hit one month mark...with a bang

bad week this week, my nan died on thursday knew it would happen monday....this hasnt really affected me, she was 83 had altzeimers, not really had a relationship of sorts....but my mum died ten years ago this month she was 48 she was buried full catholic burial etc...and has a lovely plot and stone which me and my dad and brothers visit, well nan and mum made an arrangement to have a double plot...so mums plot is to be dug up for the funeral on thursday....and its really affected me.....to the point where i could quite easily go in the garden and roll some turf and smoke it to be quite honest....just taking hour by hour so far....

sorry totally waffled you dont need to know all that...this is the biggest situation as a newly non smoker to deal with, all other situations, deaths funerals etc...i have smoked.....i dont know if i would handle it different if i smoked or would be just as stressed, trying to tell myslef i would be just as stressed if i had never smoked...but god its time like these i really want my little white nicotine stick.....again sorry for the waffle.

not posted much advice on others posts, cause i feel at this moment in time i wouldnt know what to advice lol....

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  • Firstly, I get exactly where you are coming from. Mum died at 41 when I was 9. When dad died at 56 when I was 21 we had his ashes buried with her. This screwed me up big time. I couldn't explain why, but it was almost like the pain and grief of mum dying all those years ago suddenly came to the surface again. Very hard. All of my sympathies are with you. Smoking, though, chick wont make it better. Believe me. All it will do will make you feel better for a split second as you feed the monster, then you feel just as s**t after, plus be back to square one when you have done so so well. Trouble is, cant advise how you deal with it. I am only on month 1 too and today is a day of wriggly cravings in my belly and questions as to why I am doing this when my husband is chuffing away and is not grumpy like me. He looks like a big fat cigarette! PM me or post. I genuinely feel for you and want you get through not only the craving but the funeral. I can only say that after dad was buried I felt much better about the whole thing. Big hug and kiss xxxx

  • bad week this week, my nan died on thursday knew it would happen monday....this hasnt really affected me, she was 83 had altzeimers, not really had a relationship of sorts....but my mum died ten years ago this month she was 48 she was buried full catholic burial etc...and has a lovely plot and stone which me and my dad and brothers visit, well nan and mum made an arrangement to have a double plot...so mums plot is to be dug up for the funeral on thursday....and its really affected me.....to the point where i could quite easily go in the garden and roll some turf and smoke it to be quite honest....just taking hour by hour so far....

    sorry totally waffled you dont need to know all that...this is the biggest situation as a newly non smoker to deal with, all other situations, deaths funerals etc...i have smoked.....i dont know if i would handle it different if i smoked or would be just as stressed, trying to tell myslef i would be just as stressed if i had never smoked...but god its time like these i really want my little white nicotine stick.....again sorry for the waffle.

    not posted much advice on others posts, cause i feel at this moment in time i wouldnt know what to advice lol....

    So sorry your struggling Joanne, i cannot imagine how hard it is to go through what you have this week, but i didn't want to read and run..........

    Cigarettes are only likely to give you a temporary distraction, make make you feel quite sick and won't change your difficult circumstances one bit.

    And on top of that will put you at the starting point all over again.

    I stopped 3 weeks 4 days and 6 hrs ago and have saved in my pamper fund a whopping £90.

    It won't make things easier to smoke Joanne, your just really missing it.

    Stay strong. ;)

  • Hi Joanne

    Beleive me when I tell you smoking will not help you with this one little bit in fact it might make it worse as then you would feel mad with yourself and you would feel even worse than you do now

    Do not apologise for waffling as you call it do as you are doing and take it hour by hour after all this is another first for you but am sure you will make it

    If it is any help I went through this about 20 yrs ago having been quit for a year I caved and always regretted it and deep down you know you would as well or you wouldn't be here now

    Just hang in there I know you will get through this and we are all here for you

    Love and a big hug

    Margxxx

  • Joanne..

    I am sorry to hear your news. Its never easy loosing someone especially as in your case its connected to another 'deeper' loss that you have already had to deal with once already.

