Help

:(

I nearly caved this afternoon.

I just wanted to get out of work, get away from everybody!

I had the biggest crave I think I have ever had, reduced me to a complete mess!

It didn't just last for 10 minutes like most people say it must have lasted for 2 hours! :eek:

I couldn't get my head off the weed. My mind was running wild .... "have a smoke, have a smoke, have a smoke" constantly round and round.

I very nearly cracked under the pressure. Really quite upsetting.

I honestly thought after a brilliant weekend and being on such a high this morning that I had it cracked. I could see myself as a non smoker in the future and was over the moon....until it hit! :(

Does anybody else have craves as bad as this?

I was fully believing that I am different and I can't do this.

Sorry about this rambling peeps but I so need advice as I want this so much.

Thank you so much for your time

Take care

Greg.

x

31 Replies

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  • It is still very early days yet and I know they can be awful when they hit you like that but believe me that does not last if it did no one would be able to quit would they? You need to put that behind you and be proud you didnt give in because the good times are just round the corner times when smoking is a distant memory and the craves are all gone. Times when you have your freedom back and you can do things and go places without worrying if you can smoke. You will smell better feel better about yourself your self esteem will improve and you will look better and be healthier, Onwards and upwards and dont look back keep going and posting on here and reading everything you can try Allen Carr his book really helped me. Do anything but dont smoke!

  • Greg... well done for standing firm through that, that took some ... good on ya...Im on day 22 and I get the odd ones that catches me off guard its the last bits that try to break you, .but the longer you go the less powerful they are ...Like Haze said they dont last and if quitting was as bad as that no one would make it and be happy and healthy.:)

    Keep at it- keep strong..Ive been lucky the odd nasty ones I'e had i have been at home so I jump up, run on the spot, jump up and down..star jumps..anything to get the blood pumping faster to make it go away quicker..Try it... it may work for you too

    You are doing great, :D

  • Greg...I had something similar yesterday...admittedly does not sound as bad as what you are going through....caused an issue at home...but I am through it now, and feel much better...think how amazing you will have done by beating this low period...a big negative becomes a massive positive...stay strong man.

  • Greg,

    You nearly, but you didn't. I'm relatively new here and Im not sure I'm confident enought to give good advice.

    I would say, read, read, education and read more. Some of the threads from the folks on here are so helpful and inspirational and if you browse you'll be sure to find posts that you can relate to and more importantly help you. Also check out Joel Spitzer, again real life stories, some heart breaking.

    This will certainly keep your mind occupied and hopefully the cravings.

    We,re all unique, different strokes for different folks, so only you know what will work for you. Please don't give in to cravings, and remember there's not such thing as one cigarette, they come in packets!

    You can do this!

    Fi x

  • Keep with it, Greg. Some days are like that and unfortunately it won't be your last...not saying that to make you feel bad, just being honest so that you are prepared to deal with them.

    You did today - well done. Now you know you can do it even when it really tries to get the better of you - keep that thought in mind when the crave comes again.

    I found it helpful to wake up every day and say, 'I'm not going to smoke today'. I knew I could do one day so...

    I also wrote a list of why I wanted to be an ex-smoker and kept it with me to look at when I had moments like you did today. Yes, that list got cellotaped back together a few times, but at the top was, 'baby'...I'm now 5 months pregnant and hit a year of not smoking yesterday :)

    Keep with it! Keep focussed! Keep coming on here!

  • Thank you all for your advice and support peeps, it is very much appreciated.

    Well, I certainly had a bad day yesterday, that's for sure.

    But I did not smoke.

    Today I woke up feeling a little better, even after not the best nights sleep.

    Been thinking back to Allen Carrs book a lot.

    I watched a short clip on nicotine addiction last night, as I love to be ****ytical, which is essentially the same to Allen's thinking but perhaps a little more biological? .. the speaker was explaining that you are not addicted to cigarettes, you are addicted to your bodies unconscious conditioned response to nicotine.

    You practiced so hard to start smoking that you actually got good at it! After your first nearly choked you and made you feel sick you kept putting it in your system...every time you put that cigarette in your mouth your brain released endorphins as it said "if this guy is going to keep poisoning me I'm gonna make sure we feel good about it in order to be able to bear it and survive!".

