Here we go again!!

Oh dear! last time I was here I was so positive I had it nailed.... well, I didn't last long! So, for some reason (it's been on my mind for a while) I bought some nicotine gum in my lunch break today. I have about 6 fags left in a packet in my pocket but I am going to give the gum a go in a minute. I have quit too many times (well, 4!) and done it cold turkey which has been ok, but each time I find I start again quicker! The first time I quit for 4 years- the last time was just a few weeks...

So, ever the optimist, I'm going to try again! has anyone used the gum? Do you find it's helped? I'm having a wee panic just thinking about not having a fag and it's only been less than an hour since my last one. I stubbed it out then went to the chemist for the gum!

My biggest question really is how to stay stopped? Is it weakness that gets me puffing away again? Or does some adolescent part of me (bearing in mind I turned 40 last month) still associate smoking with being cool? Tragic if so, but something in me always seems to weaken.

46 Replies

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  • I think I'm pretty much the same, I quit and at the beginning its all new and exciting and something to focus on, Then as the weeks/months roll by I just think well I've got this licked I'm bored now and off I go to buy a packed of smokes.

    I'm hoping that this time I've realised my downfall and will be able to see it coming, Kick it up the arse and carry on as an ex/non smoker.

    I'm currently using the lozenges and yeah they work to reduce the physical crave but you still have to get past the mental association that everything you do will be better if you do it with a smoke!!

    I'm sure you will be fine, good luck

    Daren :)

  • Thanks! It's been less than an hour and I'm nervy already! So silly really, but it seems to get harder each time. This gum is vile, but I think I'll try using it for a while- I have done cold turkey before but just couldn't face it this time. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in a quit-start cycle. It's embarrassing. :(

  • Once I quit for three years and then started again. Stupid, I know. I think there several reasons people start again.

    1. (For me anyway) something bad happens and you think, I'm stressed, I need a cigarette. This time I know that having a cigarette isn't going to make anything better and will make things a whole lot worse in the long run. The problem will still be there to be dealt with.

    2. One won't matter. A sort of complacency I guess, that as you're now a non-smoker, just having one will be just that, one cigarette. But, as I now know, it doesn't work that that. The first cigarette doesn't stifle a craving or do anything for you as there isn't an addiction at that point to satisfy. It just starts the addiction cycle again. So, I'm now sure there's no such thing as 'just one cigarette' for me.

    3. Change of circumstances. For example going on holiday for a couple of weeks. It's as if you're a different person in a differnet environment, so it's like that different person can smoke for a couple of weeks, then you go back to being a non-smoker after the holiday.

    4. Alcohol. Got to be said - can make you do some very strange things while 'under the influence'.

    5. Depression. I'm sure being really down can be a contributor to smoking. I was reading that a high proportion of people who suffer with depression do smoke, whether it's because of the 'lift' that's given as the addiction is momentarily satisfied or a feeling of not being able to take control, I don't know.

    6. Peer pressure. I'm sure it must be so much harder to give up smoking if you are living in a smoking environment. The ease of access is so great.

    Think I'm beginning to ramble now. You just made me start thinking why people start again.

    Sue

  • All of the above for me at one time or another! Living with a smoker who has no intention of stopping is probably the worst bit- I know I can always pinch one! But that's my problem, not his- don't want to sound like I'm blaming him. New job, redundancy, kids taken to hospital, a nice afternoon in a beer garden, a new friend, all these things have triggered me in the past. Dear god, I'm going to have to live in a nunnery to avoid every situation that triggers a desire to smoke!

  • Good luck, its day 1 for me too after taking Champix .. We can do it, stay positve and confident and it'll be fine. Each time you have a craving or a thought just focus your mind on something else. Thats what I am doing and its working :)

  • My last quit was Number 3, I'd been quit for about 4/5 months then went on holiday to Egypt in May and decided exactly the same thing as you described. I was a different person in Egypt and could smoke for 2 weeks then stop again at the end of the holiday. I was that convinced I didn't buy any duty free but on the way home from the airport in the UK I stopped at a service station and bought 10!!!

