Well here it is im now into my 2nd week :cool: and now off of those Champix. I feel great in one sense but absolutely awful in another. I have not had one of those tablets since yesterday morning and last night i had the most awful of nights, i was awake constantly on the hour if you like and i tossed and turned all night long, those tablets def mess up your brain you know and now im trying to overcome that and live a normal life again and this time a smoke free one. But i think its going to be a few more days yet before im completely clear of those meds in my system. I dont regret taking them because i feel they helped but what its done to my head is not good and i would rather struggle to stay off than have headaches, dizziness, weird dreams, etc etc. Im into my 2nd week now so hopefully all the other nasties from smoking have gone now and as ilias pointed out in my other thread its just the habit to overcome now thats why i have my knitting to keep me occupied.
Im now on scarf no 8 and im hoping that today i will be able to concentrate more on it because the last few days i have been unable to really get into it as i felt that bad.
So far this morning apart from feeling a little dehydrated which i have had a nice cuppa for im not feeling too bad, by no means am i 100% but then its only 24 hrs since i took my last tablet and i must give it a couple of days to clear through my body.
The twins are back at school this morning (oh yes) so they have just got up and i have made them their breakfast. They are going to be 11 in Dec, i dont know where the time has gone too its gone so quickly. They are all growing up so fast.
Anyhow, just made another cuppa as im really thirsty this morning. I think when i see the Nurse tomorrow im just going to ask to be seen each week anyhow still and not go onto anything as i dont want anymore chemicals going into my body, i would prefer to stay as i am and ride out the storm but at least by seeing her weekly she can take my readings and can also keep an eye on my progress but without any nico replacement or other treatment they may try and offer me.
It was nice yesterday to have the total support of my OH. He mentioned to me that it had been a week since i stopped and said "Well Done" which coming from him was a real bonus, i mentioned to him about what the tablets are doing to me and he just said STOP TAKING THEM and that i had come this far so could now stay away from those nasty blighters, he said he had every confidence in me, which was nice.
I can also speak to him on the phone again now without thinking of the old ways, i use my bluetooth headset now and carry on knitting etc that way i can still speak to my Hunni but without having the other thoughts.
Anyhow, this thread i will update everyday rather than keep starting a new one. Onwards and upwards
LOL
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Sorry to hear the tablets are making you feel so awful. I stopped them because they made go a bit pyscho. Not just normal giving up smoking i'm a bit moody but screaming in the face of my then 2 year old daughter, that was the point I said no more taking them.
I am sure your nurse will be fine with you still going each week. I still go to mine and i've done it cold turkey. Its still nice to be able to go and have a talk through it with her and really it just nice to get the pat on the back and well done from her
Can't believe you have knitted 8 scarfs in a week, thats mad, you must be either superfast or using some chunky arsed wool I'm just on number 1 right now but have orders for one for my DH and one for DD and she wants some knickers for her snowman teddy lol.
I was chatting to some a lady at DD's ballet on saturday and she said there is a reason that it helps with being calm and stopping the cravings. It uses the same part of your brain, so whilst you're concentrating on the knitting your brain hasn't got time to be aggitated (SP) about not smoking. I have actually noticed that since starting knitting my eating has gone down and i'm not eating so many mints, so I think that there may be something in this knitting thing that is genuinely helping.
Congrats on making it to week two Jo. Don't feel bad about the tablets - they did what you needed them too (just think you are on week 2 now, not day 1!), now you are simply going CT from your planned day anyway!!!
I am fine, son still sick - he sounds like the ex smoker not me! He wet the bed the last two nights, but dont think his cold is helping!
I am fine, got my stop smoking appointment with the nurse in an hour, then I have a job interview this afternoon :eek: Not a demanding job but money in right? Typically I have an interview for the job I really want in a few weeks, so have to decide if and when to accept the one today if offered. Todays is to work in a hotel, the other one is to train as a campaign coordinator and publisher for a scientific journal so would actually use my degree!
Anyway better go get brekkie for son before he kills me!
I knew my knitting lark would get others hooked, i do find it passes the time so quickly and the more you knit the less you forget about other things so as your friend pointed out that is why i do it. Im one of these that have to keep myself busy and occupied otherwise the horrid thoughts will come back into my head and i will want one when i know i dont its just there.