    It probably even got to the point that before you even lit the cigarette you brain was already releasing endorphins.

    This is the feeling you have become addicted to, this is why you smoke more and more, to recover from the nicotine withdrawal symptoms from your last smoke, to get more endorphins.

    All the same as Allen Carr I know but I don't recall him mentioning the endorphin bit! :)

    This sort of helps Allen's work twig a little more me!...

    So this morning, so far I am Cold Turkey! :eek:

    Thinking of all these words, its just a biological process!, just like a squeezing a spot!

    Now I feel very strange though!

    "Spiritually" I feel really quite good but physically I feel very weird!

    Tingling, tired, a bit under the flu/cold, can't concentrate (but don't need or even want a smoke to change this!) and most of all I feel absolutely drunk!

    I mean, like I'm on my 6th pint...this is odd!

    It feels actually quite nice, in a weird sort of way!! It's almost bordering on pleasurable!!

    I take it this is what nicotine withdrawl feels like on coldy turkey!

    If thats the case then ... bring it on! Maybe, just maybe I can handle it!

    Maybe I can get better! :cool:

    I may need my inhaler today ..... I may not .... let's see what the day brings!

    Sorry for ranting folks, this is all just a bit wierd!

    Take care

    Greg

  • Hey,

    Well done on getting this far and it seems like your learning lots which I think really helps most people (it def. did me!)

    When i went cold turkey, I got Dizzy, and felt bunged up like a cold, so what you're feeling is definatley normal. Generally only lasts a couple of days and then you start to feel more normal again...

    Good luck, just keep going a day at a time, you're doing good!

  • Nifty, sorry it's been a bit bumpy for you. I do remember how that feels, oh yes :(

    All I can say if that you were to pick someone who qualifies as a 'long term' quitter - any of us - and go back and read their early posts, you'd see the same kind of days clobbered all of us in the early weeks! There'd be positive 'I'm really cracking this' posts and 'bloody hell what a dreadful day' posts, cheek by jowl.

    But I can guarantee you that if you stick with it, the path smooths out, and the bad days become fewer and fewer, and easier and easier to cope with, until they disappear altogether.

    I too thought 'maybe everyone else is just made of sterner stuff than me' at some low points. But it's not true. We ALL have the capacity to do this thing, it just takes a little determination and the will to succeed.

    Keep on keeping on!

    Helen

  • Nifty.

    Have been looking for your post. You,ve only gone and done it. You got through that stushie! Well done!!

    Fi x

  • Nifty. All that you describe is soooooo normal and familiar to all of us who've been there and come out the other side. The early stages are nuts. Mental. Exciting and terrifying all at once. Best advice I can ever give is to accept it all. Dont fight. Allow it to wash all over you and do its worse. invite it to. I promise. Pretty soon you'll be thinking.....is that it? Nicotine you whimp....Is that all you've got? When you feel almost beaten like you did yesterday........best tip is to breath long and slow. In deep and slow......and out long and slow letting it all calmy blow away. Really concentrate on this. It works. Honestly. Well done yesterday. One other point I would make is that often......days like that make us so much stronger. After all....if you survived that then thats about as bad as its ever going to get. Hang in there. Relax. Keep on. You are getting there.

  • I hate to say it, but even after 12 months the cravings are there. You just need to be mentally strong and fight through them. Be prepared for an epic battle.

  • I hate to say it, but even after 12 months the cravings are there. You just need to be mentally strong and fight through them. Be prepared for an epic battle.

    Teleguy. I've no doubt that this is how it has been for you (eek).....but just to add a bit of balance.......and before Nifty goes running off to the nearest fag shop in terror.........I would have to say this is NOT how its been for me......or for many others. Nifty. If I were ever to have described my quit as an 'epic battle'. Its a description that would have applied only to the first week or so. After that.....the whole thing can actually get a bit boring.........and nothingy, apart from a few unexpected half-cravings that we need NOT to be caught out by. Honestly. You couldnt pay me to have a fag now. So. Whilst it may be an epic battle for you. Stay calm. It also may not. The way you felt the other day (need a smoke, need a smoke, need a smoke) is not the way you are going to feel for ever. I promise.

