Dealing with the 'Pub Problem'....

[nsd_user663_3884]

So, i'm in week 3 of my quit.

Last night i went to the pub for the first time since i stopped smoking. And i didn't smoke. But boy, was it difficult. Came very close to caving on my way home, but thankfully i didn't.

What i found particularly difficult was not having the means to get away from the crowd on a regular basis. I am not someone who is particularly comfortable socially, and smoking to me has always been a way to escape the throng and have a few minutes to gather myself on a night out. I found it hard not having that crutch available to me any more, and as a consequence i found myself withdrawing from the conversation as the night went on. I didn't feel like myself, i had no chat at all and didn't feel like i could be sociable like i normally would without my means to 'get away' every 45/1hr or so.

Looking back, this reminds me of my previous major quit. I didn't smoke for 3 years a while back, but the more i think about it the more i see how reclusive i became over that time. I really stopped going out and so******ing and going to the pub with my mates. Without even realising it, i simply stopped putting myself in the situation where i would want to smoke without ever actually solving the real issue. And as a result became a person i didn't really want to be. I guess i'm scared that i'll end up going back to that.

So my question here is how did/do YOU deal with the whole pub problem? or with any of these social situations where smoking was so much part of how you were as a person? I think it's a pretty common area where people fail in their quit, so for those who have managed to get past this, i'd be interested to hear how you did it.

EDIT: That starred out word is 'S o c i a l i s i n g' btw. I have no idea why that word would be blocked. How very strange....

[nsd_user663_4964]

LOL, perhaps so******ing is a seriously bad trigger word??

Yea, the pub, or rather, alcohol is my downfall every single time.

My only suggestion is it takes time to overcome the association, just like say, after a meal, or with a coffee, or in the morning. I suppose the more times you /we do it the easier it wil get.

It's a really hard one though. I can only drink alcohol at home on my own (not much either, probably just as well !) or I did recently manage to do it(a coupke of glasses of wine ) with a non smoker and a very discreet smoker, by distracting myself with the trivia machine and a kebab on the way home.

I don't have any advice, cos its a hard one, apart from not going out with a bunch of smokers, who'll tell you you can have just one! and not getting too drunk. I wonder if I'll eveer get drunk again.

[nsd_user663_4785]

Hi Tedmaul

I have suffered from panic attacks for many years when I'm in a situation where there are lots of people. The smoking ban was great for me as it gave me an excuse to go outside every so often and have a fag and some fresh air and then go back in. This is just my third week so I have only been out a couple of times since I stopped but I just did what I used to as a smoker I just said " going out for some air" went outside, didn't have a fag but had some air and a few mins to myself than went back in. Nobody batted an eyelid and I dont know that anyone even noticed.

Don't shut yourself away just do what makes you comfortable and still allows you to join in

Carol xx

[nsd_user663_4964]

Lol, i tried typing S P E C I A L I S T in another thread and it did the same thing .

******

C I A L I S

a new bad word.

[nsd_user663_3633]

C I A L I S

That word is a drug often touted by online/email scammers, and thats why it's censored.

However, the auto word filter on this forum is somewhat less than intelligent :rolleyes:

[nsd_user663_4754]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tadal...

funny stuff - if you dont need it!

which we probably all will if we continue smoking. anyhow....

still need advice / help with this.

heres how the train of thought goes in my head.

1. doing pretty well not smoking - thats great

2. have cut down drinking loads from not smoking - thats great

3. feeling great about not smoking and drinking

4. been a few days since ive had a drink - sure im aloud and will enjoy one.

5. drink - great - enjoying it. no need to smoke - easy

6. another drink - great etc

7. another drink - fine

8. another drink - hmmm maybe want a ciggie. thats cool, ill just have another drink.

9. you know the deal from here. its all about wanting a ciggie.

the point is. when if ever is this going to stop. i mean i can cope for 3 months, 6 if necessary.

but eventually its gonna get to me.

any advice - massively required and grateful for.

[nsd_user663_4847]

Honestly.....

In all honesty I can't drink the way I did in the past, when smoking, the pleasure is not the same. About a week after giving up went out with some friends who smoked and it was ok but only had 4 pints and was pretty drunk.

My only advice is be prepared to leave when it gets to the stage when the real reason your drinking is to give yourself the excuse that it's ok to smoke. Regardless of what our drunken minds tell us it is a choice and we have decided to smoke.

I think in the future I may drink as I have in the past, not particulary proud of it though, so beginning to view the stopping smoking thing as having an additional bonus of not drinking like a loon.

[nsd_user663_3633]

The first few times I went drinking without smoking was quite difficult - we all know how deeply engrained that particular association is.

However like anything, practice makes perfect.

The first time you encounter almost any situation as a non smoker it will be difficult - the 2nd time a little easier and after a few times it becomes second nature.

Think of it like learning to drive. You have 2 feet to operate 3 pedals, 2 hands to operate a lot of controls and while you are concentrating HARD on doing all of that you need eyes in the back of your head too.

After a while you don't even have to think about it anymore, do you?

Practice facing these urges, and it will become easier - I promise.

(I'm sat at my desk with a slight headache this morning to prove it )

[nsd_user663_4026]

strangely, after avoiding drink (and being a rubbish drinker in my smoking days anyway) I have suddenly found a new enjoyment for it! Wine, gin, vodka, beer. It all tastes a bit nicer now I don't smoke! Took 6 months to pluck up the nerve and practice it with vigour, but stu is right. Its another trigger and a few good goes at it soon sorts it out!