Slipped up Badly

Hi Everyone

I made some postings on here and I was doing great for well over a month, BUT, I have had a terrible slip up this week and all those not-smoking days have gone. I feel so sad and ashamed :(

I keep reading posts here on how long people have quit, and how well they are doing, but I cant find anything about slip-ups and what made people to slip up, whether it was a bad day at work, an argument, or whatever. And what they did to combat a slip-up? How have people dusted themselves down and tried again?

I had a cigarette on Monday after an argument with a member of my family, and quite a few since.

But my biggest problem is, My head is in a mess on a morning and a cigarette brings me round very quickly. Otherwise I am very sluggish and it takes ages to come round and its a horrible feeling

.........Does anyone recognise that problem?

People have stopped smoking and gone through worse than I have, and they didnt light up again, but I caved in. I am begining to think I must have weak willpower or something, or maybe its because its the most addictive drug in the world, I dont know, but its really winding me up.

If they banned tobacco full stop. and stopped selling cigs etc, it would make stopping smoking for me a lot easier, I think they are too freely available personally.

Sorry, I'm waffling on.........

Anyway, I want to stop again today.

I dont want carry on smoking. I hadn't realised it has taken over my life in such a big way ~ its horrible. :mad:

So "Day One" here we go

Any tips on the "first thing on a morning" problem would be very appreciated.;)

Many Thanks

Stu

21 Replies

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  • Welcome back, a slip is just a slip, dont think there is any one on here who hasnt slipped up once or twice or a lot more. The important thing is to keep trying.

    I've tried to give up some many times before. Some of the reason that made me smoke again, were openig to many letters at work, the car in front is moving to slow, that bloke in the pub lite a fag up in front of me, a friends long lost cousin's brother twice removed on his mother side who move to austrailia pet rabit had died.

    All of them just excusses to myself. 9 times out of 10 I'd say its just a slip and I give up again in the morning, well months of mornings passed before I tried again.

    The important thing is youre back straight away not smoking, whats gone before you can do nothing about. It what comes next is up to you.

    Theres always people here who will help, they have been a hugh help to me.

  • People will have all sorts of reasons for slipping up but in the end it all boils down to the fact that it is an addiction and the only way to break the addiction is to not do it!

    Have a look at this thread I've used plenty of these excuses myself, in the past.

    Anyway there is no point dwelling on the slip,what's done is done, just get on with the new quit and try to learn what you can from the past one.

    All the best

    Nic

  • Hi Stu,

    As suggested already, I think you will find plenty of experiences here on this forum about people who have slipped, blipped or relapsed.

    It may seem that there are only postings about how well people are doing, but there's probably several reasons for that - which might include ...

    ...whilst some will come out and say they've smoked again, like you have, others may not be so open about it.

    ...you only see the things that back up your argument, it's part of the distorted thinking thing. So while you are having a tough time, everyone else seems to be finding it a breeze! This just isn't true. It may be easier for some than others but most have struggled at one time or another during their quit.

    Well done to you for being upfront and honest about things. And doubly well done for being determined to restart your quit. Keep strong and you will get there.

    Deke

  • I have slipped many times in the past. This quit was different. It had taken me a long time to build up to it and I was scared to slip up, I didn't think I would have the strength to quit again and that frightened me even more than the cravings! I read and understood the fear factor in a woofmang tale afterwards and I really took it on board. Have a look at it. Its on tales from the quit and is called fear.

    You are the only person who chooses whether you smoke. You need to understand you are gaining nothing by smoking. It doesn't make anything better. It doesn't solve your problems. It only adds to them.

    I can honestly say there have been times I would have killed for a smoke this quit. But I can't go back to that hell again. I agree with Deke, some people seem to breeze through a quit but I can assure you there are many PMs batting back and forth in the background re people struggling but not wanting to post on the forum and seem negative!

    Good on you for coming clean, it seems like you are already partway there in the fact that you acknowledge you need to pick yourself back up! xx

  • A Slip is a Slip Let It Go

    I first quit in 1985. I slipped up and smoked a cig in 1997 or so, and started back smoking for another 10 years.

    I quit on 17 October 2007 and haven't slipped once.

    A big thing is understanding yourself and being honest with yourself. I know that I have an addictive personality and that it would take very little for me to start up again.

    I also know that I don't want to go through the quitting process yet again. Twice was plenty for me--actually, once was plenty, but I'm self destructive, I guess. I kept reminding myself that the craving I was going through would have to be repeated if I caved in. If I didn't cave in, though, that was one less craving I would have to deal with.

    This message board is full of people who have successfully kicked the habit. You, too can do it!

    Keep at it!

    RobW

    Quit: 17 October 2007

    567 Days x 2.5 packs per day = 1,418 packs I haven't smoked

    Method: Cold Turkey

  • I can assure you there are many PMs batting back and forth in the background re people struggling but not wanting to post on the forum and seem negative!

    It is a shame those messages are not in public as it may be giving the impression that, on the whole, members are finding it easy. Most people have at least some hard times and the forum is here to be supportive to all. Users should never feel put off from posting stating they have slipped up, or are finding it very hard resist relapsing. Collectively the users are here to help each other and saying you are struggling does not equate to being negative or in some way inferior.

