Here we go again!

I'm sick of re-starting this process and must complete, so here we go this is my third attempt this month!

Woke up feeling strong this morning which was great as I planned this to be my next quit day so onwards and upwards and hopefully I'll be hitting the later pages of this forum real soon.

On another plus note I'm only 15 hours in or so but I already feel healthier! Long may it continue :)

Best of luck to all the first timers and re-quitters out there !

Take care.

J.

15 Replies

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  • Thanks Max.

    This time for keeps!

    To be honest I can't believe people come on here for the fun of it ....I truly believe that if they do come on they come on for genuine support and the platform to rant etc...

    If someone fails a number of times but continuously tries to quit I think there is merit in that as they could just go on smoking or just remain anonymous should they so wish. There may well be circumstances we know nothing about causing them to re-start but I'm not here to judge only to get and offer support where possible.

    All the best J.

  • Johnny. You can do this. The desire to smoke will hit you, but you can keep focused and make sure that your desire to NOT smoke is stronger. If you grit your teeth and hang in there, it will get easier and easier, I swear.

    GO FOR IT!

    Oh, and by the way...

    Welcome back mate ;)

    I have heard a rumour from a little bird-and it may be untrue-that those who start and fail and start and fail more than a certain number of times,will be asked to leave the site beacuse they are just playing at it..

    I am absolutely certain this isn't true!! The moderators are not in a position to make that kind of judgement call on whether a person is really trying or not.

  • Jonnie, Max, Hellesbelles..... I really tried to let this one pass without comment but found that I just can't do it! (imagine that). :eek:

    So here goes:

    This is the 2nd or 3rd comment I have read on here within the last 24 hours doggin those who may be having a harder time giving up nicotine and finding a way that works for them to stay focused and on the path.

    I called myself a serial quiter yesterday as a joke for F sake. If you look at the numbers, from the time of my original quit it has been exactly 50 days with my first failure at 27 days and my 2nd at 5 days and now I am at day 2 again. This is hardly starting and stopping daily.

    I am really sorry to say this but I find it to be insulting and very unwelcoming for anyone to suggest that you only get so many tries and that's it. Does anyone here really think that folks have nothing better to do then play games with the "serious" quitters? Absoulute bulls**t that is!!! :mad:

    My suggestion to those that feel that any member is NOT serious about their quit is to just be silent and leave them be to those folks that want to offer them a helping hand. Just that simple... I am with Helle as we cannot start making a determination of who is fit to be here, that is just not fair.

    If anyone is offended by my post then I can only offer my sincerest apologies and move on I guess.....

    Let's give everyone as many chances as they need and be here to support every person that comes here to learn how to become a non-smoker.

    Sorry, one more point I would like to make if I may and that is I have often wondered how many people here have had a slip up and just don't admit to it because they don't want to start over at the beginning. I would rather have admitted my failures than to have lied to you all and myself.

    Nuff said................. :)

  • Sherri, you have a perfect right to say that, and I must say I agree with you.

    First off let me say that the people on this site do a fantastic job of supporting each other. I don't think people really intend to come across as judgemental. But I think a little more caution is needed.

    I do understand that when you 'get' your own quit it can be frustrating to watch someone fall off the wagon repeatedly. But I think we must remember that we've all been there, and we are all still one cigarette - one moment of madness - away from being right back to the habit.

    It's hard to really know somebody on an online forum, we cannot be inside somebody else's head. So it is really important to try not to make remarks which can be hurtful or negative - that can be really damaging to someone who IS trying hard but who feels like a failure. If you're really frustrated, it's best just to be quiet, as you say, and leave it to others to do the supporting.

    As Jonny says, the majority who fall off the wagon don't come back and post because they're embarrassed. We should do our utmost to encourage those who are brave enough to pick up the pieces and publicly admit defeat and their intention to try again. I've seen a lot of serial quitters on this site, and the majority have made it eventually.

    Everyone has their sticky quit in them. We all owe it to each other to keep giving support until we find it.

  • That's a lovely post Hels, and I agree with you.

