Christmas Wrapping

Thats been my trigger this weekend. I always thought I enjoyed wrapping gifts. It actually turns out that I enjoyed topping up my nicotine levels in between parcels. Wrapping without smoking is a complete pain in the arse and totally mind numbingly boring. Of course, all of my gifts won't smell of ashtrays this year, and the gifts are nicer as I have more money. But still. I struggled. Oh, and can someone give me a bit of grounding over my reaction to finding out my husband smoked (he quit in April) on Friday night. At the moment I am in a complete panic that if he starts again I will eventually follow and that frightens me to absolute death.

11 Replies

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  • Fi

    You're in front of me, you've been honest about your experiences and you've been honest with yourself.

    Just because your husband smoked, why would you? You quit before him, you're stonger than him, as you haven't given in. Don't take a single puff, reread woofmang, did myself this morning as need to bolster myself - not so much against smoking but against life. It's on his posts before he reaches his year, essentlially he talks about the half percent club. Most people who take one puff are soon at their previous levels and right back where they started.

    Never smoked in the house so wrapping and smoking never occurred, always a chore because I'm so bad at it. Buy bags. Keep old bags. Re-use, recycle.

    Keep posting Fi

  • Hi

    You were probably shocked to find out he had smoked but please don't let it get to you, he will sort himself out it's very important you look out for you and don't try it out too. My husband smokes and I manage not to, if he should continue you can still do it. It is nice when both people stop together but I still think it is a very individual thing and we must always look out for ourselves, not rely on the other to stay stopped for us.

    Jackie

  • Thats been my trigger this weekend. I always thought I enjoyed wrapping gifts. It actually turns out that I enjoyed topping up my nicotine levels in between parcels. Wrapping without smoking is a complete pain in the arse and totally mind numbingly boring. Of course, all of my gifts won't smell of ashtrays this year, and the gifts are nicer as I have more money. But still. I struggled. Oh, and can someone give me a bit of grounding over my reaction to finding out my husband smoked (he quit in April) on Friday night. At the moment I am in a complete panic that if he starts again I will eventually follow and that frightens me to absolute death.

    Hi

    I would be the same, my OH stopped 3 weeks after me but if he had one I would go mental...think it shows us how fragile our quit is.

    I'm going with bags...like to use and reclycle, actually I am just really lazy...

    L x

  • Hi Fiona :)

    I can imagine how distressed you were when your OH started smoking again but please don't let this derail you

    You stopped before him so you were used to him smoking while you were quit

    Wrapping those parcels won't be as bad next year for you either it was just a trigget for you the girst time you did this since you quit smoking

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • Thank you

    my NSD friends. Will Tesco bags do? I'm not sure my Asda bags will stand the trauma of some of the spiky sorts of presents my husband will be presented with this year (a ball made of nails, an inside out pin cushion, exploding drawing pin jack-in-the-box man).

    Re the smoking husband thing - I know he should not make any difference to my quit. It frightens me that even though I am not a sheep, I may lose my focus. It may be too tempting to pick up a pack of smokes when I am having a bad day if they are there. Our whole relationship was originally based around smoking, he is my quit smoking cigarette man type monster in a suit from the adverts and I have loved having him quit, its made it easier I suppose.

    Woofmang and the forum is the way forward. I am sure if he starts again, and I am hoping this was a blip, I will carry on as normal. The other avenue is just too horrible to contemplate.

  • Hi Fi,

    I am sorry to hear that your husband has started smoking again. But that doesn't have to change anything. I know it's hard - i would find it very hard because I would be slightly jealous in an odd way.

    The thing is, my husband has never quit smoking so for the past 11 months I have watched him smoking and seen his cigarette packets lying about but I'm used to it now. If he had smoked and then started again then it would be much harder.

    What I'm trying to say is that you MUST keep up your quit and soon you will get used to the fact that he smokes and it won't affect you. And maybe you will inspire him to stop again.

    The worse possible thing you can do is cave in and start again, you really don't want to be back at the bottom of that mountain again do you - you are so near to the top!

