No Smoking Day
2,845 members31,487 posts

struggling still

hey guys im still struggling loads i dont know if its the smoking or personal situations thats doing my head in, 4 those that dont know my partner died 4 months ago, but im really getting the urge to smoke, i dont want to i want to succeed but im struggling i really am, rite know it would be so much easier just to smoke but i now i will bitterly regret it and i knwo how much my partner wanted me to quit before he passed away and thats the only thing keeping me going. i need ti find some strength from somewhere i feel like i did in those first 2/3 weeks i thought i was over the hard bit.

12 Replies

Suzy the only thing I can say that may help is to remember what he said to you about smoking. When I was struggling not over smoking but over something else, I would close my eyes and just listen to the words he said to me before he died and it really did help.

I hope I havent made things worse, but it really helped me at the time.

Sending you the biggest hugs X


It can't be easy, going through what you are. But what you have got to keep telling yourself is that smoking ain't going to achieve a thing. Other than meaning that the effort you put into staying quit for those months is wasted.

I don't know how you fell, I can't even begin to imagine, but I do suspect that if you had a smoke, you would end up feeling worse.

Stay strong, there are people here that care and want you to succeed we are all routing for you. You have done so well, focus on what you have achieved and beat those nicotine demons into submission.

Best wishes




im trying to stay positive and i can remember before he had the 2nd stroke that took his movement he stroked my face that was him telling me he was proud of me for not smoking, i remember that and it normally gets me threw the cravings but its not working, ive really wanted a fag for days and i cant shake it off. ive got some inhalator left but i dont want to put nicotine back in my system i didnt use the inhalator but got some just incase. i really really want to succeed but i dont know how im guna get threw the rest of today without smoking. its doing me head in cos i aint been like this in over a month.


cant go out ive got a kid, his in the bath so cant do that either all my mates have kids so they cant come round so can only hope that the internet will distracvt me but its not working


Hi Suzy

Cant begin to imagine how you cope with your personal life right now but smoking will not make it different or better.

You need to be in with your 9 year old so I suggest you stay on here and do some reading, lots of reading and post messages there will always be someone who will contact you. Your lovely child can grow up without the smell of cigarettes and hopefully not smoke.

You have done so well, stay strong.

Thinking about you.



Hi Suzy

I'm so sorry that you lost your partner so recently, but I can relate to how you must be feeling right now

I lost three people I loved dearly all to heart attacks, first my Dad, then a few years later my Husband,and then my youngest sister at 51 I only tell you this to explain why I know how you feel

My Husband asked me to quit and stay quit, well I did 20+ years down the line

I know that right now it would be so easy for you to give in, but please remember how proud of you he was because you'd quit instead

I can only suggest like the others that you do some reading, phone some one or stay on here and keep posting, doesn't matter what or even if you repeat yourself, it will distract you at least

And also remember that we're all here for you Promise

Love and a Big Hug

Marg xxxxxxxxxx


i do keep posting but i am doing my own head in going on about wantin a fag and dont want to put you all threw it, by the end of me rantin you will all be pulling your hair out, but still wantin a fag the urge isnt vanishing ive posted loads on here n all but suppose its workin cos i aint smoked, im even talkin to my ex husband online to keep me distracted luckily we get on so it aint making me any worse. sos to rant so much i just dont nwo how else to talk to and i know you lot understand, some off you more then others


Hi Suzy

I'm sorry the urge is still there, but staying on here is working because you haven't smoked

Rant away as much as you need, no one on here minds, and most of us have craved after all just as you are now, so don't be sorry after all we've all needed a rant at some point

Just hang in there Suzy


Marg xxxxxxxxxxx


Suzy, It seems a lot of us are having trouble lately. I'm sorry to hear of yours. Just remember, as I am trying too, that smoking will not make anything better. Our problems would be around with or without smoking. Your doing so well and are a very strong person. Stay strong. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.


Hi Suzy,

Only just picked up on this. I don't have anything much to add to all the good stuff that has already been said, but I wanted to add my support. Rant on here as often as you like, it's what this place is for.



Hi Suzy,

I'm a newbe on hear and a newbe to stopping smoking...........which is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do; don't know if this is of any help..... but, I find if the urge is soooo strong to have a puff then going to bed helps, that way I fall asleep and forget.... and when I get up the urge has gone...........for a wee while anyway, then coming on hear is a great help cause although most of the posts are about smoking and the HORRIBLE cravings/urges it does take your mind of it and before you know it an hour has passed. I hope some of that has helped, it's helped me take one of those BAD CRAVINGS away:)


I just wanted to say that this must be really hard for you right now, the temptation will be at its highest point. Although I cannot relate to your circumstances in such severity, I find still that any family troubles or arguments or tense/stressful situations make me think about my once beloved friend, the one thing that was there for me when I needed a boost, BUT think about that. Was it your friend or did it just control you? I had the same problems, a cigarette was my mate, there when I needed it, always in my pocket, the thing that made me feel great about a day and everything else could go whistle! It's only now, 11 weeks into a smoke-free world that I have realised just how wrong I was. In fact, the drug induced frantic boosting muggy head by morning/headache by night mate only clouded the real me. For me, it has put life into perspective with a clear head, and when you reach this point, you'll realise why it is your dream to quit. To live with a clear head, with clear thinking and feel on top of the world! Don't give in to the "friend" that is in fact your enemy....:)


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