I dont know how i will feel now i have stopped those tablets but the first hurdle is done and the 2nd one im in now. I dont need to give up now i just need to stick with it no matter how hard it will be, on the plus side though by giving up those tablets i can have a drink occasionally if we go out and especially at Chrsitmas if i want one otherwise those Champix your not meant to drink on.
Im going to take it day by day from now on and just see how things go, i have not been tempted this weekend at all the only true time i thought i could have done with one was on Friday when i started to feel quite ill on theose Champix but i never gave in and i dont intend to now.
Im waiting on my copy of the Allen Carr Book and hopefully that will help too, that should be here one day this week. I am also hoping that i can do the shift on Thursday that i said i would cover. I was meant to be in today helping out but those tablets made me feel like i was somewhere else so got my MIL to cover todays one.
As for knitting the scarves quite quickly i sit here and keep going till the wool runs out and then i give it to one of the kids and start another. The wool is chunky ish but im using size 7.5mm needles and only 20 stitches so i am knitting quite fast. When the feelings start to calm down a bit my knitting will calm down too but because its early days i am just keeping going so that i dont get any ideas and go back to the old days.
Good luck with your knitting hun, it will def help pass the time and the cravings. Enjoy the day
Good luck with your interview today and also your appt with the nurse. Lets hope the results are both what you wanted. When it comes to the jobs, just take it all in and make sure that you are 100% happy when you accept which ever one.
Sorry to hear your little man is still not well its not nice when they are poorly as they expect us to make them better but sometimes even we cant do much apart from offer cuddles but at least he knows your about for him. As for the dry nights, he will do that when he is ready as you know.
I just wanted to add my friends make sure that yu get enough vitamins now as your body will need them to help it recover. Im starting the Berucca ones tomorrow, they are the disolve in water ones so become like an orange drink but i would reccomend if you have not done so already get some extra vits in your system esp vit c which helps keep colds at bay.
Im hoping that tonight i will sleep better and not have the same as last night, i have not tossed and turned like that since my underactive thyroid was diagnosed last November and i found that really odd last night. All being well i should start to see a reduction in the bad feelings today, hopefully i wont feel so lethergic, have a headache or feel constantly drunk and i cant wait to drive my car again as i have not felt in control enough to want to drive it and heres hoping tomorrow i can get back in and take myself out for a bit.
Well done Jo, really proud of you hun. Another great book is the Gilian Riley one 'How to stop smoking and stay stopped'. I could really relate to this one and found it great.
Goodluck Genes with your job interview
Jo & S - glad the knitting is helping. TBH on would have a go to try and stop me from heating but I wouldn't have a clue where to start
Jo & S - glad the knitting is helping. TBH on would have a go to try and stop me from heating but I wouldn't have a clue where to start
Keep up the good work all and happy knitting
xx
'You Tube' all the way, learnt how to cast on, knit, purl and bind off. Thats all you need for a scarf.
I found some lovely wool earlier to do my husbands one, was £7.00 but you only need 1 ball for a scarf and you would pay more than that in the shops for one.
Jo, I think you have me hooked. When all the scarves are done am going top try to find an easy pattern to see if I can do it.
Where do i start. I have had the most awful of days today. Those tablets have made me very angry, aggresive, bad tempered, unable to cope, sad, lonely, depressed, so very fricking tierd all the time, unable to eat properly, hating myself, wanting a cig so so much that i nearly caved in because i felt that i could not cope anymore with my life, i told my OH that i was going to buy a pack of 10 but never did, luckily but whatever these champix have done to my brain they have seriously F*****d me up and now i dont know who i am anymore. I have not give in but OMG i lost it earlier and i ended up going to my Mum in Laws because i just could not cope at home. I spoke to my quit Nurse who said and this is after i had my last cig on the 24th its not the tablets making me feel like this its nicotine withdrawel, FFS she has never smoked so how the hell does she know, i have cancelled tomorrows appt and will go and see her next Tues and she said she will see if i can go onto Zyban as they did not make me feel like this when i last took them and i only stopped because i could not afford the prescription. Otherwise they worked for 4 weeks then because of issues at home i went back to being a smoker.
