My 'not so good side' is always satisified as it has nothing to do with smoking :eek:
Yes, when i get a craving it manifests itself as if i'm missing it but that isn't true.
I don't miss the smell, taste and dependency one iota.
I never want to see, touch, or taste one ever again.
It's just my habitual subconscious raising it's ugly head every so often just to let me know he's not beaten yet and reinforcing the fact that i'll always have to be on my guard as i know he's hiding in a dark place waiting for me to make a mistake!!
dont know why but last couple of days i have felt like i need a buzz do something like
going real real fast in my car or go the wrong way round a roundabout or run a red light, all very illegal so best give those a miss
or
get blinding drunk and shout at everyone and get arrested, run up a big hill and scream my head off untill i lose my voice oh i dont know i just wanna buzz from something thats how it feels, like i have all this pent up frustration or something inside me
i could suck all the juice out of a lemon that would give me a buzz lol
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not sure if thats wat u ment but your post reminded me of this post i wrote and how i was feeling at that time
For me reading helps me through the really bad times. When I feel myself moping about cigarettes and tempted to buy some I go onto the Freedom, Quittime website and read shed loads. It works for me !
Wish I could stop clenching my teeth though, it hurts
Yeah, the missing it part is all a very clever illusion really... just read up on how not glamourous smoking really is and that part will ease up a bit.
The 'being bad' thing I totally understand! Last year within 6 months I got a job, removed my excessive ear piercings and dyed my hair a 'normal' colour (it was flame red before)... when it came to quitting I was sad to let the last 'rebellious' part of me go... but then I realised that quitting IS being a rebel... everyone will look at you like you're amazing and doing something highly dangerous and ill-advised (especially confirmed smokers) and I get a high off of that.
I also used my new found energy and started doing sport (aerobics and stuff)... it felt good but the buzz really hit when I started playing squash - the way you're pushed to the extreme both physically (not too hard for me to do actually! lol) and mentally is just exhillerating.
Sorry for my rant, but hope my point of view helped
One of the reasons I always used to give for not quitting was that smoking represented my bad side, while every other part of me was boring and well behaved. Happily married, hardly drink, responsible, blah blah blah.
So I totally know where you're coming from.
Not quite sure what advice I can give you as I still feel a little bit like that. I just have to remind myself, there's nothing great about doing something rebellious that's going to kill me. I do not belong to the 'live fast, die young' school of thought, (even though I did a bit when I actually was young). These days I rather appreciate my life, and would quite like to enjoy a good few healthy happy years. So on balance, rebel schmebel.
Actually the thing that really lets me exercise all the hidden parts of my psyche is acting. That way I legitimately get to be somebody else for a spell, and I find that incredibly therapeutic. Can release a lot of emotional energy, not to mention getting to behave in ways I never otherwise would. Unfortunately, my quit has coincided with a bit of a dry spell, acting wise, and I'm feeling rather depressed as a consequence. Not that this has anything to do with anything. Just thought I'd share.
Ugh, another post that was supposed to be a sentence or two and ended up as a stream of consciousness essay. SORRY!
Smoking was my last vice and prior to that I had a large and varied arsenal of vices (I sound proud, I'm not really, just chuffed I'm still here). I've been working on slowly dropping them all for the last 10 years or so...
With quitting smoking I felt like I was sacrificing that last little bit in me that wants to break away and 'be me'. It was that thought that kept me smoking.
But then I look at my elderly Mum who is all varied shades of brown to beige as I swear she has dyed herself permanently, I listen to her do the never ending, eye buldging, oh my gosh is she gonna breath in a minute cough and it doesn't seem that...rebellious. Just stupid.
Rebellion is a state of mind and I'm still as odd as I was before I quit the fags so it hasn't changed anything really.
There is also the fact that we are not lining the pockets of fat cat corporates and politicians anymore...and if you are one of those you haven't just helped to fund your colleagues bonus :cool:
That's more bad-ass than helping to fund your MP's/Representatives next golfing jolly if you ask me.
For me reading helps me through the really bad times. When I feel myself moping about cigarettes and tempted to buy some I go onto the Freedom, Quittime website and read shed loads. It works for me !
Wish I could stop clenching my teeth though, it hurts
Tracey
Just writing again to say - I had that and it does pass.
Honestly, you may end up with a jaw like Desperate Dan but it does pass
i'm so there! but i really don't miss all the stress and worry that smoking gave me. will one day someone invent the cigarette that doesn't do so much damage? :rolleyes: that could be an interesting day on the forum!
food is my new drug, i was never interested in it before, was always very skinny, but now i'm insatiable! no longer skinny and i just wonder where it will end!!
CamperPete - What is your not so good side satisfied doing?
boo - "get blinding drunk and shout at everyone and get arrested" your post is full of good ideas but I like this one the best. Never been arrested before so let me try something new - who's going to bail me out though?
royaldecameron - I think these forum type site should do more with pictures rather than having to read everything (lazy americans)- lol. Good luck with the teeth clenching. Actually sounds like a good idea, think I will try it.
SLB - Sounds like you didn't just quit smoking but reversed your whole life - wow and I thought just stoping smoking was bad. There was a time back in the day I was forced to cut my hair to take a position change within a company and I didn't really like that to much either. Good for you I hope it has all worked out as you hoped it would
Helsbelles - Sorry to hear that the acting thing is going through a dry spell. I don't know much about it other than going to see a couple shows on Broadway. You must have a lot of confidence and courage to get on stage and act in front of crowds. It's not for me I don't even like talking in front of the mirror - way to shy.
looper - I would love to hear what you had in the "large and varied arsenal of vices" box - surly one would work for me. Sorry to hear about your moms condition. Sure doesn’t sound good
5mol<er - "i'm so there! But I really don't miss all the stress and worry that smoking gave me. will one day someone invent the cigarette that doesn't do so much damage? That could be an interesting day on the forum!"
I always viewed smoking as a way to reduce the rest of the stress of life - I guess I need to sit back and look at it again. I’m sure I was wrong.
Anyway thanks for all the post again everyone. Another day down.
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