  • :) Thank you Dippy

    Now at 48 hours Cold Turkey!

    Your words are helping me a lot! ....

    I do have a bit of a craving this morning, sitting at my desk in work typing this, but I don't know why I have it???

    I honestly don't!!!....I think it's just chemically automatic....I'm hoping I can ignore it as time goes on and the volume will get turned down! :)

    I'm off work for 5 days from today so might just stay in bed.

    Dippy, you never did tell me what your bike was?

    Goooo onnnnn! :)

  • Fair play to you nifty- keep going :)

    Mel :)

  • I hate to say it, but even after 12 months the cravings are there. You just need to be mentally strong and fight through them. Be prepared for an epic battle.

    Nooooooooooo I nearly hyperventilated then :eek: was hopi9ng by then it would be a piece of cake as im Im now hitting my 3-4 week struggle

    Thank you Dippy Egg I feel I can breath a sigh of relief

  • Nice one Dippy Egg, and thank you.

    If found teleguy's posting really disheartening, the last thing I need right now.

    Your post was lovely and cheered me up no end!

    Thanks once again

    Biggrin

  • Nifty - I don't know why I have cravings either!

    I like to think I have a mind of my own, and would rather not examine how it is that random loony cravings can temporarily appear, and seem to take over! They can't keep control though. Sooner or later they have to slip away again into nothing.

    You're doing great, well done.

    Biggrin

  • Peeps, don't any of you be put off by the idea that you still have to struggle at a year quit. It may be true for Teleguy and if it is I sincerely hope he reaches the end of his struggle soon. But he really is in a minority. Check out the 1 year + posts and you will see!

    When you're really a long way into your quit, you can still have thoughts about smoking, I won't deny that. Now and then you'll encounter a situation where you would once have been chaining them, and it will cross your mind. Sometimes there'll be a sort of false-memory reaction in your brain and you'll think 'ooh, a fag'. But this a) is NOTHING LIKE the craves you get at the beginning, it's painless and b) is EASILY beatable and can be brushed aside in moments. You just think 'yeah, but I wouldn't' and before you know it the thought is gone. You can go weeks and weeks, months even, without even those fleeting pangs. It's EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY, I promise you, as long as you don't ever think complacently.

    Besides, your whole attitude to smoking changes as the time goes by. I did 'miss it' for some time, but as I worked through all those old associations, things changed. My whole relationship to smoking changed. At the beginning I paid lipservice to the whole 'it does me no good to smoke' idea, but over time the truth that it had done NOTHING to enhance my life in any way really dawned on me. The thought of inhaling smoke now is just horrendous, you couldn't pay me to do it. So any thought like that which might pop into my head... well, it's just meaningless.

    Keep strong through these early days and weeks. You can do it. And the future is bright!!

    Helen x

  • hi there are you going cold turkey they could be a problem there for you or if your doing nrt maybe its the wrong package for you,everybody has different ways of quitting as i tried so many ways and so far so good im on the right track,stay strong drink water it really helps trust me it does,a good pint of water and 5 mins later you really will feel great,dont cave in as if you do start you will only want to quit again down the line as something inside you keeps wanting to quit and you will be back to day on,take a day at a time and if a craving hits let it attack and show yourself you can beat the weed,good luck.

  • Thanks all

    I'm trying to let these cravings wash over me, trying to enjoy them!! If that is even remotely possible!

    I'm not thinking straight, cannot stop thinking about smoking every second ... and yet I know I really do not want to smoke!

    I haven't touched my inhaler since 10.30 Monday as I know it's the nicotine that is doing this to me! I'm craving nicotine I know, not smoking!

    The thought now of inhaling smoke is frightening!!

    I really don't want to do it!! I mean that honestly!

    I'm studying myself soooo deeply to try and understand these feelings I am having!!

    Something suconsciously it screaming out for "something" (obviously nicotine) but so far I haven't even put my inhaler to my mouth.

