Here we go again

I've been smoking for about 10 years, but managed to give up for 9 months after my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. She has since made a full recovery and is also now a non-smoker. Idiotically, this awful drug has me in its grips again, I think I've been smoking properly for about 2 months now. I have been kicking myself daily and I'm extremely, extremely angry with myself for letting it happen.

But whats the use getting angry? Do something about it.

So I had my last ever fag around midnight last night, and I'm half way through the 1st day now. The pangs are there but so far manageable. I've been here before so I know exactly what to expect. My brain will try anything and everything to trick me into having just one cig. The pangs will keep building up to the point that having a smoke is just far easier than not smoking.

I'm going on holiday in 5 days so I want a good few days smoke free before then. I really, really do not want to be smoking my guts out by the side of the pool and waking up the next day feeling like my chest has been sat on by an elephant. I can quite easily smoke 40 - 60 fags a day whilst on holiday.

So here we go again. This time I will not give in again.

10 Replies

  • Hi

    Good luck on your quit.You can do it. Are you using any NRT to help you through it?.

    Good news on your mum making a full recovery.:)

    Barb x

  • Welcome nic,

    Phew!! so good to hear your mum made a full recovery! thats not something you hear everyday!!

    Ah holiday! nice one, abroad? great to not have to dash off the plane and huff and puff through customs so as to get outside for a smoke! :D

    Good luck and stay strong ~Buffy x x

  • Thanks =) My mum had an 8" tumour in one of her lungs, her fingernails turned to near claws due to lack of oxygen, she lost half a lung and had several months of extremely sickly chemo. Even going through all of that it wasn't easy for either of us to stop smoking, thats how evil this drug really is. 9 months later when I really and truly thought I was free I started having the odd fag on a night out, and that was that, slowly but surely I began buying for myself again and was addicted.

    I've been reading Allen Cars Easyway to Stop Smoking and he categorically tells you not to use any NRT as it essentially prolongs the agony and in your mind makes you believe you are missing something, when in fact you aren't. I stopped last time cold turkey and plan to do the same this time, but I guess its different for everyone. I'd recommend that book, it is a bit obvious in places, but has some very strong arguments in it. I suppose I read it to try and get to the bottom of why I have gone back to it after so long. Not sure I've found that answer yet.

    How long have you two been off the fags?

  • I quit feb 27th, i was rushed into hospital with pneumonia, being too ill to smoke for weeks! so had no knowledge of withdrawals as i was drugged up to the eyeballs and slept for nearly 3 weeks hehe

    I was terrified by the whole experience and didn't want to end up living like i was in hospital with oxygen and IVs'.

    I was trying to figure out my next quit date! that was that sorted! lol so it's been more than 4 months now.

    I quit before with patches and like you went 8 months and figured i could have the odd 'social smoke' :rolleyes: d'uh

    So i am cold turkey accidentally!!! i much preferred NRT to be honest, I quit cold turkey before and cried for 4 days, I was terribly anxious too, it was horrible!! I went back to smoking on the 5th day!

    Whether it was psychological or whatever the patches made for a much smoother quit! :D

    Thats my experience though x x It really is very different for different people, guess thats why there isn't 'One Way' to quit.

    Gosh, that 8" tumour and nails! she really is a fortunate lady to be here today!

    ~Buffy x x

  • WElcome NIc

    So lovely to hear your mum well again after lung cancer I lost my mum 9 years ago to the same thing very lucky lady well done love to her.

    Congrats on the quit ct thats brave good luck I smoked 40 a day myself but not one puff since 13/3 No smoking day.Keep posting and let us know how your doing Linda xxx

  • First day done! Not been as bad as i expected. Just the continual urge at the back of my mind to just have one.. Like an empty feeling. Oh well it will pass eventually.

  • On to day 2 for you. Well done.

    I am on day 33 2morrow. I went onto 2nd stage patch 2day.

    I used to get real bad urges to smoke , but they have become alot easier now, and alot less frequent.

    Keep up the good work.

    Barb x

  • Well done x x x x major hurdle accomplished :D

    Its like growing out of a friendship. It hurts at first but gets easier as time passes, life goes on, you never forget but it gets easier x x

    I have friends like like that! and they are in the past, not in my future and theres good reason for that ;)

    ~Buffy x x

  • hi there

    so lovely to read that your mum made a full recovery from such an awful illness. ive lost an aunt a grandad and a friend to that. did you give up after your mum was diagnosed? just wondering if its the brain convincing you that now shes recovered its ok to smoke again, if you know what i mean. it may sound crazy but the brain is such a powerful thing, i give up for 3 weeks last year -just over 2 of those was straight after being told my chest xray had some markings on it by my gp and that i should give up smoking and hope that it improves or else it will start affecting my lungs and she mentioned things like emphysemia. i was a paronoid wreck and done cold turkey the minute i came out of the surgery. after a couple of weeks i went back to see a different gp about another matter and she mentioned it being good my xray results had come in normal, i obviosly questioned this (as i was lead to believe different) she printed results for me and said that what i had was a marked increase in broncho-pulmonary markings, but still classed as normal for a smoker of my age and regularity. of course i felt so relieved but i lasted about 3 more days on my quitting (which i was actually doing well with by that time) my brain got the better of me im afraid, its was kind of "oh well im ok now , nothings wrong so i can carry on smoking " absolutley bonkers but its why so many people do get something go wrong for real before they quit instead of quitting before anything gets chance to happen. wondering if you going back to smoking after all that time when you didnt think you would , could be of a similar thing.

    so glad your on this site and your giving it another go. all the very very best x

  • Nic well done for getting through your first day... I don't know if you'll read this as I'm guessing you've now moved onto ''Day 2'' lol.

    But anyway I just want to wish you all the luck in the world... not like you need it hun you CAN do this!!

    And if you ever want to speak to someone going through the quitting smoking thing too then I'm on Day 1 today :)

    Only 2.5 hrs in but hey it's progress for me!!

    xxx jane xxx

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