Still struggling on

Hi :)

First the good news, it's 8 months tonight since I last smoked a real fag, it's the 2nd longest time since I was a 13 year old social smoker that I've gone without a fag!! Or more accurately over 4,846 of them :eek:

But unfortunately its not easy for me at the mo - hence why I haven't been around very much.

Have had some real struggles, the last week or so being the worst by a very long way :( It got loads worse last weekend, and really hit me hard - have got close to smoking but managed not to!!

Don't know why so many lovely people on here and who I know off the boards are happy in their quit, but I'm still stuck :/

All I can guess is that my mind is struggling to make the leap from "smoking is nice/naughty/makes you feel better" etc to what it really is. It's weird, on one hand I totally understand it stinks, costs a fortune, makes you ill etc, etc, but there's a bit of my brain that is still the same as when I smoked. Maybe as I've been either a smoker, a social smoker or quit but not wanting to be for the last 16 years i's just takin longer? But it's a pain in the bum!!

Only other thing I can think is because my quit was spur of the moment, rather than spending ages smoking and hating it, that I hadn't built up a big dislike of smoking?

*Sigh*

Well, I won't smoke today, tomorrow can look after itself :)

Sorry for the emo!!

Gemma x

53 Replies

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  • Hi Gemma, first of a massive well done on reaching 8 months.

    Sorry to hear you are struggling at the mo, thought you hadn't been around much. But you are not alone, i'm nearly at a year now and the last month has been quite difficult, no reason in particular, its just happened,:confused: still you sound like me that you are strong enough to get through this.

    I guess some people find it easier to come to terms with it than others.

    We have to hang on to our quits now as we've come all this way without smoking it would be such a shame to throw it away, because we both know how much we would regret it.

    Stay strong Gemma it will get better eventually, you wouldn't want to go through all this again sometime in the future would you ?

    Hope you a good weekend

    Netti x

    Thanks Netti :)

    Sorry you're having a rough time with it as well!! Flipping pain isn't it?

    We'll both get through it I'm sure, but it's a shame the nicotine monster can't leave us alone.

    For me this is my last quit - no way would I go through this again so if I smoke now it's for keeps. Not a nice thought but it's keeping me off the fags!!

    You have a good weekend too :) x

  • Hi Gemma

    Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment.

    Congratulations on reaching the 8 months. As Netti said, you don't want to start all over again do you;)

    I'm sure things will improve for you. I've also been thinking about smoking for over a week now. Just completely out of the blue. I was getting annoyed with someone and the thought just popped into my head " I want to go out and have a smoke". Last bad time I had was way back around 4 months:D

    Of course, I'm not going to smoke and hopefully you won't either, but we do have to stay on our guard against those negative thoughts.:D

    Stay strong:D

    lostie:)

    Thanks Lostie!!

    Aww sorry you're having a bad time. It's got to be something in the air :eek:

  • Hi Gemma, well done on 8 months. That is a great achievement. Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm one of the strugglers as well. Whenever things go wrong I want to smoke. I know it won't help but when bad things go on for weeks it is so hard. I'm going through a bit of a bad patch so the e-cig has come back out and even though it hasn't any nicotine it is a help. Hope things improve for you soon.

  • Hi Gemma

    sorry to read your having those pesky thoughts of smoking again :eek:

    they are not nice at all

    BUT

    they are natural so dont be alarmed just remember smoking was a big part of your life for a long time so every now and again you will get those thoughts of one wont hurt or i need one

    when you have those thoughts you need to distract your mind till they pass and i have always found rereading your earlier posts of how much you were struggling will help you to remember how you felt back then

    they will pass and you will come out the other side standing tall and proud to have beaten them :)

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    hugs

    Carol x

  • You can do it

    Gemma I am a novice it's only been 3 wonderful weeks and 2 days since I became a non-smoker but I really have a strong motivation to never smoke again my specialist told me the fat in my blood was way to high I was a candidate for a heart attack or stroke and that smoking was a contributor to the fat in my blood I have also got diabetes 2 and because of the fat in my blood I have circulation problems especially in my legs after walking a short distance the pain becomes unbearable I am pleased to say since stopping smoking there is a definite improvement but if I continued to smoke there was a strong possibility I could lose a leg maybe both so I don't think you are in that situation but if you start smoking again there is every chance it could happen later in your life I don't want to be in a wheelchair and I am sure you don't either, so the next time you have a crave look at your legs and imagine life without them.