    I now sort of feel that going to the inhaler would be a failure! Which is maybe silly but it's the nicotine that needs to be gone! Can't treat a nicotine addict with nicotine ..... can we??!

    Sorry for the ramblings folks,

    My head is up my a**e!!! :)

    hehehe

    That's another point, sometimes feel like I could burst out laughing for absolutely no reason!! Like bottling in a chortle! :D

    Maybe just a nerves thing!

    This whole experience is reminding me of Trainspotting!!

    Take care peeps

    Greg

  • I'm very glad I managed to cheer some of you up a bit. Simply couldnt leave for work whilst Teleguys's post was hanging in the air to frighten all you lovelies.

    Nifty. My bike is arguably the loveliest in England, but I'd have to be honest and say that I suspect you wouldnt be impressed with it. Its very much a lovely, ladies, city bike. The sort I can step neatly on to without having to do that leg swing over the back thing (not that I cant do that should I want to :)) I'm guessing that since you went to Kendal for your bike and are having to wait weeks for it to arrive........your new bike is a really sporty, serious cycling, kind of affair. The sort of bike that would scare MY bike :D So....in my minds eye.......Nifty will in no time at all be cycling to Keswick and back......whilst Dippy will still mainly be whizzing around town just here and there stuff with an odd spin out to Dalston and back. I should add. I dont go ANYWHERE without my bike. I bet you've walked past it chained up on English Street a million times. Heh heh. I love it.

    Back to matters fag. God I remember so well all that you are describing. I felt like I was turning into the mad woman locked in the attic with lunatic eyes and shabby hair.........or into a wild beast climbing chimney pots, beating my chest and roaring. Its all VERY unsettling for a time. :) I'm so pleased to read you are trying to enjoy it. That sounds such a perverse idea but thats exactly what I did too. Like a free piss-up...... only madder. You'd go down a treat in Botch. I'm convinced it works in an 'if you can't beat it join it' kind of way. I'm also pleased that you are now going cold turkey. I think, from what you were saying, you are right to.....and remember......all that you are feeling is positive. It is you getting free from the demon.

    Have a great night all.

  • I feel a real failure :(

    Hi Dippy

    That post had me and my wife in tears of laughter!

    Absolutely brilliant!

    It may be a sporty serious cycling bike that I'm getting but it no way will the rider be using it in a sporty serious cycling kind of way! :D (as he isn't good enough to be sporty, or serious..........)

    I really can't wait to get it next month. Am I allowed to post a picture of it? :)

    Anyway, I really do feel a bit of a failure tonight. I was about to hit 48 hours cold turkey at 10.30 tonight (I was so mixed up in my earlier post today I though I had already hit 48 hours!!) but I HIT A WALL!

    I really couldn't take anymore!

    Everything was getting on top of me, everything seemed to be crashing down and closing in.

    I haven't started smoking and I know I will never suck smoke down my lungs again BUT I HAVE used my inhaler again :(

    I felt I had to.

    I have realized that at the moment I am not ready to go CT and I also realize how seriously addicted to nicotine I must be.

    Really, REALLY scary!

    I felt such a let down to me, to my wife and to all of you on here.

    I am sorry.

    I think I need to get a timed plan in my head to use NRT and also think that I may need to seek some professional help in the near future when I begin to come off the inhaler again....

    I feel quite upset and a bit numb at the moment.

    Hope everybody is still doing well with their quit

    Take care

    Greg

  • NIFTY!!!! Stop beating yourself up!!!! You have no need to apologise for anything, to anyone.

    For heaven's sake, you haven't smoked. Right now that is ALL that matters. Period.

    Although you worry about your addiction to nicotene, and to an extent rightly so, I don't think you need to be as awed by it as you are. Nicotene is part of it, sure, but the main part of the quit is psychological - it's about breaking those associations, sticking to your guns, overcoming a long-ingrained habit. I wonder how much of the experiences you were having today were about needing nicotene and how much was about your brain firing off prompt after prompt to smoke, and you not knowing quite how to deal with it. I'm not saying nic had nothing to do with it, just that it's a complex thing, this quitting lark, and the symptoms can often be more psychological than physiological.

