Hard Time Last Night

[nsd_user663_34721]

Just thought I would share.

Over the last few Days / Weeks, I have been "refurbing" the "Cinema" (Our Second lounge).

This is a Mammoth task, as it entails Projector, Screen, Sound System, Lighting System, Aircon, Cables etc etc etc (I think the Men will understand).

I have enjoyed all the time I have spent doing this BUT man alive lastnight was the pitts!

All I wanted to do was smoke! what is worse is my Son and I tackle projects like this together, I found my self being extremely 'curt" with him!

He is only eight but I have found of late I am losing the patiance I once had tons of!!!

I dont want to be like my "Old Man" and of late I have being seeing alot of him manifesting itself in me, last night my Son says "Dad! why you talking cross to me" so I ask what do you mean? he replies "You allways call me Boy or My Boy, when you cross you call me Kyle you been calling me Kyle all night"

So I shout for my 16 y/o Daughter "NICOOOOOOOLE!" and ask Kyle to repeat to her what he has just said.

She replies "Dad you always call me Nikki or Noodle how did you just call me ?"

NICOOOOOOOLE! yea Dad you have been Kinda offish

And here I was thinking I am handeling this PERFECTLY!

[nsd_user663_34425]

Know the feeling!

Recently, my weekends with 2 kids (both younger than yours and hard work at the best of times!) have been "trying" to say the least!! I'm just hoping we're nearly over the worst now with 2 months almost behind me

[nsd_user663_34721]

Dude the last thing I want, is to be the type of "Father" my Dad was, make no mistake he was an awsome MAN.

He was a Fantatastic "Provider" we (The Kids) NEVER went without, we all had the privilage of University Educations.

We were ALL given a HUGE jump start on Graduating in the form of NEW Car and our first "Flat" bought and paid for, and FULLY furnished by "Mother" dearest.

But as a father I NEVER saw him, he was to busy making money and when I did he was in a foul mood.

So where do we find the balance between being a good father and a good husband whilst being a good provider ?

Eish! (African word Google it!)

[nsd_user663_20978]

dont worry gary your temper will subside you are still in very early days

i never thought i could get through life not smoking and not stressing and shouting .........well i am, and i am so laid back and relaxed now that i am sure when i used to be stressed as a smoker it was just a good excuse to have another cigarette

give yourself time and dont expect to much to soon

you have spent years training yourself to be a smoker and smoking with every emotion and situation and now you have to retrain yourself to be a non smoker and it will take time to break all the triggers but you will do it believe me

my children were more than willing to put up with my bad moods in the early days rather than me start smoking again i am sure your children would rather you be moody for a little while longer rather than you start again

stay strong gary

just give it time it will all fall in place

boo

[nsd_user663_35834]

Hi Gary,

First of all your obviously a great Father...... this is 'obvious' because your'e concerned that you may be being a little 'curt' with your kids at the moment.

Not sure how you can stop that ? I noticed you quit cold turkey... :eek:

I would assume your kids are aware that Dad is quitting ? Explain to them you may be a little 'short' at times over the next few weeks and that it's not really you....it the nicotine withdrawal. I'm sure they would understand even your younger son

I can tell you for sure the main reason I have been unable to quit for so long is that cold turkey I am 'horrible' extremley irritable, angry at everyone and everything :mad: I'm generally a very laid back and chilled out guy, takes a lot to wind me up but take my fags away.... I'm a basket case.

This time I've tried the Champix, yes I was a little concerned regarding possible side effects... but so far so good. The main thing they seem to have done is eliminate that irriatable / short temperedness ? ..weird !

So stick to it mate, I'm sure your kids would prefer a grouchy Dad for a few weeks, in return for a longer living and healthier Dad long term !

[nsd_user663_35121]

Your lucky children won't remember a few tetchy moments. They'll remember a loving man who is obviously very self aware.

AND who's setting them a great example by not smoking!

Don't give yourself a hard time.

Love,

LizzieX

ps. Your 'cinema' sounds fabulous!

[nsd_user663_34855]

Don't forget Gary that just as we can blame every emotion on quitting, so can our family. We all have the capacity to be tetchy at times regardless of the circumstances. (Even laid back people!) I am sure they would rather have you being tetchy as oppose to the alternative

Pip