  • Fiona, sorry to hear that things have been tough and that your OH has smoked. Try not to let this phase you and keep focused on your quit. its bloody hard being in a situation when you suddenly think ooh I would have just had a fag now. It just creeps up and smacks you in the chops its horrible. You can stay focused, read read read and read more. forget the wrapping, put the pressies in bags! it will pass and the next time you face one of these damn triggers you will deal with it better!! I thought the nic demon was bad but the bloody triggers do my nut in!!!!

    Stick with it and post often!!!!

    Big Hugs xxxxx sam:D

  • Hi Fi

    I get my motivation to stay quit from my parents, friends and most of all my daughters. When I am having a wobble I get hold of one of them and ask them to tell me what they like about me not smoking. My mum sees it as a weight off her mind knowing she has less chance of nursing me through a dreadful illness and my daughter tells me it makes her happy and she knows I wont die soon!

    My husband is still quit but he finds it hard, I know he does. I trust that he hasnt smoked since but I dont know and I know how devastated I would be if he started and I worry it would impact on our relationship because I dont know how I wouldnt be repulsed by the smell of smoke on him.

    Stay strong. Drink your fave tipple when wrapping presents! Buy less! Do a little at a time so you dont get "settled" and needing a smoke.

    Keep talking!

    Nog

    x

  • Thats been my trigger this weekend. I always thought I enjoyed wrapping gifts. It actually turns out that I enjoyed topping up my nicotine levels in between parcels. Wrapping without smoking is a complete pain in the arse and totally mind numbingly boring. Of course, all of my gifts won't smell of ashtrays this year, and the gifts are nicer as I have more money. But still. I struggled. Oh, and can someone give me a bit of grounding over my reaction to finding out my husband smoked (he quit in April) on Friday night. At the moment I am in a complete panic that if he starts again I will eventually follow and that frightens me to absolute death.

    Just saw this post, Fi! What the hell...... you did NOT enjoy topping up nicotine levels. You HAD to. There is a big difference and you better remember it, too. Sure you felt relief with that fag in between wrapping gifts but surely you know it had nothing to do with enjoyment! You had to. You had to all the time.... Eat, have a fag. Clean house, have many fags. Have sex, have a fag. On and on it goes..... not for enjoyment but because you HAD to. So you stop fretting. If OH starts to smoke again then poor him. He'll have to quit all over again, poor guy. I hope it's just a blip.... for his sake.

    So don't you panic..... you're in a great position. You're almost a year quit and life no longer revolves around fags. You're free! Wrapping gifts sucks..... deal with it! We all do!

    PS - WTF are you wrapping presents for already anyways? Have not even got mine.... cow!

    xxxxx

  • While it may seem like a nightmare scenario, you are i think in a perfect position to guide your hubby away from this temptation. Christmas month (december) is a stressy month at best.. everyone rushing around trying to make things just right. Yet, come christmas day, year after year, we all wonder what all the fuss was about.

    Have you had a chat with your OH to tell him your worried ? it might give him the jolt he needs to see he's making a big mistake talking to the demon again.. he may also need some help to correct his 'blip' which is what i suppose it is for now. Give him the same support you'd need were the opposite to happen.

    As for wrapping presents, its not something I don't much like doing either.. so much effort for Rrrrrrrrrrip, tear.. ooh ta :/ One thing i do though is get a big dinner plate or two and i cut tons of sellotape and stick them around the edges of the plate so i can easy peel them off and then stick parcel flaps down with it. Saves alot of time, stops the crazy problem of the end of the tape sticking to the taperoll and the like. simples.

    I have some excess determination left over fiona, you can have some of mine. Be strong.. help the hubby if you can.. he will thank you for it later. just don't follow anothers mistake.. you are stronger than that.

    Jase

  • Right. Thats it. I've kicked myself up the arse and many thanks for all your kickings too, (Bells, get off yours and get moving. Not long to go......)speaking it out loud and reading your replies made me put it in perspective. 10 months is a big milestone to falter on. Andy has said he has no urges to smoke and Jerry and Nog, its nice to remember its not just me in this situation. If it happens and he falls off then so be it, I need to grow up about the whole thing. Jase an extra thankyou for the sellotape top tip! I agree that the triggers are a total pain!

    Mr Black, you are grumpy old sod of a scroogebag and for your sins I think you should come and wrap my presents, that will be my xmas wrapping trigger sorted.

    Thanks guys, you keep me grounded

    Fi xx

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