I have told her that if these tablets keep doing what they have done today and make me want to shoot myself then i may end up giving in but NO WAY WOULD I EVER TAKE THOSE SODDING THINGS AGAIN when you stop and this is me they have seriously messed my head up and i thought i was sane until these.
I am not going to punish myself if i give in but i hope to stay strong and not do so but today was not an urge as such more like the most powerful being pressing my head against as brick wall and nagging me and nagging me and making me feel that i am stupid and bad and that even if i did have one it wont make things any better but the last straw fo rme was how i nearly flipped at my son who has Learning Problems and today and this is the first time i truely think had i not gone to my mother in laws i would have killed him
Anyhow thats my day guys, been a right shit of a day and now i am just so tierd that i want to sleep and sleep.
Sending loads of hugs and love to you. I am so sorry you are going through this and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, go to bed if you need to, do whatever you need.
Come and rant at us - that is what we are here for, and I am sure I speak for everyone when I say I have loved reading your posts and you have been fantastic on here, don't leave us no matter what!
This is really weird but im sat here and im crying, WTF!!!!. What on earth am i crying for, i dont understand and i dont feel normal at all, i just want my old life back minus the ciggies of course.
I am not going anywhere but at this moment in time i dont know where i am at let alone know where i am going.
I really need those hugz from you guys because so far and i know its not the nicotine i have never felt so depressed in my whole life. I seriously regretting ever going on those bloddy tablets. I want them to leave my body and leave me alone. If i faltor i will try again i just want to be happy and love life not sad and hate it.
Thank you Hunni for replying its meant a lot to me
I understand where you are coming from - my reaction to Zyban was horrible - the first day I cried myself to sleep and I am definitely not a crier! Then cried again the next day.
Give your body a chance to get all the medicine out - run a bath, pick up a book or read through posts here and just know we all want you better! I was going to suggest run a bath and do some knitting in it but I am not sure how that would work!!
Im not sure either i think the yarn may get a little wet but the bath sounds like a good idea and so would a nice glass of Vodka and Orange and a cuddle with my OH, but sadly NO Booze as im not allowed and NO cuddle cos the OH is away till Weds so its a long bath, some knitting then a hot chocolate and then off to bed.
I am seriously hoping that tomorrow im feeling better as this is not right. Thank you for replying though it meant a lot xx
Well here i am again Guys and Gals, its day 9 now and i have had a slightly better nights sleep which is helping.
I have not felt like im going to fall down the stairs so thats a good start, i have not tossed and turned all night and have only woke up twice, again which is a good thing :), i dont have any urges or thoughts which again is a good thing. I am hoping that today will be a better day for me, i am on my own today as the elder one is back at college and so cant wind me up like he did yesterday and TBH i would normally have shrugged it off but he got to me and i felt like the "Incredible Hulk" because of those tablets but im hoping that today i wont get quite so nasty and that i can chill out a bit more, maybe have a life again and not be a total bitch, which was just not me.
I cancelled the appt with the Nurse today as i could not be bothered to go up there if im honest, i mean i have been so bad while waiting for these things to exit my body that in all honesty i dont see the point in seeing her while i am just so tierd and not 100% but i have kept her informed how i have been going and although she put all my anger etc down to Nico withdrawel which is rubbish utter rubbish, i just wanted to wait a week and then go and see her. So far so good i have not wanted a cig but im being realistic here i am not expecting miracles and i am not in the mood for punishing myself, as i said yesterday those pills had made me into a different person at that time and somehow i changed and it def was not me, im normally a kind caring person and can deal with most things but that was not me and i cant wait for the last of the Champix effects to leave my body and let me be normal again.
Anyhow, here i am at Day 9 and apart from yesterdays issues eveything is going along quite nicely my end. My scarf which is no 8 is getting there i will finish that one today and start another, i am enjoying making all these scarves and im finding i dont need to be constantly knitting now to keep busy as the thoughts are gradually going but i dont want to be too complacent so im going to keep going and i know i can do this.
Thank you everyone for yesterday, i am hoping that today its better and that i start to feel like lil~ol me again
Glad you are feeling a bit better this morning. I'm not suprised your nurse tried to blame nicotine withdrawal for your moods, they don't like anything said against their wonder drug. Its funny though as about 4-5 days after I came off it I was back to normal (well normal for me lol)
Awww Jo hunny sorry you are having a tough time of it.