    I liken the CT/NRT thing to going into a chilly sea. We're all swimming to freedom. Some people just think sod it, hurl themselves into the water, and start swimming. It's a bastard shock to their system, but it's over pretty quickly. Others are more cautious and go in slowly, dipping their hands into the water, going in bit by bit. These are the NRT-ers. Either way, the objective is to get swimming. As long as you end up in that water it doesn't matter a rats arse how you got there. So suck on that inhaler if it helps, jumping straight in isn't for everyone!

    Stop thinking of yourself as a failure. Stop it. You hear me? You are succeeding, and rather marvellously well too. Hold your head up high and be PROUD of yourself.

    Helen

  • Pick that chin up off the floor right now! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Far from it. There are many ways to stop smoking......cold turkey is just one of them. You MUST....and are........doing what is right for you to keep off the fags. You are doing great. I would say....keep that inhaler right there in your handiest pocket for as long as you need to. Plenty of fabulous, succesful quitters on here began the same way. Read around and you'll see. Dont be so hard on yourself. Now, more than ever, you must be kind and good to yourself.

    Lets see the bike then. :) I'm sure its allowed coz I did link to mine ages ago in my excited bike thread.

  • NIFTY!!!! Stop beating yourself up!!!! You have no need to apologise for anything, to anyone.

    Stop thinking of yourself as a failure. Stop it. You hear me? You are succeeding, and rather marvellously well too. Hold your head up high and be PROUD of yourself.

    Helen

    And so say all of us :)

  • Strewth Nifty, Helsbelles and Dippy are spot on, you are being too hard on yourself. Two positive things have come out of this. One is that you now have the the experience of two days of intense cravings, the other is that you didn't light up. So, well done !!!

    As far as the nicotine is concerned, you have the option of gradually cutting down the use of the inhaler. Helsbelles' ****ogy puts it well. That way, once you finally go CT, it won't be so intense.

    Anyhow, you are still well and truely on course. Keep up the good work.:)

    Biggrin

  • Nifty,

    Ditto what Helen and Dippy have said. (We are very lucky to have them on this Forum) they always great advice.

    Fi x

  • Niffty, must be something in the water today... I had a really pants day today - my worst ever... well probably not but it felt like it for a few hrs anyway lol..

    You are doing great, you have not let anyone down there is no shame at all with a little help from NRT - I still have my lozenges and now I just snap them in half so only having half the dose... plus makes them go further too saves the pennies in my purse :D you do it however you feel you need to do so

    yes Dippy... you saved us infant quitters from total hysteria - so thank you ...x

  • Thank you all so much for a slap in the face and a warm hug! :)

    I think I knocked myself for 6 (psychologically) by trying to get off the NRT so quickly.

    I'm the kind of person that wants to get things sorted right away but I suppose I can't stop a 25 year addiction and habit in 5 days!

    DOH!

    I felt so good after the weekend that I thought it was going to be a walk in the park!...

    I'm going to stick with the NRT, keep reading and learning on here, listen to my elders (no offence! :) ) and betters and try to get this thing sorted ... slowly, surely and once and for all.

    Thank you all again,

    Today is a new day so lets grab it by the short and curlies!! :D

    Love Nifty

    x

    :D

  • Hi Greg

    Yes, i have had that feeling twice in the last 6 days. Yesterday i felt great, today i feel horrible.

    Couldn't stop thinking about having a cigarette, bought a Elite cigarette helps a little, takes the edge off.

    I just keep reminding myself of the harm its doing to my body and how much it stinks.

    Keep going:)

  • You can do it!

    I'm on day 12 and having a (controlled) wobble.

    Whatever method you are using, please focus on your reasons.

    I'm trying to associate it to learning to ride a bike.

    At first, it is really difficult. You worry abou falling off, you need help and then worry about going on your own.

    Then, you start to manage it. Lots of wobbles! But there is a determination to master the skill.

    Following this, you can ride, but always slighty conscious that this is a new skill.

    Finally, you just do it! No thought really required. It is second nature.

    No doubt, there are physical symptoms, but managing the mind is so important too.

    You dont need luck. You can do it. X

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