    Dont smoke now. You will still feel just as Sh*tty. There is no reason to think that smoking will help in any way what so ever. And I suspect that you know it too. Being strong when you dont feel you can is one of the hardest things.

    Thinking of you

    Andy

  • I am so sorry Joanne for having to go through such a painful time. I have not much to add.... everyone has said it..... smoking will not change a thing and you will actually have to deal with a bigger emotional turmoil if you do start again plus of course your cravings will begin again as well as you will have to feed the monster regularly. We stopped the same day and I see us at the one year mark! Hang in there..... have a good many cries and then maybe a good smile..... that will help but a fag will not..... hugs from all the way across the ocean.

  • Joanne.

    Sorry to hear your news.

    Please don't have a smoke, as you will regret it and feel bad about it.

    If you can stay strong through a "stress" period then you have achieved a lot.

    Hugs

  • thanks for your support, havent smoked...but god at the mo its so hard....but i know if i even have one...which i was so tempted to go and buy ten...that i will be back on 20 as soon as....but my brain is saying go one...just one....just wish the feeling to want to smoke would go

  • Hi Joanne

    I know you would be really angry with yourself if you gave in now and also how you feel now how easy it would be to do it that feeling of wanting to will go and you know it is that Nico :eek:Demon trying really hard because you are upset and stressed at the moment but ddep down you know this won't help you or you would have smoked already

    Keep Strong

    Love and a big hug

    Margxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Joe

    Only just seen this babe so very sorry. Please dont smoke hun im sure its really hard but you will feel better after the funnrel and feel so proud of your self Im sure your mum is watching so ask her for strenth. My mum passed away 10 years ago too. Thinking of you Love Linda. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Phew! I was worried you had fallen off the wagon! I have been watching out for you. Its hard when its a nagging need, I have just suffered a huge one. Can't give much more than to say I rode it out, then ate lots of rubbish. You have done brilliantly to stay off them, it does go away. Mine crave has gone from a 10 back down to a 2. Keep going. xxxx Am thinking of you and sending a well done hug xx

  • thanks for your support xxx have got over this week thank goodness, without caving in, well all credit to rob my hubby who has made sure i didnt cave....but i just wish i would stop slightly obsessing over fags.

  • I'm so glad you didn't cave.... glad you have a nice husband, too to support you!! How are you feeling now??? A little better?

  • I'm so glad you didn't cave.... glad you have a nice husband, too to support you!! How are you feeling now??? A little better?

    feel good at the mo, had a hectic week at college , a competition, and got a maths exam coming up and i have started the atkins diet and shifted 4 pounds.....the weight thing has been really getting me down, i have come of champix not been on it for a week, and feel ok, yep get cravings...but actually being on the atkins diet i am focusing more on the food than ciggy's so it is a welcome distraction...

    thanks everyone

  • Just read this thread... sorry to hear your going through a bad patch.

    Deal with the thoughts you are having now . i.e.

    I want a smoke.... deal with that.

    I feel stressed..... deal with that.

    Etc etc

    Dont worry about tomorow or the next day

    You will get through this tricky patch - You are a non smoker

    Greg

  • Hi Joe

    So pleased your feeling a little better babes. Funny you should say that about the diet. a friend of mine gave up smoking a year last nov the 4. Shes not small put started to pile on the pounds so she started a slimming world diet. she said it helped no end with the quit cos all she thought about was the diet. Good luck hun and tell that man of yours hes a top bloke.xxxxxx

  • Joanne It is very hard for you at the moment, I stopped for 3 years then my nanna died and I started smoking again... I had the biggest regrets ever and knew my nanna would have been upset as I used her as an excuse to smoke, which we all know wasnt right.. It was mine.... It took me another 12 months to get where I am again now, so try and avoid the tempation Joanne.

    Hope u ok Take care and remember you have loads of support on this great site to help u along... Karen xx

  • thank you veryone, now i am obsessing about chocolate, its taking all my strength not to ran 50 mini eggs in my gob...can definately recommend going on a diet, you stop obsessing about cigarettes.

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