    Its crazy isn't it, This time I'm aware of all of these downfalls and I'm hopefully ready to fight them.

  • I feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one who gets stuck in this ridiculous cycle! So, lets see how we do and try getting through day one- again!

    Soon it will be 3pm, normal fag break time- first hurdle coming! Then the walk to the bus stop after work, then the one when I get in the door- so many little things that just mean 'fag time' to me. Got to break the associations... Just got to get past the 3pm hurdle and I'm past the first barrier!

  • deedeebel. I think a lot of it is in the head, certainly is for me. On many occassion I have thought, 'no, thats it........soon', then finished the packet in the pocket and started smoking other peoples.

    I have spoken to loads of people who have quit, and read lots also (do that, I recommend it). You will quit if you want to quit ultimately, for your own reasons, in your own time, in a way that suits you. First few days are tough, you might find the NRT work for you, hope they do. Luck don't come into it though ;)

  • Hi Deedeebel :)

    Well done restarting your quit you must have joined about the same time as me last year

    I think you may need a refresher course to get the mind set right

    Below is my standard welcome and advice post which I try and give all new members

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here

    are 2 I found very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com

    Read,read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quitting whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Sympt...

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    Love

    Marg

  • ARRRGG! OK, that's better... I have just thrown my remaining fags in the bin, as well as my lighter. I feel bereft! Nuts eh? But, I have been looking at some websites which talk about the psychological side of smoking addiction, and Margareth is totally right, it's my head that needs setting right! I can't concentrate on work so am net surfing and just reading lots. It's less than 2 hours since my last fag and I'm agitated already! Before I've been quite calm when quitting, so I'm not sure why I'm feeling so angsty now. Maybe before in my head I wasn't quitting for good? Who knows. I'll stop rambling now! :o

  • Hi Deedeebel :)

    Well done fags in the bin so that's temptation out of the way for you

    Read the many links in our signatures as well as those I gave you and the posts on the forum for help

    Ramble all you like we don't mind at all

    Remember we've all been where you are now at some point so we've all rambled, moaned ranted and raved anything you can mention has been done on here Promise

    We don't care we'll help all we can all you have to do is ask for help OK and not smoke

    There all sorted for you

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Ha! That made me laugh! Well, it's past 3 and no smoke and I'm still alive, not gone mad or pulled my hair out- first hurdle! Now to just keep on keeping on. ramble ramble...

  • deedeebel,

    You sound like me, I have started and stopped but I have totally realized that I am NOT able to go cold turkey at all! I went to the store last night and bought the patches and slapped one on this morning first thing. Still had some cigs left but threw them away and gonna try the patch again.

    Good luck to you!

    Mic.

  • Hi Deedeebel :)

    YAY the first hurdle successfully climbed over well done and you haven't pulled your hair our ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh or died so it's all good

    Have a ramble keep going and when you get to the next hurdle climb that one and so one one step at a time Dee you can do it Promise

    Love

    Marg xx

  • deedeebel,

    You sound like me, I have started and stopped but I have totally realized that I am NOT able to go cold turkey at all! I went to the store last night and bought the patches and slapped one on this morning first thing. Still had some cigs left but threw them away and gonna try the patch again.

    Good luck to you!

    Mic.

    If NRT is the way to do it, then lets give it a go. Whatever works is fine by me! It's reprogramming the brain that takes a bit more work. Good luck to you too- sure we'll make it! Blimey, sounds like we're fighting some great war, not trying to resist the urge to light up! Such drama!!