    Mod 3

  • Is it appropriate after reading these posts, to ask why we're encouraged to read stuff like this if we're such a caring and supportive forum. David

    ffn.yuku.com/topic/177

  • Have I just been 'done'? How exciting! However, I thought this was supposed to be a moderate forum. With people being encouraged to quit whichever way suits them best. I think you will find that everyone is open about how difficult it can be. And there are plenty of posts on here to that effect. No one hides it, some just prefer to rant privately.

  • Hi Stu :D

    I am so glad to see you back on here again please don't be ashamed of slipping, an awful lot of us do

    Listen to what everyone is telling you, we're all here and will help as much as we can

    As for the first thing in the morning thing I drank black coffee as if it was going out of fashion and that helped with it quite a bit

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxxx

  • I thought this was supposed to be a moderate forum. With people being encouraged to quit whichever way suits them best.

    It is a moderate forum Fiona, so why are we advised to follow the various links in peoples sigs such as the one I posted. David

  • Because some of the information on whyquit is quite useful even if its a cold turkey advocate. I was pointed to it when I started and some of it helped me. Personally I prefer woofmangs but both have positive points. Maybe the links should have a health warning near them saying take what you need from these and discard the rest. Though I thought that was the understanding anyway.

  • Anyway, enough about moderators and moderation. What about Stu! His thread has been hijacked!! I hope you are feeling a bit more positive now about your quit. If its any help, I was a terrible early morning smoker. I could do 5 before 7am in the morning. It was a trigger thing in the end I worked out. I woke up and felt I had to go straight downstairs to smoke. Even if I was ill or still sleepy I had to smoke. Of course, it was an addict thing too I suppose! It doesn't happen now though. I have no early smoking thoughts anymore. They go. Honestly. xx

  • Nobody's perfect, just pick yourself up and try again.

    you become a stronger person for that

    some people give up trying and thats a sad story

  • Sorry to hear about your slip,

    but yeah, you are right it is the most addictive drug in the world!

    I personally have found that action keeps me stopped.

    By action, I mean this:

    Whenever I feel like a cigarrette I come to these forums and look for a post like

    yours, and then I try to be helpful & encouraging and share my experience of

    how I stopped and how I stay stopped.

    Exactly what I am doing right now!

    It works!

    Oh, and reading/ listening to "allen carrs easy way to stop smoking" got me

    into a really positive frame of mind to stop & be happy about it, which I really

    really wanted. Actually I needed that.

    I love being a non-smoker :)

    lotsa luck!

  • I slipped up after a full year and haven't be able to put them down since march......im actually gasping for one now but i made a promise to myself that I was going to quit again as im sick of people moaning at me about it.

    Keep going it can be done...once you get to a certain point where their is no nicotine in your blood you dont even think about it half as much

  • U can do it

    Oh Stu, am so gutted for you,:( not been on site for a while, but when I read this, had to reply......

    U did so well, it has not gone to waste, just carry on, u have not undone all you have done, cos your just carrying on......

    Keep your chin up Stu, U will get there, just a little practice run, Nows the real thing...... Keep Strong Kaz :)

  • I have never recieved a PM good, bad or otherwise... does this mean I'm unpopular?? THAT'S IT, I'm having a fag!!:D

  • Don't beat yourself up about it. I have slipped up so many times in the past, thinking one ciggie won't hurt me and then ended up back on 20 a day. It happens and there will be lots of people of here that have done the same. I am 3 months in, but you know what? Everytime me and the other half have an argument or I just feel "not on form" for some reason (possibly hormonal), I always think about my once precious friend, the one thing that perked me up in times of need, and it's hard mate, SO HARD, to resist the temptation. I sometimes end up in a right old strop and the situation gets worse because I am by this point screaming the house down, BUT I can only describe it as a roller coaster, where your tensions, anxiety and "need to smoke" go up and up and up until you think "I NEED IT SO BAD", but let it go over the top and hit its peak and it will come down. This doesn't take seconds to happen, it could take half a day, BUT it will come down and you'll be so glad you saw it through. Try going for a long walk, phoning a friend, reading a book, ANYTHING to take your mind of it. If you're in an argument think "RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BEAT ME!" and vent your anger into the demon that controls your head, that little monster that is making you want to go to the shop, mentally BEAT THE CR*P OUT OF HIM!!! It's not easy mate, we all have it and it's common, BUT for now, you just keep trying and no matter how many times you fail, don't worry, the time will come when it all works out just fine....GOOD LUCK!

  • Hi Stu, glad you came back. Think most of us have been there and each time we learn something new , something which will help next time. I find it sad that there are people who berate those who have had a slip, surely whats important is the desire to stop. People need a place like this to help and support those that desperately want to find a way to break the addiction.

    You can do it Stu, you kept off cigs before - that takes some strength x

  • Good for you, get some!!!!:cool:

  • Good on you! It would have been too easy to throw the towel in and just chin a load of smokes on the pretence of 'ahh well i've done one now anyway'... but to learn from it, pick up.. move on .. without smoking.. thats cool enough.

    Pigeon hole that blip and the circumstances surrounding it and learn from it.. add it to experience, and just do your utmost to prevent the same happening again, thats the best you can do i'd say.

    Well done.

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