Acceptance of addiction

talesfromthequit.com/howlin...

“I used to think that, once I’d refrained from smoking for a certain period of time (say, a month. or a year. whatever.) that the habit was broken and I no longer needed to think about it or prepare myself for its return. now I understand that this is no mere habit, to be put on or taken off like a suit of clothes; it's an addiction, and addictions don't go away.”

Have read this article more than once before, re-read it again today, finally it seems to be getting through to me, I can never smoke again, I’ll never be able to control my smoking it will always control me, I’m no longer physically addicted but I’m going through that transition period where my body is learning to live without nicotine, learning to live without being poisoned 20 times a day (or more when drinking), feeling blue for no good reason, I’ve stopped smoking, I’m exercising, whilst not losing weight I’m not putting it on (I have actually lost weight since stopping smoking) but I need to accept my metabolic rate has decreased with stopping smoking. There has been this nebulous semi formed idea that at some point a fag will be ok, it won’t it’s never going to change, have been here so many times before – never take another puff. It will get easier – this too will pass.

8 Replies

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  • Congratulations,

    I think you have the message spot on there there bud.

    Cheers

    Nic

  • The thought of never smoking again is a very hard one for some people, but having the knowledge that it is almost certain that just one will lead to a full blown relapse is, I think, a very important thing.

    If you can, just at the point when it feels inevitable - you NEED a cigarette, remember that fact.... remember just what it means to be an addict... you will find that little bit of extra strength to keep going.

    Sometimes all it takes is knowledge. You don't need to be stronger than "the habit", you don't need massive willpower.

    Knowing that one cigarette will almost certainly end your quit should be enough to beat that crave.

    A couple more things I would like to remind everyone of....

    1) A crave will go away on its own, whether you smoke or not.

    2) Smoking cannot solve any problem.

    Knowledge is power. Read, Read, Read.

  • aww i love that link stuart , so basically we are addicts forever & its the feeding of the addiction that causes us to be addicted again...however coz i am on day 16 i do hope this same feeling isnt with me forever ( i can deal with it maybe a million times less later on in quit) do you in honesty think we just get used to it? coz thats what i thought earlier in quit that it dosnt get easier we just get used to it.. eh like getting used to a new job or used to driving a new car or used to a new routine? maybe i was making sense in a small way

    thanks for sharing x

  • Quit Smoking Online

    quitsmokingonline.com is amazing - I picked it up from one of the threads on here - explains so fully how and why we get craving and how to deal with them - it is apparent to me that the hardest thing is dealing with the psychological issues rather than the physical ones which I know are unpleasant but ease with thim I am told -so thanks for mentioning the site I am recommending it to as many as I can - it really helped me understand and I am starting my 2nd quit oon Friday with more knowledge this time which I hope will help me I fell off the quit last Friday after 8 days - was my first attempt ever in 40 years - so have reduced my intake right down and planned a few days off work early next week just to get the nicotine gone etc. - ever hopeful that 1 week back smoking will make the withdrawal a tiny bit easier but we will see !! All about mind set - best - Peta

  • hi hoboatheart

    hi hoboatheart

    good luck with quit on friday hope it goes well, im sure you will coz has youve said you will learn from previous quit & kind of know wot to expect

    i am intrigued to read the link later when more time.. doing school run in a minute

    take care x

  • Thanks kitkat almost looking forward to Friday if that doesn't sound too bizarre !! Yes honest to God it a really useful read and you need a bit of time as it works rather like a course - it comes up at one stage offering you to buy something of you make a donation - just ignore that as I did and continue with the reading - brilliant in explaining about the monsters and their demands !! Speak later - best - Peta

  • aww i love that link stuart , so basically we are addicts forever & its the feeding of the addiction that causes us to be addicted again...however coz i am on day 16 i do hope this same feeling isnt with me forever ( i can deal with it maybe a million times less later on in quit) do you in honesty think we just get used to it? coz thats what i thought earlier in quit that it dosnt get easier we just get used to it.. eh like getting used to a new job or used to driving a new car or used to a new routine? maybe i was making sense in a small way

    thanks for sharing x

    Just because you are still addicted does not mean that you are going to have a problem with it long term.

    I've just past 10 months quit, and I honestly can't remember the last time I thought about cigarettes while I wasn't on this forum!

    I found that somewhere around the 6 months I just gradually stopped thinking about it, while much earlier (around 3 months - 100 days) I started accepting that not smoking didn't actually bother me anymore.

    I will always be a nicotine addict, but that doesn't mean that I will always want to smoke.....

    But should I smoke during a moment of idiocy in 10 years time, my addiction will be re awakened and I will be faced with a simple choice.... go through withdrawal again or smoke until the day I die.

    Someone on here used to have a signature that I really liked....

    "I would rather be an abstaining addict with the occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to quit".

    I think that says it all, really.

    It really does get easier, I promise. Just keep going one day at a time and sooner or later you will suddenly realise that you didn't think about it yesterday....

    It will happen without you even knowing. One day at a time, one step at a time.... To quote Kevin at Woofmang "everytime you are given the opportunity to choose, choose not to smoke" and it will happen.

    You are doing amazingly, day 16 is awesome!!!! Just keep doing what you're doing, cos it's working :D

    And Hoboatheart - it's so good to see you taking the time to read prior to quitting, it really is vital.... my own experiences of the education part can be found here nosmokingday.org.uk/forum/s... , I tried the best I could to put my feelings at the time into words.... seems a lifetime ago now :D

  • Interesting conversation

    Had a convo last week with a colleague who had given up years ago (as has her husband) Whilst talking she told me that she loathes cigarettes and smokers now but her husband like me still has a more ambivalent reaction, he acknowledges that one puff would start him again, so he chooses never to have that one puff. I'm wondering if it would be easier to truly feel as she does and detest smoking and smokers rather than knowing that whilst I hate being addicted, the cost, the smell and everything about it there is still that fond memory - which is even more irksome, as there is nothing pleasant about smoking, the only point was to feed the addiction.

    We have a mutual acquaintance, who has given up smoking several times and always goes for months and months - then starts again. This is the longest I've ever managed to not smoke, always caved in before now - determined that it's not going to happen this time (maybe that's another reason why I'm so blue, grieving the friend who I hung out with for 20 years then began to loathe) talesfromthequit.com/just-one. Have posted elsewhere that today is 50 days for me - I want this quit to be at some point my 50 year quit.

    And lastly, to all the people who say things like, oh one won't hurt or if you really wanted to stop you just would - these aren't helpful statements. If you can't say anything positive, say nothing at all.

    Never take another puff.

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