For those that remember my previous posts, all of them have been pretty positive in terms of my quit, but I also said in them all that I wouldn't take anything for granted. Trust me when I say this, the easier it gets, the more curiosity seeps into your mind and we all know what curiosity did to the cat...
Today and for the past few days that smokers mindset seems to have crept up on me unexpectedly. I am suddenly questioning my quit and really craving a cigarette. I see people smoking and think...'why can they smoke and I can't?' and I have no idea why but I actually feel teary writing this! It's like I'm almost longing for one.
I don't know what to do. It's like something is whispering in my ear saying 'just smoke, your life is worthless anyway - what do you have to live for?' It's really bizarre. I feel like the nicodemon we talk about so often isn't just merely personification of the addiction - it feels very real to me right now.
There's a lot more to it, and this thread is probably very muddled, but that's how my head feels right now. I can't even concentrate on what I am trying to type.