  • Hi Deedeebel and Mich

    You are fighting a war the war is you against the Nico :eek: Demons

    But you're far stronger than them just keep saying no NO NO and you will both win the war we all have to fight for freedom from addiction

    Love

    Marg xxxx

  • Well, the demons are waiting for me as it's nearly time to walk to the bus stop- hurdle number 2! But hey, I shall resist, get home and instead of lighting up, I'll bubble up with a nice bubbly bath instead. Finally wash the fag smell off me- hopefully for the last time! 4 whole hours without a smoke- doesn't sound much, but it's a start. ;)

  • Hi Dee :)

    You're probably on your way to the bus now and hurdle number two will be done then get rid of the smell of smoke in a bubbly bath and that will be another two out of the way as you said you usually have one as soon as you get home

    It may only be four hours but that's a long time to us quitters at the start of a quit and as you say it's a start and a good one

    I shall be logging off for the night in a little while but I look forward to your post tomorrow morning

    If you need any help tonight just yell there's always someone around on here OK

    See you tomorrow

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Hi

    You are facing a battle - but it's one you can win. Each little victory is important - like that first walk from the bus stop without a cigarette. But when you've done it, you'll never have to do the *first* time again. Each *first* is a big step forward to reprogramming your behaviour and breaking the habit.

    Well done

    Sue

  • Day 1 for me

    Ok, I have one thing to say "YOU PEOPLE THAT GO COLD TURKEY, MY HATS OFF TO YOU"!!!!! I am at day 1 today BUT......I got a patch on. I made my daughter go to town with me last night and buy some, I tried to do CT but I am to weak, I admitt, no will power. So first thing this morning took my shower and slapped that patch on! I feel this is the only way I am going to be able to succeed if I have a patch on and this forum!

    Dee, hang in there, we can do this!!!!

    Mic.

  • Snap!

    Deedeebel......I can totally understand what you are going through! I could have written your post myself! Over the last 3 weeks I've quit about 7 times, caving in on day 2 or 3 each time.

    I then get fed up with myself for smoking, so douse all my remaining ones in water, throw them in the bin and have a nice hot bath so I no longer smell of fags and brush my teeth. I can then last up to about day 2, and then can't get the thought of having a fag out of my head. So what do I do - trot up to the shop to buy some! Arghhhh!

    I'm about to try to quit again - just trying to get mentally strong to defeat the nico :eek: demons once and for all!!

    I hope today is going ok for you........:)

  • Well people, I made it through the night (and I had a drink!) and then through the morning 'fag ritual' moments and I'm still not smoking! Woo hoo.

    Last night was a bit tricky, sat down to watch Eastenders, opened a nice cider- looked for the ashtray! It was odd, like there was a strange empty space there! So, I decided to move my cider glass over, rearrange the coffee table, and settled back to watch tv! Not so hard after all. A few random moments when I thought 'I'll just have a... oh' and so had a bit of gum.

    Been leaping over hurdles, now I've got the fresh day to get through, but feeling ok so far. No fag break at 11, so I will have a cup of coffee instead. leap, leap! How's you others doing today? :D

  • Hi Deedeebel :D

    Well done you're doing just fine keep leaping those hurdles just like you've been doing OK

    I'm pleased that rearranging the coffee table worked for you last night and having a drink as well that's a huge hurdle you leapt over with ease having a drink is a major trigger for lots of us on here

    Yes you'll have for more to jump today but you did it yesterday and you'll do it today as well

    Hang in there dee and keep leaping :D:D

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Grrr. Big fat stress situation at work just blown up in my face, so having a stress attack! But, am not smoking...just fuming! People really do pick their moments don't they? The consultant I work for (oh how hilarious) just patted me on the back and said 'bet you feel like having a smoke now'! Oh, I nearly died laughing. Grrrrrrr:mad:

  • I've just read thru this whole thread nodding my head and thinking yes, I've done that, I've been in that place, felt that way so many times.

    Sue has hit it on the head with her list of reasons we give ourselves to start smoking again. I think in the past I've done every single one, plus a few of my own weird reasons.

