How I lost my 12 year quit

I started smoking when I was about 14 years old. When I turned 18 I started my first attempts to stop smoking, but I never got very far. The doctor then wouldn't help much and I never managed cold turkey.

I married and we both decided to quit with the help of nic-gum, which was only available at certain chemist then. My quit was a real struggle and I was on the chewing gum for about 7 or 8 month, till I was finally ok going without it.

The myths were going around, if you haven't smoked for 7 years you are a true non-smoker (as if you never smoked in your life) and you will never be addicted to cigarettes again. I always had that in my mind and even celebrated my 7th year. All was going well , life went on, never missed it , divorce and I was still a non-smoker.

I don't know why it happened, friends were smoking roll ups , saying how healthy they are and offered one. I said no, and after being asked 3 or 4 times I thought, the one wont do any harm "I am a non-smoker" ...I haven't smoked for 12 years , what can it do ..nothing! Next day I was offered some more and I took it and it carried on for a week.

I felt guilty smoking my friends tabak and bought 10 .In my mind I bought it for them, but smoked half of the packed myself ! It never stopped ... another pack of 10 and then a bigger pack, but in my mind I was a non-smoker and I could stop anytime.

I've I been struggling for years to stop again.I think I can do it now and if anyone offers me a cigarette and tells me its the healthy variaty , I will poor a bucket of water over them eheheh( just kidding) .

How did the first cigarette taste after 12 years ? ...utter rubbish , it didn't do anything for me, just giving me the cravings for the next one and another one and one more... Don't believe the 7years myth ;)

Not sure if that helps anyone !

3 Replies

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  • Hi dorset,

    Thanks for sharing this, it still seems so strange that it can get you hooked after so many years without.

    What I still don't understand is the people who can try smoking for a week, and not become addicted - both my parents and my boyfriend have admitted to doing this when they were younger. I wonder if there's a predisposition to it - maybe the nicotine just didn't affect them much?

    I guess I'll have to file the 'just one cig' curiosity in the same place as 'I wonder what heroin feels like' and 'tell the bosses what I actually think' :D

  • Thanks for sharing your experience Dorset.

    It was really interesting what you said about what the cigarette tasted like. Someone on here has the quote in their signature that the fantasy of a smoke is much nicer than the reality will ever be.

    I know I live with the fantasy of how good it would be to be able to smoke, but only when I wanted to. Problem is that I would want to smoke all the time! It's good to reinforce this message as we can get complacent and think we've beaten the nicotine.

    Thanks again for the post, it's good food for thought for us curious quitters, and teaches that we must never puff again if we want to stay quit!

    Pip

  • Thanks for sharing dorset, I'm really sad that you lost such a long quit. It just shows what a powerful, evil, addictive drug nicotine really is, and how easy it is to start smoking again, in all innocence, and due to peer pressure too. It's brave of you to share what happened, and a valuable lesson to us all, and I am so glad you are quit again today, I know you will make it this time:)

    that the fantasy of a smoke is much nicer than the reality will ever be.

    I still get that fantasy, but who am I kidding?? I have now gone the longest I have ever gone without smoking since I started, so if I had a cig tonight I would probably be violently sick and greener than a little green man from Mars!! And I look funny enough already so green wouldn't really do it for me. Think I might have the 'just one' idea for quite some time yet, but need to knock that one firmly on the head. Wow, this forum is strong, much more powerful than Champix, so glad I found it.

    We can all do this, and all it has to be is one day at a time, I am starting to get that now.

    Zoe

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