I understand that it could be the champix that made you 'mrs evil' but nicotine withdrawl can also do that so it may have been a combination of both.
Your quit journey will be one hell of a rollercoaster ride, there will be lots of ups and downs. The longer you ride on this rollercoaster, there will be less downs and more ups.
I as you know have had a few attempts at quitting and I think the last times I've in a way felt deprived of something and like my life wasn't complete without the nicomonster. This time however, my attitude is completely different and I've had what I would call a 'ping' moment. I still sometimes have difficult days but I have more and more good days than bad. I simply look at it as though 'I made a choice not to smoke today'. No one has forced me not to I simply made a choice to take back control and not to be controlled by something.
What I'm trying to say Jo is hang in there and stay strong and you to soon will have that ping moment. A time will come in your quit when you think, 'just what was the point in smoking' after all other than costing a fortune and causing cancer what does smoking actually do for people?
I hope you know what I'm trying to say hun and that I am trying to help. I hope this post has come across how it was meant, the last thing I want to do is sound blasé or patronising.
Care for your quit hun, look after it and be proud of your acheivements
Well so far so good, have had a few thoughts about you know who but they come and go thank goodness
I am still knitting that 10' scarf, it should be finished in a bit as ball no2 is almost gone now. I will take a pic and post it on here later then you can see what it is i get up to to pass the time.
I have a slight headache at the mo and am feeling a little tierd and heady but again i think its those meds, i am not as bad as i was Sunday or even yesterday but i am still not 100%. :mad:
I think my dad will be round soon, he is a smoker trying to quit with the inhalator and then still smoking during the day which to me makes no sense and i am worried that he is going to smell really bad as i have not seen any other people who smoke since i stopped. I will let you all know later how that goes.
Oh well time for a cuppa and i hope that today wont be as bad as yesterday and i hope tomorrow will be better than today.
I get what your saying and no your not patronising or anything its ok
I am getting there and i am taking it bit by bit and not trying to take on too much. I like you know the reasons i want to stop this time and i am sticking with those. It was never the money just a case of why did i feel the need to do it and yes i know i am now incontrol of that Nicodemon. Yesterday was completely different and i honestly dont think it was a withdrawel from the nicotine because i have gone CT before and never ever felt like that but today things are a little better.
As i have mentioned stil have a headache, but no true issue with cravings at such just the tierdness now which could be a bit of both my body recovering and also those weird tablets. I guess i will never know but onwards and upwards as this time its for keeps.
Sorry to hijack your thread Jo but the above quote from Tinks was the epiphany moment for me. What *does* smoking do for anyone? From my new perspective I can see now that all it does is relieve withdrawal short-term and set the body up for the next craving that has to be satisfied. Break that circle, and you're on the home straight.
Stay strong and positive Jo! This is the most rewarding journey you'll ever take!!
I'm glad you're feeling better hun, try to drink plenty of water if you can. I know it's not easy and makes you wee a lot (well it did me) but it is worth it.
CC says it better than me - I never was too good at explaining myself
Stay focused and positive and you know where I am if you need me. (At the bar with a pint and packet of peanuts - I'm a bit of a ladette really! ha, ha)
I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 8 hours, 34 minutes and 8 seconds (9 days).
I have saved £37.29 by not smoking 159 cigarettes.
I have saved 15 hours and 54 minutes of my life.
My Quit Date: 24/10/2010 10:55
Well guys and gals,
Im off for a nice relaxing bath and then a lovelly hot cuppa. I wanted to say today that i am still not 100% but i am def feeling a bit better, i did feel very tierd this afternoon but that could be for a number of reasons.
The free download of the Stop Smoking Hypnosis MP3 i found earlier has been great and i intend to play it every night when i go to bed so that i relax and let the information that:-
I am not a smoker, i have no desire to smoke and neither do i want one stick in my head........for free im glad i found it. It was very relaxing and if i listen to it at night for a few weeks the 33 mins of that very sexy scottish voice, almost like Sean Connery can help the message stick in my BRAIN.
Morning all, this is the start of day 10 for me :), cant believe its that day already. Its gone quite quickly.
Im off out this afternoon for a hospital appt but im not driving as i still dont feel 100% on that front so my Mum will be taking me over to see the consultant. Then it should be a case of waiting for an appt for surgery, im hoping that its done this year but i wont know yet.
