I'm posting today even though it isn't an obvious marker (111 days, 16 weeks tomorrow at 6.pm) as I'm having a challenging week in many respects. My paid workload is going through the roof, I've taken on an 'online personal trainer' - based in Arizona; I live in UK - and am aching from head to foot. I'm feeling a bit despondent with my running programme and I have made too many evening social arrangements, and they continue over the weekend. On top of that my father's and my partner's father's demise in recent months is strong in my mind the last couple of days. I'm also finding it a bit of a strain whizzing up to Yorkshire for a three day visit each month to visit my mother. I've had a couple of hospital appointments to attend this week and my school governor duties come along in flurries; the flurry started this week through into next. Lurking behind all this is a desire to smoke. I'm telling myself I just want some time out and having a cigarette (although I truly know it would not be just one) would do the trick.
The message in the paragraph above is shouting to me loud and clear: I need to ease up on myself or something will crack. Next week is much calmer in commitments, but it just goes to show that buckling with pressure - albeit much of it self-generated - creates a vulnerability within me that's unwelcome.
Blah. I need to learn the lesson and get on with it. Just feeling a bit :(:eek:​.