  • Its actually very common for the "want" to raise its ugly head from time to time. I've seen it in people at months 8,10,12,14 etc. The fact is as Carol said it was a massive part of your life. You learned how to be an adult while smoking now you have to unlearn the conditioned responses which were so comforting to you.

    These wants may have triggers or they may come out of the blue but the best way to deal with them is to be resolute and dismiss them. Accept that they will happen but don't dwell on the fact they have cropped up or they can become something more than they really are in other words, if you start to read into them more than them being a reminder of how you used to live then they can start to become a greater temptation.

    The good news is that although they will come and go for a while, the more you dismiss them the easier they are to deal with and the less frequent the become.

    hang in there and realise how much you have a achieved and how badly you would feel if you gave your quit away. Smoking never solves any problem it only ever makes things worse.

  • Gemma I am a novice it's only been 3 wonderful weeks and 2 days since I became a non-smoker but I really have a strong motivation to never smoke again my specialist told me the fat in my blood was way to high I was a candidate for a heart attack or stroke and that smoking was a contributor to the fat in my blood I have also got diabetes 2 and because of the fat in my blood I have circulation problems especially in my legs after walking a short distance the pain becomes unbearable I am pleased to say since stopping smoking there is a definite improvement but if I continued to smoke there was a strong possibility I could lose a leg maybe both so I don't think you are in that situation but if you start smoking again there is every chance it could happen later in your life I don't want to be in a wheelchair and I am sure you don't either, so the next time you have a crave look at your legs and imagine life without them.

    You know what, I think if your post Rex doesnt put it into perspective then nothing does, wanting a cig is fine but wouldnt it be worse to want your legs when there gone? I know im here because I never want to be faced with those kind of regrets. Thanks for sharing Rex and I hope you make a full recovery xxxx

  • ****** hell....i hate nic !!!

    Hello Gemma,

    Do you know what I was going to post today anyway because Ive not done so for a few days.

    I am on 15 weeks today....nowhere near where you are and I look up to you and must admit it does scare me, frustrate me, upset me, annoy me, peeves me...that ****** FAGS CAN DO THIS TO SOMEONE WHEN THEY HAVE NOT SMOKED FOR 8 MONTHS !!!!

    Oh Gemma, not having a pop at you but how can this be...all the emotions there are you feel in 10 seconds flat......

    Well don't give up giving up Gemma cos it's newbies like me that admire you !!!

    Having got all that off my chest.....

    Just wanted also to add....I've Sussed out the one thing that takes my mind off smoking.........

    SHOPPING

    :)

    seriously ! Yep....Mr Woo's credit card is screaming :)

    Hehehehe

  • Hello Gemma,

    Do you know what I was going to post today anyway because Ive not done so for a few days.

    I am on 15 weeks today....nowhere near where you are and I look up to you and must admit it does scare me, frustrate me, upset me, annoy me, peeves me...that ****** FAGS CAN DO THIS TO SOMEONE WHEN THEY HAVE NOT SMOKED FOR 8 MONTHS !!!!

    Oh Gemma, not having a pop at you but how can this be...all the emotions there are you feel in 10 seconds flat......

    Well don't give up giving up Gemma cos it's newbies like me that admire you !!!

    Having got all that off my chest.....

    Just wanted also to add....I've Sussed out the one thing that takes my mind off smoking.........

    SHOPPING

    :)

    seriously ! Yep....Mr Woo's credit card is screaming :)

    Hehehehe

    You're doing brilliantly, and I'm probably a bit odd in having gone from "I love my ciggies" to "I'm going to quit" literally in about half an hour - call it an epiphany if you like :)

    So what that means is that I didn't have more than a couple of days smoking cigarettes I didn't want to - which I guess means it's harder for me somehow? Basically don't worry about it 'cos you're doing fab!!

