Help!

I'm a newbie but have been reading for 38 days since going cold turkey on the 5th of May. I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong though. The cravings, although not as many, are intense and I have this all encompassing anger that I cannot control, shouting to the point of screaming. I have been positively vile with anyone including my Neurologist this morning (I have epilepsy) who has passed me onto another Doctor, I'm devasted as I have been with him for over 2 years since diagnosed me with MS in January 2007 (I'm not a walking wreck honest, the two go hand in hand apparently) I'm not stressed over the conditions so these are not fueling anger but I have felt 'wired' since giving p. I have stopped 3 times now the longest being 3 years and I am so afraid I will go back to them if I don't calm down. I feel there is no way out. If I don't smoke I get stressed and that causes more seizures and I don't want to smoke. Please please help me get through this. Sorry to post such a long note but I'm desperate.

12 Replies

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  • HIya Darcydog. It must be horrible for you, when you know that's not the real you coming out. I'm sorry but I have no idea what you can do. If I were in your shoes I think I would try some mild NRT treatment, then you would be taking nicotine again wouldn't you. Sorry I'm not much use, thinking of you though. David

  • Hi Darcydog :)

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Well done on your 38 day quit so far you're doing great, as for the smoking HELPS stress thing I'm sorry but that is just a fallacy put out by the tobacco companies, smoking helps absolutely nothing and no one except the tobacco companies

    Please read through the links and posts on here they really will help you to understand what's happening and the addiction which we all have to fight on our way to freedom

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    All the Best

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • In my previous quits I also had issues with hormones going crazy. At one point I was laughing hysterically and crying at the same time just because I didn't want to go to the shop :confused: Sounds like your body's having trouble regulating your hormone levels without the nicotine and the reason your body hasn't adjusted to life without nicotine could be in large part to the medications you're probably on for epilepsy and/or MS. If I were you I'd go and talk to my doctor about the rage and although I wouldn't like to advocate it, maybe a low dose nicotine gum or patch would at least allow you to see if it is your hormones as oppose to psychological addiction. My mum's epileptic and also an ex-smoker so it is possible to get free of the evil weed. Good luck, hope you get your stress sorted out.

  • Thank you for the words of encouragement, I decided to shoot my neurologist and ease some of my stress:eek: I have quit festering today and come to the conclusion that if he doesn't want to help me anymore that's fine, I'm helping myself quite nicely thank you by ditching the weed.

    Thank you for the links margaret, there are some thought provoking articles and real life stories on the whyquit.com, a real eye opener. I would recommend anyone having doubts about quitting to read Noni's story. Kind of puts things in perspective for me and I need to quit wingeing and focus on the things I can do and the not ones I can't. At present I can carry on quitting and just accept the anger as part of the process otherwise I'll end up with a few more dead neurologists to bury and I only have a small garden. Thanks guys really needed to off load! :D

  • Hi darcydog - you are doing great - we are all guilty of anger and feelings of being totally p*ssed off whilst quitting the fags. Some of us are bound to be more affected than others too. You do just need to allow yourself time to re-balance your brain and get on an even keel again!

    Stick with it - you are worth it:D

  • congratulations for going over a month on Cold Turkey. Thats showing some real strength right there. Maybe the anger is part of you trying to release all the new energy youve got. Are you doing any excersise or anything. I find that when im feeling wound up its cos ive not been doing anything physical for a while.

    best of luck mate. keep on in there.

  • Hi Darcydog, im not sure if i can be of much help to you but first i would like to congratulate you on your quit so far you are doing fantastic!

    As for feeling angry, when we quit smoking it can cause lots of differant emotions to surface for us that we have been so used to surpressing with cigarettes and it takes time to get used to lifes ups and downs without our "crutch" to lean on, it takes a bit of getting used to dealing with all these feeling and emotions in a differant way, throughout my quit ive experienced, anger, sadness, guilt, cried my eyes out, laughed my head off and felt not like me (if that makes sense) but it has been a long time since i dealt with any of these emotions as a non smoker, try to take one day at a time and let all your feelings out, rearly feel them, and slowly you will begin to feel better and it will get easier.