    This time I've managed to get to 12 days - the first time in 30 years that I've not had a sneaky smoke during a quit. What's changed for me is Champix, its really helped. I wasn't sure it would as I have tried everything (and I mean everything) on the market in my previous failed attempts.

    I'm sure you can all do it too. Use this forum often - its such a lifeline when the temptation for "just one" pops up (20 times a day for me).:eek:

  • Hi Dee and Mic,

    How are getting on?

    It's Day 1 for me tomorrow.

    Keep going, you are both doing really well.

    x

    P.S I can completely identify with all that you have said Dee.

  • Congratulations Boober on your new life tomorrow. Keep posting - we're all there for you.:p

  • Hi Boober!

    I'm here, having some rough spots but I have the patch on and taking one day at a time! I am a yo yo too, but I am tired of that and want to do it this time, I went to the deer lease this weekend and I was so out of breath walking to the deer stand it was embarrasing! So I am determined! Plus all this money I spent on the patchs....

    Good luck to you tomorrow, I'm pulling for you!

    Mic.

  • Sorry I Dee I feel like I have hijacked your post!!!!

    I'm feeling really fearful about not smoking tomorrow. In that past I have tried to go CT (and failed!) so this time I'm trying patches. I just know that it's going to be on my mind the whole time and I'm going to be lured into thinking - "hey, I could smoke today and try again tomorrow"! and so on... I do most of my smoking when at work so that's when I'm going to find it the hardest. I have a routine of when I go out for a fag so it's going to be a tough habit to break.

    As a recovering alchoholic, "one day at a time" is very important and thank you Mic for reminding me of that.

    x

  • Sorry I Dee I feel like I have hijacked your post!!!!

    I'm feeling really fearful about not smoking tomorrow. In that past I have tried to go CT (and failed!) so this time I'm trying patches. I just know that it's going to be on my mind the whole time and I'm going to be lured into thinking - "hey, I could smoke today and try again tomorrow"! and so on... I do most of my smoking when at work so that's when I'm going to find it the hardest. I have a routine of when I go out for a fag so it's going to be a tough habit to break.

    As a recovering alchoholic, "one day at a time" is very important and thank you Mic for reminding me of that.

    x

    Hijack away! So long as you're getting support and info I don't mind at all! I really hope tomorrow goes ok for you, I'll be thinking of ya. Am sure you'll do great, just remember the cravings aren't constant, they last a few minutes at the most so just distract yourself for those small pockets of time and you'll get through fine.

    I am still struggling, but well into day 6 so we CAN do this! :D

  • Well done

    Well done Dee on reaching Day 6. :)

    Keep going you are doing great.

    It's been 4 hours since my last cigarette and I can't stop thinking about having another one even though the last few I had tasted really awful and I hated every moment of it. It's funny how we forget how bad something is/was.

    x

  • Feeling very much like Dee.

    I think it's because I find it so easy to stop. Stoppped in october for 1 month and on the 30th day I had one. So stopped again, and again and again.

    In the last 2 weeks I have been stopping for 3 or 4 days and then started again!!

    I feel like I will never make it.

    My hubby smokes so there's always tobacco around...

    I really want to stop but feel that I can't stop for any lenght of time. Stopped again 30 minutes ago, hopefully for good this time, although I don't put my hopes up!

    Sandrine

  • Hi Sandrine

    Good to see you posting again.

    The fact that your here and still trying is a positive one. You'll find your way through it I have no doubts.

    Your not lying down and giving up..... that's a plus.

    All the best with the smoke free journey :)

    Pol

  • Hi Sandrine, Yep I'm in the same boat, OH smokes, I've stopped and started that many times. Takes me ages to get the right mind set to try and stop and only 1 little thing to bring it all undone. Found this forum has helped enormously this time. Facing day 6:eek:

    Deb

  • Ick, it's hard when you live with a smoker who is not interested in stopping! But, I'm nearly through day 11, so I'm thinking HEY, I'm now lurching towards 2 weeks! It can be done, just keep remembering why you wanted to stop. It's only a stinky stick full of cancerous, stenchy, poisonous old weeds- what's to love? What's to miss? OK, it's been a big part of our lives, but aren't we better, stronger, worth more than the stinky stick? Hell yes!

