Weakness :(

Oh God!

Unfortunatelly after 83 days of sucess in be a non-smoker i felt weak. It was like everything went wrong today, like troubles who had been gathered for months now came all together and hit me soooooo hard! Yes i felt so weak that i betrated myself. After 83 days od total sucess in not smoking i made 2 cigaretes. What was i thinking? I guess nothing, weakness took total control of me...After i realised what horrible think i have done i immediately threw away the packet...So, 2 smokes ofcourse cant make u an addict again after 83 days of freedom...bu nicodemon is so damn powerful...In conclusion i hope that it was just a bad moment and that tommorow ill continue with day 84...if not...i will just be a bad example...i guess ill know in about 4-5 days, if i will be in day 88 or a smoker again...(damn me!!!!!!!!!!!!)

7 Replies

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  • The important thing here is not to beat yourself up over this blip. Learn from it, grit your teeth, shoulders back & carry on with your quit. You have learnt from those 2 fags that they are disgusting & so not worth it son onwards & upwards ok?

    Gaynor x

  • I agree with Gaynor- dont beat yourself up over it. Just put it down to experiaence and move on.

    Well done for jumping straight back on the wagon. Prepare for it to get tough again for a while, stay vigilant, and LEARN from your mistake. Remember how you felt, what triggered you etc and make sure it doesnt effect you that way next time.x.

  • Yes...its totall true...the taste was so damn disqusting!...i cant understand why the heck i started it from first place before 8 years!!!!....But ty for ur reply...i feel so bad that i was ready to go to a priest or smthn....and yes...i will see it as a bad day..a day that will not ruin my general plan on a healthy future!...thnx!

  • As someone who gave up for a year plus twice and ended up smoking again each time, please realise you cannot have a puff.

    My problem each quit was having a moment of weakness, having a few and then nothing for over a month, then the next moment of weakness having a few again...this pattern only leads to smoking full time again - trust me!

    Get back on the wagon and say never again, rather than thinking how well you did to have a few then stop again - think how fortunate you are and how strong you are - think of this as your last chance saloon - you cannot play again!

    My mum has quit smoking for 30 years now (she quit when she found out she was pregnant with me) she told me recently she STILL has smoking dreams once in a blue moon (especially since I came back with my habit) and that she is absolute in her belief in NOT ONE PUFF EVER.

    I absolutely am in agreement with my mum - if you have one puff you are on the road back to 20+ a day. I have done it several times now. One puff, and it may be 6 months down the line, but eventually I was back to 20 a day. So please, recognise your mistake, get back on the wagon and do not believe if you manage another month you can have the 'odd one'. That is the nicodemon talking!

  • Thnx for your replies.

    Claire it isnt and it wont be lot more dificult than the previous 83 days. Ofcourse i know what you mean but personally i never felt "good" and a non-smoker, all these 83 days i was strugling for a smoke but i was holding myself away from it and i guess thats what i will just continue doing although it makes me "unhappy".

    Itsinthegenes, what i had in mind in that weakness moment, wasnt to have an "odd one", but to return to my old self and be a smoker again, the cause is known fro all of us i guess, and its because we all had our little "evil" friend at our hard moments. Ofcourse i know "the odd one" is something u can't do and it's imposimple to 99% of smokers.

    Friends who see me in real life and see how misserable i have become at these 83 days of not smoking, really advise me to start again, to have at least this join till the moment i will feel more strong. I know and they know my personal problems and that they will end in 3-4 months, so they advise me to start again smoking for only these 3-4 months. They are right 50% becuase they know that i wil be happy allthough my problems, but they are wrong 50% because maby then ill never quit. I suffer(really) i am an addict of tobacco(damn these killers who sell these sticks) BUT i will choose to continue my personal fight agains smoking because deep inside me i know that things will be better for me, and then, i will be pleased that i guaranted a healthy body for me to enjoy this "future" happyness.

  • illas oh so true what you have said about being cranky . my poor other half i feel so sorry for him . im 80odd days now of quit and what i would like to know is how long are you cranky for . im not like this everyday . some times i dont even think of cigs .But on stress the crave is bad . but it does pass .Does this get any better ???? xx

  • Well Jans,

    i always have the desire for a smoke. But the really cranky momets are these that i have nothing to fill my time with and when i feel under pressure or sad or confused....Hm in conclusion i think i have felt cranky the 60% of 84 days. It's an everyday fight against smoke desire...at least this is what i feel like. I only remember 4 or 5 times that i felt like im not gonna smoke again in my life and those were moments tha i felt i loved myself and the situations arround me. I guess we must face it, WE ARE ADDICTED TO A DRUG!!!, and we must fight hard if we want to escape. Its ahard fight, it's like fighting with urself but our "good" self must win.

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