Erm, I'm not quite sure what I am trying to say here, so please bear with me. Last week, at the end of Week 4, I was so full of confidence, and euphoria about not smoking, that I guess I thought I had cracked it. Whoa, complacency setting in at Week 4???? Not good. But this week has been the week from hell, no kidding. I have been soooo bad-tempered, irritable, grouchy grumpy, depressed, and spoiling for a fight. I had a serious craving for a smoke on the evening of my 1st Month anniversary which knocked me for six, and I guess that explains my moods since then as I lost all my confidence. I have had quite a few craves since then, quite bad, but not with the intensity of those first few awful days. And I did get into an argument in a shop tonight, quite rightly, as the cashier was seriously in the wrong. But I did what I had to do to resolve the problem, and even though I was raving mad I didn't even think of a cigarette:eek: and didn't realise that until everything was sorted. So however bad this week has been, I guess I have been learning?? When I feel like a fag I am now able to think, well no, not just today. And I am starting to realise that we are all going through a process, and that whatever crops up is just part of that. None of us stop smoking and become a non-smoker overnight as it just doesn't work that way. There is this blumming 'process' to go through. So in saying that, am I beginning to accept the 'process' and what is happening to me?? I dunno. But I just hang on each day to see what the next day will bring, cos I am a curious person and would hate to miss out on anything just for the sake of a cigarette. And one thing I do know, I am so sure as hell that I will complete my first 5 weeks tomorrow lunchtime
Sorry for the rambly post, again,:rolleyes: but it has been a tough week.
Still standing though