Hi not only here for a rant but also to talk about the bad times lately as I have read a few times that people later on in the quit and those who slip up dont come on here and talk about it much and I said to myself I would as it might help others if they are having a rough time - sometimes easier to hear that your not the only one finding it hard and everyone else getting it easy lol
Anyway... I have been using NRT and am on day one of week 9! I had a slip up in week one - felt like shit - not had anymore since until Sat night was sitting one on one chatting to a friend who was smoking and yes I said it - "give us a pull" and she did had two pulls on the end first was relief second was disgusting. I actually hate smoking - I hate that I felt good as well as felt sick and dirty and all I have thought since is how hard my wee body has worked at getting my lungs clean and how I have dirtied them again. I have been on and off the NRT for past 2-3 weeks and made a decision to come off it completely now - dont get me wrong it really helped at the beginning but now feel like I am just prolonging it as am still addicted and am living in suspense wondering if I will cope without it so feel it better to just bite the bullet and start sooner rather later ie Nico free completely instead of living in fear of whats to come... I really thought when I was a smoker that if i could go this long (a couple of months) surely I would never smoke again but it is still hard at times - dont get me wrong its defo easier and most days (8/10) its not a bother at all even though I live with two heavy smokers and all my girlfriends smoke - but i have had another slip up (ie the two pulls on sat night) and that is just a reminder that I am not out of the woods yet I have to keep my head down and keep going, keep fighting - it really has brought me back down to earth and reminded me what i am leaving behind and that i am very very happy about
I hope all are going well and no slip ups like me but if you have ever slipped up I would be grateful if you could tell me about it I have no intention of letting this be the "just one trigger" it was a couple of pulls and that was more than enough to make me realise its just not worth it