  • Well, thank you for your encouragements. I just wished, I read them earlier. Didn't have internet yesterday and got so upset that I smoked yesterday evening and 3 this morning. Then something happened and I thought: not only I let people upset me and then I destroy my health for it!! Doh!!

    So here we are, haven't smoked since 8am this morning (I never stopped after I had a few!!??:eek:), hoping I can keep it up.

    I need to go on this forum whenever I feel down because you're all so supportive. I need to learn that it's better to have a lozenge than a cig!!??

    I don't like patches so usually do it cold turkey. What happen if I take a gum or lozenge after a few days free?

  • Resisting!!

    Oh no, found some tobacco and hubby out so if I don't tell you I could cheat and waste 13 hours of my quit. Need to remember that if I can wait til spagetthi cooked, I can eat then hubby back then sleep then it will be 24 hour quit.

    Forum useful, keep concentrated while craving pass.

    Starting to feel moore relax, thank you forum:rolleyes:

  • Hey Sandrine,

    Good on you for giving it another shot. Yes you should come onto the forum in times of difficulty...but maybe that isn't possible. So, think ahead and make plans. You already know that you can cave.

    You ask about what would happen if you had gone a few days CT and then had a lozenge or gum. The simple fact of it is that you'll have reintroduced some nicotine back into your system. But hey, a lozenge or gum has gotta be a step forward from having a ciggy.

    Best wishes to you and your quit,

    Cav

  • Hi Sandrine

    Ignore the baccy and papers lying around, don't even tempt yourself with moving it. My OH still smokes in the evening at home and leaves it around. It was annoying at first but not so now.

    Oh boy the amnt of smokes I used to gauge the dinner from. Veg on and boiling - have a smoke. Spaghetti boiling, quick smoke. Oven up to temp, smoke. Get yourself a crossword puzzle book or suduko or something similar that you can do to wile away that 8-10 mins.

    NRT has it's uses, patches helped me in the first 2 or so weeks but then I'd had enough, found I was forgetting to put one on and then went without. After 10 days or so of managing OK I hit a bit of a wobbly evening. Had a lozenge, disgusting thing, it helped.... but I felt worse again over the next day or so and I knew nicotine had been reintroduced all be it on a much smaller cleaner method. Use what you need to do to help NRT wise but I honestly believe the sooner your off the stuff the better you and your body, cope.

    All the best and good luck with completing the first 24 hrs :)

    Pol

  • Thanks for the support. I manage to eat my diner and didn't have a cig!!! In the last couple of weeks, i would have just thought, oh well didn't have any today so a couple tonight won't make any difference!! But of course that mean, I'm still on day 1!!

    Thanks for the support on the NRT, I don't like patches, lozenge nor gum but think I should just carry them with me and maybe have one in desperate situation.;)

    Thanks again Cav and Pol for sticking around!

    Sandrine

  • Nice one, Sandrine. How crazy that must have been to think you'd done really well through the day and then chose to reward that by having a cig....doh!

    What Pol says here makes a lot of sense and especially having the nicotine cleared out of your system.

    After 10 days or so of managing OK I hit a bit of a wobbly evening. Had a lozenge, disgusting thing, it helped.... but I felt worse again over the next day or so and I knew nicotine had been reintroduced all be it on a much smaller cleaner method. Use what you need to do to help NRT wise but I honestly believe the sooner your off the stuff the better you and your body, cope.

    A few people carried around bottles of water and sipped water when they got a crave through their early days. I'm one of those people and at first it seemed a bit silly, but after awhile I got used to it and it then became automatic.

  • Good luck to all those on day 1 - hang on in there you're nearly at day 2 now.

    Dee you did so well at work today :)

    Stuffing my face with jelly babies now!