    Post on here often and read all the links, take care, x

    tracy21

  • Hi darcydog - you are doing great - we are all guilty of anger and feelings of being totally p*ssed off whilst quitting the fags. Some of us are bound to be more affected than others too. You do just need to allow yourself time to re-balance your brain and get on an even keel again!

    Stick with it - you are worth it:D

    Thanks Jerry Lee. It's a comfort to know that this is normal. Sometimes I get caught up in just thinking about myself and forget that I am not the only one doing this. It's lovely to hear that I am worth it but I guess that's what we all need to hear, if we weren't worth it then we would still be polluting our bodies but out of some tremendous self loyalty we are all here. Thanks a million. Take care

  • congratulations for going over a month on Cold Turkey. Thats showing some real strength right there. Maybe the anger is part of you trying to release all the new energy youve got. Are you doing any excersise or anything. I find that when im feeling wound up its cos ive not been doing anything physical for a while.

    best of luck mate. keep on in there.

    Thanks for encoraging me. I must admit to being an idle sod while I've laid around feeling sorry for myself. Its pathetic really but I have promised myself I will get moving over the weekend. It's strange to think that last night I was miserable but after a day on here my motivation and determination have resurfaced. Its people like you that keep people like me strong. take care x

  • Hi Darcydog, im not sure if i can be of much help to you but first i would like to congratulate you on your quit so far you are doing fantastic!

    As for feeling angry, when we quit smoking it can cause lots of differant emotions to surface for us that we have been so used to surpressing with cigarettes and it takes time to get used to lifes ups and downs without our "crutch" to lean on, it takes a bit of getting used to dealing with all these feeling and emotions in a differant way, throughout my quit ive experienced, anger, sadness, guilt, cried my eyes out, laughed my head off and felt not like me (if that makes sense) but it has been a long time since i dealt with any of these emotions as a non smoker, try to take one day at a time and let all your feelings out, rearly feel them, and slowly you will begin to feel better and it will get easier.

    Post on here often and read all the links, take care, x

    tracy21

    This has made more sense to me than anything I've heard over the last 2 months. The fact that it has come from a fellow quitter makes me realise I am not some kind of Alien pocessing my former self. I kinda like the idea of really feeling my emotions as part of the healing process. I'm looking forward to feeling better as time goes along. Thank you so much for taking the time out to share your experiences with me, it means a lot and stops me feeling so isolated. Take care and thanks again for the advice and info x

  • In my previous quits I also had issues with hormones going crazy. At one point I was laughing hysterically and crying at the same time just because I didn't want to go to the shop :confused: Sounds like your body's having trouble regulating your hormone levels without the nicotine and the reason your body hasn't adjusted to life without nicotine could be in large part to the medications you're probably on for epilepsy and/or MS. If I were you I'd go and talk to my doctor about the rage and although I wouldn't like to advocate it, maybe a low dose nicotine gum or patch would at least allow you to see if it is your hormones as oppose to psychological addiction. My mum's epileptic and also an ex-smoker so it is possible to get free of the evil weed. Good luck, hope you get your stress sorted out.

    Thank you so much I will try and ride the waves for a while before going to see the Doc, kinda want to do it on my own for as long as I can, its my personal journey and I would like to succeed without relying on anything else, if that makes sense. I cant take nicotene replacement as it stimulates the brain too much and lowers my seizure threshold, crap but true! I think I just need to find ways of dealing with my anger or just try some damage limitation techniques for when it comes. Thanks for the advice it means a lot. Congratulations to you and your mum for quitting. It's good to no there is someone out there who has coped with the stress of quitting AND the stress of living with epilepsy. double the stress and double the success!! Take care x

  • Welcome and congratulations on your terrific quit, give yourself a big pat on the back you deserve it.

    Jackie

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