Really struggling now

I'm finding the last couple of days to be getting harder and harder. I am currently over half way through day 13 and I am finding the urge to smoke getting stronger and stronger. I am actually sweating at the moment. I have an e cig at home which I kept with me the first few days but didn't use it. I have cigarettes at home and I was able to sit in the house and not take them either. But now that I am spending the weekend in my other halfs (even though he is at work) I am finding it really hard. I have access to cigarettes anyway and I am very tempted to just light one up. I've never hit rock bottom on a quit before but at the minute I really just want to forget the quit and light up. I know I would be incredibly disappointed in myself but it feels like I really have gone about this the wrong way (If I had the e cig here at least I could use it to make sure I don't smoke). Why isn't there a magic button that we can press and make the withdrawl process finish straight away? I have never known a craving like this and although I have been stubborn so far I really don't know if I can keep being stubborn or if I should just give in and try again when I have been able to get my e cig or if I should just keep suffering and run the risk of getting resentful of the quit. I'm not sure what to do for the best so any advice will be greatly received and appreciated.

13 Replies

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  • None of the shops out here sell e cigs, not the kind that I would use anyway. If they did I probably would have bought two of them lol. I tried the ones they do sell in the past and they didn't do anything for me. Thanks for the advice tho Debbie :). I'll keep it in mind and if it doesn't get any better I'll maybe go and buy one :( Anything other than smopking right? :D

  • Hi Mark, I'm going to paraphrase an answer I gave to someone a long while ago...

    I believe there are defining moments in everyone's quit, the times which can make a quit solid or end up breaking a quit.

    I believe that this is a defining moment for you. The moment where you will either make or break your quit.

    You've had a few days from hell. At this point you've not smoked. It's unlikely to ever get worse than you are feeling right now, trust me, I had a few of those days in my quit at the start.

    If you can beat this mother of all craves I believe you will make this a solid, forever quit. It's one of the nicodemons big attempts to break you.

    Are you going to get beaten by a plant or are you going to define your quit?

    My money is on you, not the plant.

    Shortly this crave will have gone, you'll feel a massive sense of achievement in having beaten it and you'll know that if it ever happens again you can beat it again.

    If you really need to, use patches or gum etc over the Ecig, because using an Ecig continues the physical action of smoking which you also need to break.

    Stay strong, I'm rooting for you.

  • Aiming to stay on the horse...

    Thanks Capitan - I hope I can get through it. I'm trying my best to look up to those on the forum because I know that you have all been there and come through it successfully. I can only hope that I can emulate that. I am going to try to keep going. I also know that if I fall on this quit I need to get straight back on as every single time provides a lesson - the aim here is to not slip but it happens to everyone so I know for sure that if if if that does happen that I need to get straight back on the horse.

  • Hi Mark, try to get through just one hour at a time, when I get those overwhelming urges to light up I do something silly, like jumping jacks until I'm so out of breath the last thing I want is a smoke, other times I'll brush my teeth, scream, punch pillows or even jump in the shower, anything but give in to the demon. You've half a day until you're at the two week mark - give it some wellie and stick to the quit - YOU can do it.

  • Hi Lostie - I do give some very good advice but I am the worst in the world for ignoring my own advice. It has calmed slightly but there is still a constant dull crave in the background. I'm really pushing to stay stopped tho so the goal is there. (also I'm a serial quitter and have used each one as an educational experience to try and better it)

    Jennine - I have actually been very calm during the last two weeks but people have been acting funny around me as if they are expecting me to snap and maybe break something - can't think why :rolleyes: lol

  • Jennine - I have actually been very calm during the last two weeks but people have been acting funny around me as if they are expecting me to snap and maybe break something - can't think why :rolleyes: lol

    Yes, I've had that one too, before my other half stopped he would ask what's wrong if I was a little bit quiet then get really snappy when I pulled a face every time he came in stinking of fags. As I failed three times before I haven't actually told anyone I've quit - then if I didn't make it I didn't feel like I was letting anyone down let alone myself, but I can honestly say I feel differently this time and am soooooooo determined not to let that demon get me again :cool:

  • Hi Mark, you keep trying and that is great:)'it means you really want to quit' Have you tried Champix? They really do help with the cravings and you soon lose the desire to smoke.

    Anything that helps in the early days.:)

    I would recommend Champix they helped me that is for sure.

  • Dig in Mark, if you have a smoke you'll feel better for all of ten seconds, then you'll kick yourself repeatedly, wondering what the fuss was about and wishing you were back where you are now.

    Great posts above to go at, keep posting yourself, I'll keep an eye on this thread this evening.....;)

  • Couldn't stick at it guys. Unfortunately I slipped. Gonna take a couple of hours to really think about it, maybe go through some of Allen carrs stuff again and then get back into it. I just need to regroup and get back into it again. I know my own body and mind and know that tonight will be spent smoking. Not sure what tomorrow holds but I will get back into it at some point very very soon. I'll update you all very soon. I will be back and when I am I'll be back with a vengeance!!!

    See you all soon.

  • Oh well......................

  • Sad

    Mark,

    You were sort of looking for excuses and giving yourself permission to smoke from the offset in this thread.

    With the 'I can always start again....' Attitude... Yeah you can always start again and again and again and again... But why bother with the anguish and pain... Wy not either stay stopped or don't bother and stay an addict ?

    Sorry if it sounds harsh but not sure why post about how you are justifying your return to addiction... Believe me we have all been there, we have all thought about 'well we can start again and chalk it up to experience' but there comes a point when you will run out of retries, when there will be no and then...

    Good luck in your next try. I really do hope you can kick this.

    Paul

  • Thanks for the replies guys. The one thing I will say tho is that I really wasn't looking for an excuse to smoke. What I was doing was making sure in my mind that if I did fail, which I did, I wouldn't be too hard oin myself and ensure that I would go weeks, maybe months, before I try again.

    Kat - I am getting back on the horse. I didn't get home today to get my e cig so I went and bought a spray to get me through any potential rough patches. The main point, as far as I am concerned, is to keep going and never give up on giving up.

    I have reinforced in my mind that I don't need the 'special cigarettes', in fact I really don't need any of the cigarettes. It's just a case now of going forward and dealing with any craves as they come along. I will, as is my own preference, go back to day one and start the counting again. And I will check in regularly to seek any advice or encouragement I need. This is the best support network I could hope to find so I hope to continue to use it and I hope that the support will be there as I move forward.

    To anyone hanging about the forum, join and post, post, post. What you will get here is invaluable encouragement and support from people who have gone through, and continue to go through, the journey towards freedom.

  • Great. Just keep quitting.

    Paul

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