Wasn't sure whether to post today or not but here goes !
Have had a really bad few days, feeling really low. Everything coming out of my mouth was like something out of the excorcist - vile I have been. I have been short with everyone, argumentative, down - you name it. Due to not smoking, who the hell knows, I certainly havent felt like having one until today.
My Darling Husband, with nowhere else to turn, came on here for advice this morning. That was the final straw for me and the excuse I needed to stomp to the shops. Bought a pack of 10 (not my brand) and a lighter, stood in a side street like a loser and lit one. OMG wake up call it was vile, my throat hurt immediately and the smell:eek: I stubbed it out straight away, screwed up the remaining 9 and chucked them in the bin with my lighter. Spent the next couple of hours in tears (am now actually) for being so bloody stupid.
Going to have to shake myself out of this because two things are for sure I want to keep my marriage and I certainly do not want to smoke every again.
Sorry for the ramble but couldnt keep this to myself, have to work on my frame of mind and get some postivity back.
My best mate is a smoker at work and we have drifted apart since I quit. My Mum also smokes and I cant confide in her, I dont want her to think it is remotely difficult because she will never try herself. My other bestie has issues of her own so perhaps just feeling a little alone right now
Thank you Dale and Mod 2 for your private messages, much appreciated