    And shopping ooh yes :D :D

  • Hi Gemma, well done on 8 months. That is a great achievement. Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm one of the strugglers as well. Whenever things go wrong I want to smoke. I know it won't help but when bad things go on for weeks it is so hard. I'm going through a bit of a bad patch so the e-cig has come back out and even though it hasn't any nicotine it is a help. Hope things improve for you soon.

    Thanks Una :)

    I really know that feeling - it's like a comfort blanket isn't it?

    Sorry you're having a struggle too - but it's great you're coping with it with your nico free ecig!!

    Hi Gemma

    sorry to read your having those pesky thoughts of smoking again :eek:

    they are not nice at all

    BUT

    they are natural so dont be alarmed just remember smoking was a big part of your life for a long time so every now and again you will get those thoughts of one wont hurt or i need one

    when you have those thoughts you need to distract your mind till they pass and i have always found rereading your earlier posts of how much you were struggling will help you to remember how you felt back then

    they will pass and you will come out the other side standing tall and proud to have beaten them :)

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    hugs

    Carol x

    Thanks Carol!!

    Think I'll get through it OK, but it's horrible to battle through. x

  • Gemma hold fast there sweetheart :)

    I thought you were struggling a bit-it doesn't make it easy being summer,the forums being quieter,and big important characters like Kat being away..there is NO WAY I am personally going to allow you to backslide you know that dont you ;) you have done that hard work,now Nicdemon is trying new tactics and very tough tactics they are too but YOU ARE TOUGHER Gemma Lou. Look how many non smokers there are,how they pass the time each day,how they behave out drinking and ask yourself-so how come they don't need a ciggie-because they don't.It is tough for us as we are always vulnerable to feeling sentimental about ciggies,its bull crap we know but it still creeps in doesn't it.

    Please don't be sad,get that feeling of pride at being a successful quitter and shout it from the rooftops cos love you are a huge SUCCESS!!!!!!:D:D

    Thanks Max :)

    Know you won't let me fail - if I ever smoke again I'll be looking out for a police car :p

    Know I don't need to smoke, it's just that having done it for so long - and enjoyed it it's tough to get used to not smoking and to be happy like it.

    Daft innit?

    Gemma I am a novice it's only been 3 wonderful weeks and 2 days since I became a non-smoker but I really have a strong motivation to never smoke again my specialist told me the fat in my blood was way to high I was a candidate for a heart attack or stroke and that smoking was a contributor to the fat in my blood I have also got diabetes 2 and because of the fat in my blood I have circulation problems especially in my legs after walking a short distance the pain becomes unbearable I am pleased to say since stopping smoking there is a definite improvement but if I continued to smoke there was a strong possibility I could lose a leg maybe both so I don't think you are in that situation but if you start smoking again there is every chance it could happen later in your life I don't want to be in a wheelchair and I am sure you don't either, so the next time you have a crave look at your legs and imagine life without them.

    Oh I'm sorry you're ill because of the damn cigarettes!!

    It's true that it wrecks your health, but it's so silyl how you tend to blank that out?

    Had several reasons to quit but my health wasn't one of them, even though now I do realise it was affecting me :/

    Its actually very common for the "want" to raise its ugly head from time to time. I've seen it in people at months 8,10,12,14 etc. The fact is as Carol said it was a massive part of your life. You learned how to be an adult while smoking now you have to unlearn the conditioned responses which were so comforting to you.

    These wants may have triggers or they may come out of the blue but the best way to deal with them is to be resolute and dismiss them. Accept that they will happen but don't dwell on the fact they have cropped up or they can become something more than they really are in other words, if you start to read into them more than them being a reminder of how you used to live then they can start to become a greater temptation.

    The good news is that although they will come and go for a while, the more you dismiss them the easier they are to deal with and the less frequent the become.

    hang in there and realise how much you have a achieved and how badly you would feel if you gave your quit away. Smoking never solves any problem it only ever makes things worse.

    That does make sense, thanks Nic :)

    Know how c*ap it feels to lost a quit 'cos I was in tears the last time.

