Even now....

[nsd_user663_3633]

I'm approaching 14 months without a single puff on a cigarette.

That line there proves it. I still define myself by how long I have not smoked - like it is some kind of massive thing. Because it is. It is still the biggest thing I have ever done for myself, smoking is still a huge part of my life.

I can look back months to the last time I really wanted to have a cigarette - but tonight in a pub (slightly tipsy), I wanted one. I really wanted one. I very nearly bought a single cigar in fact.

It was very strong, very strong indeed. Not a craving, of course I am long past the physical cravings for nicotine. Not a trigger, I have been in pubs and bars so many times that the situation doesn't bother me in the slightest.

No, this was just a want. I was buying a pint and I saw the tobacco and cigars behind the counter. Why this is different to the "tailor made" machine near the toilets I don't know - but it is.... I just wanted to smoke. For the first time in months.

Of course I didn't - that would be stupid, but I really wanted to. So badly that I had to go to the toilet and talk to myself in the mirror.

I think that it is about 9-10 months since I looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud.... "I am a nicotine addict. To remain free of my addiction I must do one simple thing - I must not put nicotine into my body. So, today, I choose not to smoke"

So - I am on the forum to do the same thing I did for a very long time to get past these kinds of moments.... I'm here to tell you all about it. To celebrate the fact that I struggled and won.

I am still proud to be a non smoker - and this was just another step on the road to freedom, I guess.

Thanks for listening.

[nsd_user663_5956]

Stuart

I have just read your mail and am so proud of you even though I have never met you. Just read your story to my husband and warned him this is going to happen to me.

Well done Stuart, you have been an inspiration to me tonight just when I was on the forum and needed help.

[nsd_user663_4121]

Stuart............. very glad you didn't succumb but then I never thought you would. You've come too far and you know way too much about this addiction to stumble now but I know how you must have felt since I had a wee moment like that myself just the other day, it was a very strong desire which was luckily downed by common sense.............. the same common sense that you apparently have. Those moments suck and they sure are confusing but luckily they pass quickly.

Has it been almost 14 months already for you? Congratulations, Stuart! I am way not worried about you

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Stuart

I am so proud of you and what you have done since you stopped smoking also proud that you got through that I WANT TO SMOKE moment last night I know how hard those moments can be though I haven't had one for a long time the last was when I did some work in the garden in early summer

You were and are my inspiration for this quit, you and the forum kept me fighting through the bad days and gave me strength when I needed it

You struggled and you won last night just as I know you will if or when this happens again

So as that bloke on the telly used to say WELL DONE MY SON

Love

Mum xxx

[nsd_user663_3633]

Thanks guys - I guess it just shows that you have to keep your guard up, eh?

Dee - my situation last night proves the value of education. That's what gives me the determination I needed, even this far down the road. Learn about the addiction, get the hatred of it engraved in your head. Realise that being free of it is massively important. And just keep going, with the knowledge that failure isn't an option. There is no valid excuse.

Mum, thank you - almost there yourself. 13 days to the penthouse - can't wait to welcome you. I can't describe how proud I am of you.

[nsd_user663_4847]

Thanks for posting that Stuart, it makes it *normal* to have these moments even after as long as you've been quit. Rather than hiding the fact away. Well done you for not giving in.

Your post has also made me re****yse what I'm feeling when I *want* a cigarette, it's rarely a crave, it's the wish for that *feeling* that satisfying the addiction gave me. Having that first smoke won't cure that addiction, I'll need to become fully hooked again to start feeling the relief of the nicotine again, sure I've read about this on whyquit or woofmang's site.

With that in mind - will try to find the post and put a link in somewhere.

[nsd_user663_4991]

Well Done Stuart

Hi Stuart , just read your article and I have to say for the last few days I have on a few occasions fancied a cig , particularly in the evening after a meal. I hasten to add these were thoughts of I fancy one and not craving for one , have to have one , etc.

I am glad that I can quickly overcome these thoughts as I know just one moment of weakness and I will have failed and consequently will come back on here again with a post entitled day 1 :mad:.

I suppose we are all at risk of failure even when we have been stopped a significant length of time as our reasons for stopping may become cloudy, I personally look upon them to assist me in dispelling the fancy of a poison stick.

You did well !!

Trev

Quit 28th April 2009

3 months patches

3 months and 1 week C.T:cool:

[jackieinv]

Just goes to show how we keep the memory. Well done Stuart and thanks for sharing.

Jackie

[nsd_user663_1733]

Just read this stu and so glad i did cos today have had this same feeling three times. To be honest thought i was going mad and told nobody. Dont really understand why. But its made me understand how some people cave after so long. just takes one time to give in to the moment. Well done Stu.xxxxx

[nsd_user663_5956]

Thanks

Stuart thanks for those words I have printed what you said and will keep it in my handbag for when I "want" a cigarette.

Thanks again

[nsd_user663_3633]

Stuart thanks for those words I have printed what you said and will keep it in my handbag for when I "want" a cigarette.

Thanks again

You're very welcome - I hope it helps.

[nsd_user663_4026]

only just seen this Stu. Thanks for posting, its truly a word to the wise and i'm proud (though would never doubt you) that you resisted. xx