I've been smoking for about 10 years, but managed to give up for 9 months after my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. She has since made a full recovery and is also now a non-smoker. Idiotically, this awful drug has me in its grips again, I think I've been smoking properly for about 2 months now. I have been kicking myself daily and I'm extremely, extremely angry with myself for letting it happen.
But whats the use getting angry? Do something about it.
So I had my last ever fag around midnight last night, and I'm half way through the 1st day now. The pangs are there but so far manageable. I've been here before so I know exactly what to expect. My brain will try anything and everything to trick me into having just one cig. The pangs will keep building up to the point that having a smoke is just far easier than not smoking.
I'm going on holiday in 5 days so I want a good few days smoke free before then. I really, really do not want to be smoking my guts out by the side of the pool and waking up the next day feeling like my chest has been sat on by an elephant. I can quite easily smoke 40 - 60 fags a day whilst on holiday.
So here we go again. This time I will not give in again.