    We can do it together :)

  • Thanks Cav, you've got it!

    How crazy that must have been to think you'd done really well through the day and then chose to reward that by having a cig....doh!

    If it make more sense, I also felt guilty afterwards!!

    I think I'm completely twisted!!

    Really like the idea:)

    A few people carried around bottles of water and sipped water when they got a crave through their early days. I'm one of those people and at first it seemed a bit silly, but after awhile I got used to it and it then became automatic.

    Unfortunately, usually work outside and have no toilet facilities!!!

    Well done Shez on your first day!!

  • Unfortunately, usually work outside and have no toilet facilities!!!

    Didn't mean to laugh....but I did :)

  • quitting with Baccy around

    Hi and congrats on all of your continued efforts to stop!

    Just thought I'd share my thoughts on having tobacco around.

    Well, personally speaking, the last packet of drum/Golden Virginia that I bought is still sitting about 4 feet away from where I am now, complete with a pack of rizlas and a lighter. It's in a draw and I'll probably keep it around for years. I've not smoked in a while (5 months today) but weirdly I found it easier to stop knowing that I could if I wanted to. If I'd thrown it away I'd have rushed down to the 24 hr garage on day 1. It had to be a choice for me, I had to look at my smoking stuff (it stayed on my bedroom floor for the first three weeks) and think, nope, not going to smoke you now. I just let the minutes stretch into hours, the hours into days, the days into weeks, the weeks into months...

    I think it's so easy to get hold of tobacco that there's no point trying to stop by not having any at hand. Truly giving up is saying no when it's there , walking past the shop, turning a cig down on a night out etc.

    Having said that, I am very lucky that I don't live with smokers and am supported by my wonderful non-smoking gf.

    I tried to figure out how I'd actually managed to stop, and on , oh, about day three of not smoking I found this

    telegraph.co.uk/health/diet...

    It seemed to be saying exactly what I was thinking and it's the method that worked for me so I thought I'd past the link in case it's of any help.

    Good luck to you all and I'll check on your progress - I'm sure you can all do it.

  • Baccy around? Ooh no!

    Hi and congrats on all of your continued efforts to stop!

    Just thought I'd share my thoughts on having tobacco around.

    Well, personally speaking, the last packet of drum/Golden Virginia that I bought is still sitting about 4 feet away from where I am now, complete with a pack of rizlas and a lighter. It's in a draw and I'll probably keep it around for years. I've not smoked in a while (5 months today) but weirdly I found it easier to stop knowing that I could if I wanted to. If I'd thrown it away I'd have rushed down to the 24 hr garage on day 1. It had to be a choice for me, I had to look at my smoking stuff (it stayed on my bedroom floor for the first three weeks) and think, nope, not going to smoke you now. I just let the minutes stretch into hours, the hours into days, the days into weeks, the weeks into months...

    I think it's so easy to get hold of tobacco that there's no point trying to stop by not having any at hand. Truly giving up is saying no when it's there , walking past the shop, turning a cig down on a night out etc.

    Having said that, I am very lucky that I don't live with smokers and am supported by my wonderful non-smoking gf.

    I tried to figure out how I'd actually managed to stop, and on , oh, about day three of not smoking I found this

    telegraph.co.uk/health/diet...

    It seemed to be saying exactly what I was thinking and it's the method that worked for me so I thought I'd past the link in case it's of any help.

    Good luck to you all and I'll check on your progress - I'm sure you can all do it.

    I'm total opposite! Had to get rid of all my smoking guff on the first day! Still have oh's stuff, but he keeps it in his office area (well, small open cupbord in the lounge!) so it's not in front of me- but it is only about 10 feet away! I hate that, I wish he would keep it locked in a secret cupboard so I never had to see them! Silly probably, but I do not like to think I could reach out in a moment of wekness and grab a fag.

    Sandrine, I hope you're doing ok now, and have resisted temptation. Best of luck XX

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