Urgent help please

I got in from work about an hour ago and the moment I walked through the door I absolutely 'lost' it with my OH. Poor thing hadn't done anything but try to help me but for no reason I became a banshee- yelling and screaming and saying some really unkind things for no reason at all.

I stormed of in the car with the intention of buying a packet of fags but halfway to the shop I turned the car around and came home.

I apologised to my OH who has been great and very understanding - but at one point he told me to smoke again because he couldn't stand the agro. He is a non smoker and always has been.

The cravings today have been absolutely terrible. I want to continue with the quit but don't know if I can. I just want to cry. Is there anyone out there who has suffered like this.

12 Replies

  • I will be on day 7 tomorrow, Jim.

  • I'm not quite sure why we choose to abuse our other 'arf's the way we do while in them early days of a quit.. but we do unjustifiably let 'em have it don't we eh?

    but here's a gem of wisdom for you... when you start to feel things bubbling and becoming a bit heated between you .. just excuse yourself from the room and go and lie down for 15-20 mins. If you fall asleep for half n hour so be it. I did this quite alot on the first 2-3 weeks of my quit.. i knew i could be probably the most unreasonable grouchy and overly angry person while quitting.. you know this now too.. so take steps to take a time out when you find things starting to boil up a bit.

    Apologising in advance works wonders too.. i told my OH on quite a few nights.. 'i'm really sorry if i say anything thats out of order tonight, no matter what, please ignore it and i love you, all this will be over with soon enough'. its simple re-assurance, but saying those words beforehand helps both of you.

    Hang in there, god knows its tough, but lets work on minimising the casualties.

    Check out my signature for some handy tips too.. some good info to read in them links i've got.. and when your done with them check out some of the other links on folks signatures around this forum.. you might just understand these moods that bit better.

    Quitting takes it out of you mentally and physically though, so don't be surprised if your tired AND tetchy . Sadly quite common while quitting.


  • hi, i found myself suffering the same as you when trying to quit ct. breaking down in tears more than being angry though.

    The new niquitin 21mg patches seem to be helping a bit this time though, but still requiring a lot of will power and lots of walking about to take the cravings away.

    You can do it!! just keep up the great work

  • Thank you - I will check out your tips. I do feel as if I've been pulled through a wringer and absolutely shattered. Lying down is a great idea as is apologising in advance. Feel a little better now.

  • Just know your not alone while quitting, theres folk on here alot of the time who have gone through what you have, i know i sure did. Your emotions get a bit up and down while quitting, and it can be quite exhausting too.. but always keep hopeful of the days and weeks to come which will be far far better.

    You have to go through it, to come through it. < i got told this years ago by a friend when i was struggling with other things in life.. and its good reasoning.

    Just know there is better times on the way and it won't always be quite so fraught with these big mood swings. (anger/sadness)

    good luck and good on you for taking the step quit smoking.

  • So glad to hear you are feeling better, can't really add anything to what has been said, just keep your chin up if you can. Have a bath, early night, cry as much as you need.

    Sharing it all here I found really helped.

  • Hi Soosy,

    Well done to you for getting towards the end of that tricky first week. And reading through this thread just shows how you can be tearing your hair out one minute and then the next be so much calmer.

    Okay, it was 16 minutes between your first post and the one where you said you felt better. But you got through it, that's the main thing. And now you will be better equipped to get though a similar episode next time it occurs, if it occurs.

    Can't remember the number of times I've set off to "get a damned pack of cigs and smoke myself silly" - but I've stopped myself each time. And each time it gets a little easier.

    Keep it up, you're doing great.


  • Hi Soosy

    See we quit on the same day by the same method, allen carr and CT. I agree with you have been on the verge of dashing off and buying baccy, but havent, like you didnt. Well done to you, its Day 6 for us both tomorrow, surely we arent going backwards after all this. Dont know about you but I have gone to hell and back this week, really had no idea what 40 years of fags had done to me !!!! Could do with your support as well.

    Keep going

  • nurture yourself soosy

    All i can advise is the little miracle i stumbled upon. New Visions "MIND" Antioxidant drink.

    It literally changed my world as far as craving are concerned. check out my blog below

    You can also try deep breathin excercises they really help as Alan Carr says in his book the deep breaths taken when inhaling on cigarettes is the same as the deep breaths taken in meditation when we relax, which is why we get stressed and then reach for the smokes. Get back to the real way to calm down, yr body will love it the more u do this!

    I do these at least three times a day and they really help.

    The Breathing Ratio is 1:4:2


    Breathe in for a count of 4.

    Hold for a count of 16.

    Exhale for a count of 8.

    Do this 10 times in one session.

    You inhale deeply through your nose, deep into the lower abdomen first, filling your lungs from the bottom to the top.

    Avoid shallow breaths into the top of your lungs. Make the breaths deep into the abdomen. Place your hands on your lower belly and feel your belly expand when inhaling. This is a good practice if you are not used to breathing like this, so that you can get use to how it feels.

    This is how we are supposed to breathe. Most people, when breathing throughout the day, breathe very shallow and when asked to take a deep breath you will see their shoulders rise first. This is WRONG! It is because they are only breathing into the tops of their lungs. The lower part of your lungs are larger and obviously you absorb more oxygen when you breathe with your lower abdomen. Be aware of how you breathe throughout the day and correct your breathing whenever you can. Your body will quickly respond.

    Do the same when exhaling. empty the lower abdomen of oxygen first, by contracting the lower belly with the exhale of breath through the mouth.

    Remeber you want to learn to stay calm and manage yr stress.

    I hope u find help with this advice. ;)

  • Hi Soosy, Glass, Dee :D

    Well done all of you you're doing just fine hang in there

    These things will all pass the wanting to cry anger whatever are all normal especially early in a quit and most of us take it out on those closest to us of course

    Apologise and tell them that whatever you say to hurt is not meant, tell them when you have a rough time or a bad crave whatever it will help them to understand what you're going through just now

    Sleep if and when you need to even a 5 minute doze helps drinking water daft as it sounds really does help with the craves as well

    Read the many links in our signatures for more help and to help you understand the nature of your addiction and the power it holds for you at the moment

    I promise it does get better and much easier the further you go in your quits



  • Keep it up, it can be tough but its worth it. I wanted to beat a bunch of people up my first month LOL. Slow breathing and the I think I can, I know I can train mantra goes a long way.:)

  • I have been there - on more than 1 occasion except my OH was going through exactly the same as we had both give up at the same time. I thought my quit was worse than his and I thought shouting and screaming at him and the kids was justified. It meant some very hairy scary times for us and although we are not over the worst of it we are getting better. I have learnt to come home from work and go and lie down for half an hour just to chill out. So what if the house isnt as tidy as I would like it to be, so what if the tea is not on the table straight away - no one is going to die because of it.

    Keep your chin up and make sure you apologise, even if its as soon as you walk in - take yourself off somewhere out of the way if you even feel remotely angry or upset.

    Your doing this for the greater good and you are doing briliantly

    Jayne x

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