't lost my temper or snapped at anyone yet. My horrible clear-my-throat cough has almost gone and my clothes smell amazing.

In summary, this weekend I learnt that slip-ups are okay. As long as you learn from them.

nsd_user663_35711 profile image
nsd_user663_35711

That is so sensible. Dont beat yourself up, you have done incredibly well.

Keep on thinking this way and you will be fine.

Lillie xx

nsd_user663_37337 profile image
nsd_user663_37337

I went visiting my parents at the weekend and got quite drunk. Just before I went to bed I hatched a plan to leave the house early to 'walk the dogs' and go and buy some cigarettes. I even found a cigarette butt in my bag and was very close to taking a drag out of the window, but didn't dare in the end because of the smell and being busted by my mother - ha! On sunday morning when I woke up, I felt like the biggest idiot in the world and did no such thing.

I think you did very well to have a word with yourself so quickly like that, especially in a drunken state. To show even that much restraint during the first weekend is a big achievement. I know for me days 6 & 7 were by far the worst - which was a shock in itself.

Keep going!

nsd_user663_18145 profile image
nsd_user663_18145

you both are doing so well :D well done to you both as i said before a few drags is nothing but a blip the fact that you didnt let that nicorette demon tempt you back is the biggest challenge :D and you didnt so thats brill

sleeping on it is always a good omen as well because you wake up in a different mind frame

just keep your mind and hands busy and take each craving as it comes in and breathe distract yourself till it passes you by and it will :)

nsd_user663_37337 profile image
nsd_user663_37337

Thank you Carol :)

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