I slept quite well last night, that Hypno CD i put it on, snuggled down under my duvet heard the first 5 or so minutes then i was out for the count and i did not have any thoughts about those things yesterday after listening to it.
I am not a smoker, i have no desire to smoke and neither do i want one!
Those words have stuck in my mind now, last night when it played it would have deep into my brain as i had it on the CD twice and never heard the rest of the first one so the 2nd one played whilst i was sleeping, thats the best thing because i feel that those words have actually stuck with me now. I can thoroughly recommend that FREE download as it has changed my way of thinking.
Here you go Guys and Gals, This is a selection of just 4 of the 9 scarves i have made since i decided to quit. I started them on the 21st Oct and now im about 10 start No 10 so thats almost 1 per smoke free day.
The longest one so far is about 10 ft long, they are so nice, they are chunky and warm.
I have now start my scarf that I got my lovely wool for. I have had to order some more wool as I don't think the 4 balls I have will be enough. I want it huge and snuggly for the schoold playground as it is freezing out there lol.
Glad your feeling better hun, you are sound brighter again.
Got to run as got my smoking nurse now but chat later.
Hiya Jo, glad to here you are feeling better. Even though you was sleeping, your sub conscious mind would have been listening.
TBH this time I quit using hypnosis and bioresonance therapy, I was really sceptical about it but felt I had exhasuted other methods. Don't get me wrong, I've had to work at it as I don't think there is any magic cure but it has been a lot, lot easier.
Luving your scarfs - you going to have to start flogging them on ebay! I'd buy one
Keep going hun and it is great to hear you are feeling better
I am just deciding which colour to use for my next chunky scarf i have so many i cant decide.............ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................................Nope still cant decide.
So far so good today, no thoughts, not a dicky bird and i truely feel like i have always been a non smoker, i mean why on earth would anyone want to smoke cos thats disgusting and it smells bad, OMG thats an awful habit and you can smell a smoker from a mile away. Oooops did i really just say all of that, oh well i must mean it otherwise i would not have wrote it.
I dont miss my old life you know, i have had some really bad days esp since last Friday but feel now that life is on the up and i am not taking anything at all NO CHAMPIX, NO PATCHES, NO NRT in ANYFORM, i am just now at Cold Turkey and seem to be doing ok although i do know that i still have to be on my guard at all times.
Ummmm I think we have a reformed smoker on our hands only joking hun!
Hi Tink
I know its sounds weird but somehow i feel totally different today and i think half of that is that Hypno CD i listened to yesterday. I can def recomend it to others.
I am not quite a reformed smoker YET but i do feel that i am getting there, and my thoughts on the subject seem to be so different.
I also feel a little tierd still in the afternoons but those Champix have not left my body completely yet so i have that to contend with and also im boosting my system with Berucca Soluble Once a Day Multi-Vitamins to help repair the damaged tissues etc in my body and also now at night im going to play that CD so that when i am sleeping the information still gos into my subconscious and will hopefully be drummed in that much that i will NEVER EVER THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS AGAIN, oh yeah baby!
I know this is going to sound really weird but it may only be 10 days in for me but i honestly believe that i have Never smoked, like i said why would i want to do that. I dont know if thats the Hypno in my head or just me but either way im a happy bunny.
I do hope that i never lecture my friends who still do as i would hate doing that to them i am also worried about meeting up with people who do because the smell is just so horrid and i fear feeling physically sick when i am near those people, i have always hated that smell and i dont know how i am going to cope when around smokers now. YUK what has happened to me, i mean when i smoked i smelt and non smokers had to put up with my hair, clothes and breath smelling so what makes me different. OMG this is just so weird, this cant be me, can it?????
Anyhow, i can finally drink coffee again so im having a nice cup of Nescafe and im going to do some more rows on my newly started black scarf, Hun i could not do a pink and purple one cos i made one of those yesterday, thats the 2nd one from the left in the pic.
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(oh yes) so they have just got up and i have made them their breakfast. They are going to be 11 in Dec, i dont know where the time has gone too its gone so quickly. They are all growing up so fast.
Diary of a quitter - Day 14
Day 14 and struggling!
End of day 14 tonight.
OMG 7...almost 8...days!
