Stupid day 4.
I hate that i both want to smoke and dont want to. I basically want to but i dont want all the crappy guilt and health issues.
If i smoked i'd be annoyed that i lost my quit, i'll be annoyed that i'm back to square 1 with regards to my fitness, i'll feel annoyed and guilty about the money i spent and i'll feel stupid cos CLEARLY it's the stupid choice. I'd have to quit again and go through the ever crappy day 2 again :mad:
And yet - i miss my routines, i dont like not being "allowed" to do whatever i want (and yes i know no-one is stopping me). I'm bored of it always being in my brain and the back and forth and the niggles. I know the only way to get past this is to wait it out. Did have one nice moment today on the way back from a picnic lunch where i realised i hadnt thought about smoking all lunch time.
Bored of being irritable though
Rant over - i know it's not very constructive of logically laid out, but needed to get it out of my brain.