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[nsd_user663_24115]

Mash here A good friend committed suicide so i took up smoking whilst in France miles from anywhere . no internet no where to run too. smoking seemed at the moment the only thing. Back home now exhausted wrecked and still on the tabs and well hooked into the habit/addiction again after quitting for six wks ish. im resisting quitting again cos i think i'll be overwhelmed by grief anger sadness and all that stuff. when i smoke i seem to be one step ahead of it if i stop it will catch up... Im not gonna beat myself up for starting again its just that smoking is how im coping at the moment sooo scared to let it go. but have the wish to stop. just scared of making that first move. done it before so can do it again... Mashx......... just realizedim ruining my new pink lungs.. think i'll practice some damage limitation..

[nsd_user663_22999]

Oh Mash that's awful, I'm so sorry. How dreadful for you. Can't blame you for reaching for the fags.

You say you're concerned about being overwhelmed by grief, anger etc if you stop smoking now. Seems to me like it might be a very good thing to be overwhelmed right now and let the grief, sadness, anger etc out.

Smoking might feel like it's helping but it's not really. All the horrible stuff is still there and will still be there with or without that fag.

You did it before, you can do it again.

You have my sympathy and thoughts.

Dale

[nsd_user663_24115]

back to the drawing board

Thanks you guys. Not sure how im gonna do it ,doubt my gp will provide patches again. ive still got an inhalator and quite a few cartridges. once i stop im on aroll its getting to that initial decision, shall i shant i.back to the drawing board methinks. one hr @a time 1 challenge@a time 1 day at a time it worked so i'll work it again. ps it wasnt all bad in France, we did the garden project we'd intended to do and planted some of Eddies favourite trees {he was meant to be involved] and held a ritual for him played drums and sang round a bonfire and parteed. I was meant to get a lift back but caught a train instead, missed my connections and got lost in France with very limited French Had great fun ended up in Paris for my first time looking like a vagrant and smelling of meadows and woodsmoke. loved it..Onwards and upwards. great to be back on here missed u all.....Mashx

[nsd_user663_23651]

Oh Mash so sorry to hear your bad news. I am sure you'll quit when you're ready.

Take care. Maria. x

[nsd_user663_24115]

I want my life back.

first thing tomorrow will speak to smoking cessation '' helen'' , im sure she'll help. anyway im getting fed up of smoking already its getting in my way and taking up loads of time

[nsd_user663_25209]

So sorry to hear about your friend. You've done really well but if smoking has helped you during this terribly sad time then dont feel guilty.

I hope things work out for you and your quit. Take care xx

[nsd_user663_26699]

Hi Mash. Sorry to hear about all this. For sure it's a terrible blow, and I can only wish you all the best for a speedy recovery from the trauma and good luck with getting back to quitting the fags.

Alex.

[nsd_user663_27465]

I believe in you

Hello Mash, I can only imagine how you're feeling. I'm so sorry. I can appreciate you've been better. I know you'll feel better in time and hope that time comes soon for you.

We dont know each other. I've never read your posts before. I'm only on day one. Still, I wanted you to know that I read your recent post and I believe in you. I believe you can stop smoking when ever you are ready. And you'll find a way. Take your time. Let us know when your ready. We'll all be here for you.