Advice

It's been a while since I've really posted and unfortunately this isn't a particularly pleasant post. Last Thursday I had 2 cigarettes. I was drunk - yes, and it was silly but I can't blame either of these things because it's something I wanted to 'try' for such a long time.

The main reason why I'm posting is because I need advice from the oldies. You see - now more than ever - I am determined in my quit. What's more, I haven't even had a craving since Thursday (also probably because I spent Friday and Saturday feeling 'poisoned'). I had a drunk fight with my boyfriend on Saturday night and the thought of having a fag hadn't even crossed my mind.

Could it be that by having a couple I've realised that there's nothing 'magical' about it? That it's finally hit home that all I've done is put it up on a pedestal for the last few months?

By the way... in case any of you were wondering... the first one tasted like absolute heaven... then I had a second to get that 'feeling' back again and that second one made me feel slightly sick with none of the 'heavenly-ness'. This is around the point when I realised that the way the 1st one had made me feel was actually tingly, short of breath and slightly dizzy- who in their right mind would enjoy that?!! It's when I was considering having a third (even though I knew for a fact I would feel sick) that I realised I didn't want to be chasing that 'feeling' 20 times a day for the rest of my life.

So anyway, I know how I feel in my quit and I know it's a blip... but do some of the oldies have advice to offer in terms of why I feel so much more certain of my quit now? Or whether this might just be a false sense of security...?

Thanks, and sorry if anyone feels let down... I'm just going to go on with my quit as intended and not forget how easily the cycle can begin once relapses occur.

9 Replies

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  • Hi Sophia,

    I wouldnt condider myself an old timer, nor have i have a blip, so not sure my words are of any use to be honest, but still wanted to try and give you my advice.

    I guess its like having something that you have wanted for so so long...and then it turns out to be a disappointment. You build it up in your head to be a wonderful thing, but once you actually get it, you realise its not as good as you thought it was? Does that make any sense?

    Maybe you have smoke, therefore had the 'forbidden fruit' and now know its not your cup of tea and you are 110% certain that quitting is the right thing to do?

    Hope that helps?

  • Oh cobblers ..... just 'refreshed' instead of 'send' and lost my post :(

    I totally get it when you say you feel stronger and better resolved with your quit, Sophia :)

    I had a half rollie blip at around 9 months. Yes, I was drunk too and the following day the feeling of having 'poisoned' my system was worse, far worse than the hangover. I'd also spent some time 'wondering' if I could just have the one and stay in control. That little try-out whilst under the influence helped reinforce my quit :)

    Doesn't work for everyone and I don't recommend it but it did put some ghosts to rest once and for all. I'm now over 18 months and have not once been tempted again since that blip.

    It sounds like you've learnt a lot from it .... the main thing being your an ex smoker :)

  • Thank you both for your replies :) (double thanks for reposting to you Pol!)

    Claire- Yes, I think it was a bit like I had to know for sure 110% I wouldn't go back... The wierd thing was that it wasn't a disappointment at all, I was surprised by how average the whole experience was - but if I was still a smoker it would have been amazing I think! I guess I just stopped seeing what all the big fuss was about.

    Pol - good to know that other people have felt that (almost) sense of serenity and security after a blip. I think I should be vigilant just in case but other than that I'm really feeling like an ex-smoker :) and yes, cigarette hangover is just sooo much worse than booze hangover!

  • Could it be that by having a couple I've realised that there's nothing 'magical' about it? That it's finally hit home that all I've done is put it up on a pedestal for the last few months?

    Romancing the memory of a smoke! Pretty much what I did :) Also I wanted to test myself and prove that NOPE didn't apply to me.

    Pol - good to know that other people have felt that (almost) sense of serenity and security after a blip. I think I should be vigilant just in case but other than that I'm really feeling like an ex-smoker :) and yes, cigarette hangover is just sooo much worse than booze hangover!

    The first few inhales of that rollie were wonderful, it really was like embracing a long lost friend .... then my sensible voice piped up and I ground the rest under foot. The next day saw me throw up, have the shakes and go back to bed. A standard hang over would not have done that.

  • Hi Sofia

    I totally agree with Claire and Pol. I had my own 'blip' on Friday, and I know now, that I'll never smoke again. I too was drunk, and had been thinking about smoking for a few days (but only when I'd had a few). It got to the point when I had to have one (well 3, I think :o). It was foul, but I was that drunk I did have more than one. I was violently sick, and my throat is only just beginning to feel better. I haven't thrown up through drinking in years, so it must have been the fags. Mind you, I did drink enough to sink a ship :eek:

    Thing is though, I woke up on Saturday and knew I'd never have another one, ever. Maybe we just needed to get it out of our systems, or there's something in the water :rolleyes:. Hope you're doing ok now.

    Rachel xx

  • Pol - I think that's what surprised me... that NOPE hasn't applied in this case!

    Rachel, thanks for sharing your experience with me... I was even thinking about smoking while sober! so like you say, I just had to do it, get the t-shirt and then just not consider it ever again! That's what's great... in the past 7 months I haven't been able to say to myself 'I will never smoke again'... but suddenly after my blip I feel confident about 'never again' and it feels great :)

    Mind you, my throat doesn't feel greeat either... !

    lol - hope that silly person putting stuff in the water stops it now!

  • Sorry but i always say never say never .You never know what is around the corner. We all do our quite in diff ways . I think whatever you are happy with .If you had to try 2 cigs and it has made you feel like you will never smoke again that is good .

    I could not do that because im an addict to the cig so 1 would lead to another and another . we are all different .

    And yes agree with you claire I dont see myself as an old timer either. just one day at a time for me .

  • That's true... and you are right about the old saying... I do believe in never saying never so maybe I expressed myself wrongly. but I also believe in resolve and after those 2 seem to have a lot more resolve to get on with my quit then ever before.

  • Hi Sofia

    Sorry to hear about you blip.

    If it helps I do believe that people get curious after 6 months, some try and restart, others have a close shave.

    M

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