The start of day 13 and not coping

Its the early hours of the morning and the beginning of day 13 for me. I have to be honest and admit that Im not coping very well. Im sleeping a lot during the day and not getting up till about 11 am. Im off work at the moment as Im recuperating from an operation so Im lucky that I can do that if I need to.

I have lost interest in cooking etc, I really cant be bothered with much, all of my energy is going into not smoking.

I was recently diagnosed with COPD, I have no idea what stage it is at, I'll ask when I next see my doctor. In order to boost my will power I did a search on the internet about COPD, I didnt realise it was as dangerous as it is. So now I know if I want to be around for a while longer and dont want to suffer a slow painful death, then a non smoker I must remain.

I just dont know how much longer I can keep up the good fight, it is wearing me down now. I wake in the morning and the first thing that enters my head is its day *whatever day it is* and I cant smoke today, thats all Im thinking all day, I cant smoke today.

Im sorry this is a miserable post but Im feeling really miserable. I know I cant smoke but I dont know how much longer I can do this.

If I do give in remember it was my weakness and it doesnt have to be yours.

Best Wishes

lillie xxxx

10 Replies

  • You can keep up the fight, Lillie, cause I tell you it's worth the fight. Right now you are smack in the middle of it and yes, I know it's tough BUT one day you will look back and you'll see how lucky you were that you didn't give up..... because one day (sooner than you think even) you will completely forget about smoking, unbelievable as that seems right now..... one day you will relish the fact that you go through your day without craves, without thinking of fags non-stop.... because that day you won't be controlled by them. Right now your addiction is calling you back, calling strongly, because your body needs it's fix.... don't give in, the urges/craves will lessen, I promise, embrace this fight!

    I had a blip at day 10, I remember how tough it was, I cried, stuffed my face with gummy bears and drank wine like it was water (not recommended ;)) but now in comparison, my struggles were nothing for what I gained. I wish the same for EVERY ex-smoker, so here's a big huge YOU CAN DO IT! Hang in there! :)

  • No No No.......

    It may be the early hours lillie but SUPER DRAGON is here for YOU !!! :p

    I've just got back home after collecting my Mum's from the airport.... and finding that the motorway was shut due to roadworks... a 45min journey turned into nearly 2 hours.....:mad: AND..... guess what was in my car the whole way there and back ??

    1x dirty smelly stinking ashtray.......yuck yuck

    I haven't cleaned my car out since my quit date.... 6 days ago The horrible smelly ashtray is now in the wheelie bin where it belongs !

    Anyway, what's all this 'if I do give in talk' I can see Nicodemon has obviously paid you a visit cause he's had no joy from me.....

    TELL HIM TO F**** OFF !!!

    Your on DAY 13..... I know it's hard but think of all the effort you've already put in ..... you can't just chuck it away. Your almost at 2 WEEKS !!!

    That's Awesome !!!

    Instead of listening to Nico Demon, listen to the Dragon....

    Please please please...don't give in now, even if you only promise to stay quit until you hit the 2 WEEK MARKER and if you still don't feel better then fair enough, but I bet you will be miles better in a day or two.

    Quitting can't be easy can it ....Which sane person would willingly spend £7+ away on a packet of posion ? and slowly kill themselves...

  • p.s lillie......

    one more tiny favour.....

    please watch this:


    When I'm really struggling, that soon reminds me what this fight is about :(

    Stay Strong



  • Hey Lillie im sending you a great big cyber hug. i know your feeling down and whats the point and feeling like your missing something. i think you should put your feet up watch a good film have lots of treats. cos you deserve a reward a great big gold medal for what you have achieved ,its massive. give yourself all the loving attention you would give to someone you really love whos going through what your going through. Its my day 13 as well today and i can honestly say i do think about them a lot but im honestly better off without them they are always a let down.i became very depressed a couple of days ago telling myself life was rubbish without them and beleiving id never be happy again, but i know that smoking wont makeit better. i beleive that you will start feeling better soon but overnight success doesnt happen overnight give it time. this part of recovery will pass and healing has its dark aspect and hides the light , but it its there out of sight for now but its there.


  • Thank you to everyone for the pep talk. The last two days were almost too much but I went to bed in the early hours and kept going over and over what I had read about COPD. I woke this morning with that same chant in my head, its day whatever and I cant smoke!

    I came on here and read your lovely replies and now my chant is its day 13 and I DONT want to smoke.

    Thank you all for your encouragement, I believe that I would have given up much sooner without you all.


    Lillie xx

  • Hello Lillie

    I just wrote you a long rambling reply and then work intervened (how dare they!) and I lost all the text because I got logged out...aaagh!! glad you're feeling a bit better.

    I KNOW you can do this.

    Take care of yourself...and try and eat something!



  • and now my chant is its day 13 and I DONT want to smoke.

    Well done Lillie im glad youve turnedit around think i'll make that my chant too


  • Hi Lillie,

    Thank you for your reply on my thread, and I'm glad you've managed to pull today around. :)

    Altogether now: "I DON'T want to smoke" :cool:

    Jen x

  • Hi Lizzie,

    So glad you are feeling better now. I had a terrible day on Day 13 and so nearly caved in, and so glad I didn't, phew!! And just think, tomorrow you will have done TWO WHOLE WEEKS and you will be so proud of yourself:D I am approaching the end of Week 4 and I am happy to say that although I do still get some cravings, I have also experienced very STRONG feelings of NOT wanting to smoke, and those feelings are awesome:D So stay strong, you know you ARE strong, because you have reached Day 13!! You CAN do this!!

    Take care Lillie,

    Zoe xx

  • Dragon, I watched the video. Heartbreaking and horrifying. It certainly keeps you on the right track.

    Thank you


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