Whats wrong with me !.

[nsd_user663_4337]

Hi i feel a total failure , i got to day 13 and caved in.

My Husband has been off all week and what a nightmare. sitting here day after day watching him roll up then go outside,smelling it on him as he brushed by me even repulsed me. (i do love him ). every ten minutes it felt he was having a cig break.i could handle it when he was at work as i would keep busy in the evenings. now i just feel like i cant handle being around him and i feel awful .i have asked him to quit with me so many times but he wont even consider it.and i know he has to want it. i have to quit as my breathing is terrible and i have watched my aunt who was 59 and nan die of emphysema so why can`t i feel strong enough to just do it and not look back.

when i am on a quit, it s so lonely each week seems like a year. i just seem to lock myself away.

I have felt so grumpy and now feel worse for being so weak today and all my hard work has gone to waste. so back at day one tomorrow...sorry for ranting on

ali x

[nsd_user663_8676]

There is nothing wrong

Hi Ali

Do not beat yourself up - you are fighting an addiction and it is hard. The most important thing is that you have been true to yourself, you have posted on here and you are prepared to give it another go. You are not using your hubby as an excuse to not try again.

Are you using anything to aid or quit and are you visiting your nurse or clinic? I found the more help I could get the better. You will get there - I smoked for over 30 years and was up to 30 a day some days. I never believed I could do it when I started my quit and I still can't believe I actually did it.:eek:

You WILL get there Ali. Stay strong and keep posting.

[nsd_user663_22968]

Sorry to hear that Ali, hope it goes well for you.

It is hard, my husband smokes and I hated him at some points early on. I felt jealous of him going outside for a smoke. I hate the smell. I have never asked him to give up as I know he won't, he just isn't ready to.

Now I don't feel anything when he goes outside except pity! Stood out there in all weathers just to get his fix.

It will and does get easier, much of what you have said I felt at the start. I felt distant from everything and everyone. It can't have helped seeing your husband smoking all week. I know to start with my husband cut down loads as he was making an effort not to smoke around me but he now seems to be outside more than he is inside!

[nsd_user663_24042]

Good luck for today then! This is your new Day 1. You can do it this time. I've quit loads of times in the past but this time I feel more positive and focused. The previous times were almost doomed to fail before they even started.

I can do it and you can do it!!

[nsd_user663_4337]

Hi steph, chrissie,juliee,craig.

Thankyou for all replys,i have not been online today as needed to get my head clear and focused right for tomorrow which will be my "day one" and i am so determined this time to be strong and not give in .i am not putting my quit of just had to be sure and recharged for tomorrow .

Steph - I am using mini lozenges and added help of inhalator when desparate, did start of last quit with patches and mini tabs but stopped the patches few days into quit as thought i did not need them both.dont feel brave enough for ct just yet.

Chrissis- Sometimes i feel like my husband does not want me to stop smoking its like he is waiting for me to fail.... and i do... but not this time. prepared to go to hell and back now , looking forward to my ride.

Craig-Thanks walking is one thing i will do more of. and have stocked up on those strong mints.

Hope you all come and visit me in day 1 .....tomorr.

ali xxx

[nsd_user663_20591]

quitting smoking is very very hard...dont beat yourself up. this is my 3rd time trying to quit..i smoked for 18 years and im only 32...i hope im done this time for good...i have to much to live for and so do you hun!! keep that in mind..its life or death most times so choose life and get back on that wagon..remember that you are not alone..we are all on the wagon with you and we will make room for ya