    Those who don't feel able to offer support to those who are struggling can always avoid those threads, though I appreciate they must feel very frustrated.

  • Max no definately not trying to start a revolution lol. Sorry, just made me mad to think that people really aren't trying because I think they are.

    Hellesbelles, I agree with everything you said 100%, thank you for putting it so much more eloquently than I did :o

    It is frustrating and embarrassing for people to admit they weren't good enough or strong enough to do as well as their peers. I just want to stand up for them that's all. No harm no fowl, I am all good!! :)

  • First off - congrats for coming back Jonny!

    I'm in two camps on this, having had failed quits of 18 months to 2 hours - I could be/am described as a serial quitter.

    I think that no-one on here, my opinion, is not serious about their quit - they took the time to find this forum and take time to post afterall. Some people are bound to have slipped and not admitted - it's human nature.

    It's about getting your mind in the right place and feeling equipped to deal with it.

    I don't like the idea of limiting people's attempts on here - it doesn't smack of being supportive. Its the old carrot and stick - and I always felt that this place offered more carrot than stick - whilst the other site is more the stick of no nicotine...ever (including NRT).

    I do however believe that peeps (myself included) need to think very carefully, if they are not already doing so, before declaring a quit - many cannot be managed on a whim.

    Thats my thoughts neway.

  • Chris,

    I do totally agree with your point about being ready to give it another go and maybe that is the balance we can strike by suggesting to people that they try and be ready and in the right place to start over before jumping back in on a whim???

    Thoughts.....

  • IMO understanding and acknowledging the reasons for failure guides you (and many others reading about your struggles) towards the right path and state of mind. I really hope you and I make it this time. See you at the penthouse, eh?

    Roosa.

  • Yes, I agree with those points Chris and Sherri. I have personally 'declared a quit' (love that phrase!) when I've clearly not been in the right place. I think it can be easy to get carried away with all the excellent positivity on the forum before really examining one's own motivation.

    Kat- agree! And it must be hard for more experienced posters to get the 'right' tone for that individual at that moment. Low self-esteem isn't helpful for would-be quitters but there's only so many times a poster can keep trying to inject their own positivity into someone else, so I can see why it is difficult for those who are experiencing success.

  • :) Wow I am so please to see that this thread has gone from being fire storm of sorts lol (Sorry Mad Max) to really positive and a great exchange of idea's!

    All excellent points to be sure and I guess I hadn't looked at the possible frustration on the part of some senior members that are trying to help some who either aren't ready or can't get there yet.

    Thank you to everyone and most importantly to Jonnie who needs our support right now. Jonnie you may really need to take a look at why the quit is failing so quickly and what things can be done differently to succeed.

    Shout out anytime ;)

    ~Sherri

  • Wow ...That got interesting didn't it!

    Thanks for all the great ideas and really helpful points of view.

    Jonny

  • Yeah I guess it did.....bad Max ;) ha ha ha

    Like I said though some great stuff in there.

  • Jonny

    Welcome back again, we love a trier! Please let this quit be 'the one'

    Fi x

  • I have heard a rumour from a little bird-and it may be untrue-that those who start and fail and start and fail more than a certain number of times,will be asked to leave the site beacuse they are just playing at it..

    That is absolutely not the case, your little bird is singing out of tune! Many people have had several unsuccessful attempts and it doesn't really matter how many, if they wish to try again they will always be welcome and supported.

    Think we need to be careful what we post on this subject as not everyone will agree with everyone else.Some biting of lips is required.

    Anybody been here long enough to remember the 'Forum Wars'

    Happened about 2 years ago I think (might be out there) and I saw a few old sweats mention them.Basically a big falling out all round and people slagging each other off left right and centre as far as I know.Dont want a repeat of that do we.

    The so called forum wars were in early 2008 and are the reason that moderators were introduced, it was a time of great silliness and the forum was shut down for about a week to clear up the mess. Nothing like that will happen again as there are now "staff" to make sure things don't get out of hand like that ever again.

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