Seriously...what the hell is wrong with me?

I am so embarssed to say I got drunk and smoked again on Monday night :mad::mad:

I am going to have to stop drinking when I am out, there is no other option for me - I have no self control at all! I feel horrible today, hungover and feel like I ate a cigarette and drank ash water :(

Without wine and cigarettes I don't even know who I will be on a evening out...its so sad... it has occurred to me that I really relied on both of these to get through the stress of so******ing as an awkward teen and apparently have never grown up!!

This should be my day 21 but I have smoked on 4 of these days now!! I really feel like I have a handle over this while I am sober thanks to the great advice on this website...but while drunk my brain packs its bags and leaves me alone with my lack of common sense.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH

11 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I'm sorry to hear your having a tough time with trying to remain quit of the smokes whilst enjoying (maybe a little to much to soon) a drink or so.

    Yes, if having a drink escalates to the point of loosing your focus and will to not smoke then keeping away from that should help.

    Ain't life a bitch though when we have to knock on the head all the things we 'feel' we're needing to either relax or enjoy with...... and the knock on effect is to smoke.

    Some folk are able to stop the smokes and still drink with no problem. Others need to abstain from all triggers and that included drinking, certain friends and some places.

    Keep working at this quit....... take a step back from your own space and think from an outsider looking in ...... you'll find your place and what works for you :)

    There are ways to make a quit work and work for you ....... you just got to find yours :)

  • If someone told me this time last year that i'd be a 'non smoker or drinker' i would have said NOOOOOOO WAY! But yes way :cool: i used to smoke n drink and what a great combo 'to feel like crap.' seriously though it's like a miracle, i can go out now and not drink or smoke and have a much much better time, i know what is going on around me while watching everybody get more and more drunk and say more and more stupid things i feel quite smug and i get to talk to people with nice white teeth and fresh breath. ;) If i can do it you can, trust me i'm a right little devil but i couldn't be happier lol. It's also great to wake up in the morning and feel good rather than the 'oh no' feeling.

  • Oh that's what I want...is it really possible?

    Thank you for your posts. I know it doesn't look like I am doing very well but without this site I would have reverted to being a smoker by now and I just cannot let that happen - I hate smoking, I hated being a smoker, I don't even want to be drinking to the point I am making bad decisions anyway.

    I have had a glass of wine today with my parents so I cannot count today as a no drinking day, but will start tomorrow...tomorrow will be day 22 of the smoking quit and day 1 of the drinking quit.

  • Feelin' for you Zena...especially how you did so well over the w/end at the wedding party. Well, there was the issue about disappearing to get some space...but good intervention tactic ;)

    Reading your post I get the impression that you're possibly dissapointed in yourself. Don't be...it's just adding to the stress of it all. Neither have you let us or anyone down.

    Get yourself into a comfortable place and think about what it is you really want. If it is to stop smoking then you have the best tools in front of you...this forum.

    The more you try, the more you achieve...don't give up :)

  • Oh that's what I want...is it really possible?

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Totally possible. You know, we don't always get it right first time but you are aware and you have the intention, thats brilliant so you are on the right track. Be nice to yourself and remember that only you can do this and you count!

    I love the title to your thread, i've had that thought many a time, if i could have sold my head the rest of me would live in peace lol but in the end i had gto take time out and get all the crap out of my head and that included smoking and drinking. To me life is so much better, honestly!!! try it and see, you can always change your mind!

    'One day at a time.' :)

  • I have to agree with Angel, I have better nights out not drinking than when I did drink. I think you have to stop drinking until you have some control over this. You never know, you may just surprise yourself :eek:

  • So just to clarify, do you both not drink at all ever!

    I am feeling really positive about not drinking which is making feel less vulnerable about the smoking already. When I really think about it I am not getting anything positive from the drinking apart from that relaxing feeling of a glass of wine but that always leads to loss of awareness and more often than not smoking.

    Oh well we will see how it goes, if this doesn't work than its AA for me!

  • Hi Zena sorry to hear you have had another bad day, and I have to agree with the other ladies and say that I also know when we go out that I now have numerous tomato juices and steer clear of alcohol, I sometimes have a glass of wine at home but that doesn’t seem to have the same effect, I have never been a big drinker so I’m lucky that it’s not been too much of a problem and the no smoking ban in pubs helped as I hated smoking outside pub doorways so didn’t have many when I was out any way, maybe one or two, I hope that you can find the strength to jack the alcohol for a while so your resolve want be broken every time you go out, imagine the money you will save as well if you are not drinking, and yes trust me you will be surprised how much you will laugh when you are sober and all around there are drunks, sorry if that sounds a bit nasty but there is nothing as funny as a drunk who doesn’t realise how loud and off they are.

  • Drinking is a really tough one.It ended many of my quits, until I decied i had to learn to do it without smoking . Drinkling and smoking go together so well and drinking without smoking is like chips without vinegar. :(

    You can drink , but be aware it will make you crave, and then you have to deal with that crave with less willpower and sense cos of being a bit tiddly.

    Maybe not drink for a month or so until you feel safer? and then just have a few the first few times. The process of becoming a non smoker is 90 % learning how to do a lot of different things againwithout it being accompanied by a cigarette, and for most of us, drinking has probably always been accompanied by a cig- so it's a tough one to break. If it's any consolation i can now drink without much desire to smoke, after a six month quit.

  • So just to clarify, do you both not drink at all ever!

    I am feeling really positive about not drinking which is making feel less vulnerable about the smoking already. When I really think about it I am not getting anything positive from the drinking apart from that relaxing feeling of a glass of wine but that always leads to loss of awareness and more often than not smoking.

    Oh well we will see how it goes, if this doesn't work than its AA for me!

    Yep not ever!!! :eek::D I quit drinking, that was harder than smoking lol! Better off though. Seems wrong at 31 yrs of age but there you go.

  • Good Luck Z, sounds like you want to stop, before this quit I had deliberately sabotaged past quits, like deliberately seeing friends who smoked. Also the feelings about not being as much fun are linked to the fact that you are not allowing yourself to do something and the nicodemon is telling you he's not happy, which of course he does in a wheedling ruddy voice at every opportunity he gets. You need to remember you can do it and that you have/are doing it. Also for me the main tool was the thought of ever having to go through a quit again, the first week was an education and having learnt the lesson don't particularly want to repeat it. And each day after that was a day I didn't want to do again until at some point I can't remember when, my quit felt solid, it has to be cared for but I'm no longer shaky and uncertain.

    In the end I had to be really aware of how much I drank because alcohol does go hand in hand with smoking so I watched my intake and regardless of what anyone else thought I disappeared when I'd had enough or it go to much. Another excuse I used was that I had a race the following day, it worked, I'm still quit.

You may also like...