    Usually i can bat the thoughts away but this week it's been doing my head in, it doesn't seem to shift :/

  • hi all

    just would like to say ,am still around lol ex=smoker for 8mts and it will get easier and yes that feeling of just one will come and make you feel down, but am still one day at a time funny how my one day comes around every few weeks{i don't think of smoking every day] but when it comes i say ok what you going to do ,go back to day one. have a cig and then a other or go forward and think of all the people that have said over the last few months , i can't believe you don't smoke of all the people i never thought you would ever be able to quit ,[ i wish i could ] you have really got to want to , and not being well made it happen for me, don't wait until your ill ,do it now and enjoy your heath , hope this helps one person , keep trying you will get there, x

  • just would like to say ,am still around lol ex=smoker for 8mts and it will get easier and yes that feeling of just one will come and make you feel down, but am still one day at a time funny how my one day comes around every few weeks{i don't think of smoking every day] but when it comes i say ok what you going to do ,go back to day one. have a cig and then a other or go forward and think of all the people that have said over the last few months , i can't believe you don't smoke of all the people i never thought you would ever be able to quit ,[ i wish i could ] you have really got to want to , and not being well made it happen for me, don't wait until your ill ,do it now and enjoy your heath , hope this helps one person , keep trying you will get there, x

    Thanks Poppy :)

    TBH I don't have the thought of "just one" - did that far too many times so am under no illusions as to where smoking would end up!! If i had one right now, within a couple of months I'd be smoking a packet a day or just over again like before. Also know after the battles I've had that I wouldn't stop again aside from being pregnant or seriously ill.

    Huge well done to you, you must be really proud especially to have beaten the cynics!!

    Have found venting on her has helped though :D x

  • hi all

    hi gemma glad to hear your wining ,will drop back in ,in a few weeks again .chin=up x

  • Hi Gemma,

    I went through a similar phase around 6 months and in the summer sun etc = and as you know I posted a couple of times. Well after that something kind of clicked as for whatever reason smoking doesn't really enter my mind at all now and when it does its a case of "no I don't do that and can't ever imagine doing it" thought, Its weird, its almost like my brain switched off overnight. Obviously things are different with different people but I just think that everyone reaches that turning point at some point whether its a few weeks in or a few years down the line.

    Stay strong, you don't want to do week 1 again ever!!! You'll do it I'm sure of it!

    K

  • Hi Gemma,

    I went through a similar phase around 6 months and in the summer sun etc = and as you know I posted a couple of times. Well after that something kind of clicked as for whatever reason smoking doesn't really enter my mind at all now and when it does its a case of "no I don't do that and can't ever imagine doing it" thought, Its weird, its almost like my brain switched off overnight. Obviously things are different with different people but I just think that everyone reaches that turning point at some point whether its a few weeks in or a few years down the line.

    Stay strong, you don't want to do week 1 again ever!!! You'll do it I'm sure of it!

    K

    Thanks Karen :)

    Am really glad it clicked for you, just got to wait for it to click for me too!!

    At the mo though, I'm still a daft 13 year old (inside anyway) and getting past the "smoking is naughty and rebelleous" bit is hard :/

    And I know there's no way I'd do week 1 again - unless I get pregnant or ill - so that's helping keep me off them!!

  • Hey Gemma, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Hang in there, I'm sure it must get better soon for you!!

    Thinking of you

    Xxxxx

  • Hey Gemma, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Hang in there, I'm sure it must get better soon for you!!

    Thinking of you

    Xxxxx

    Aww thanks Sarah :)

    I guess it's just me being silly - there's a decent sized bit of me that doesn't realise I'm not 15 any more :p so it's probably got something to do with that!!

    Haven't smoked so that's a plus!!

    How are you? xxx

  • Aww thanks Sarah :)

    I guess it's just me being silly - there's a decent sized bit of me that doesn't realise I'm not 15 any more :p so it's probably got something to do with that!!

    Haven't smoked so that's a plus!!

    How are you? xxx

    It's a big plus that you haven't smoked!!! I'm good thx. Still plodding on...

  • Plodding on Sarah indeed....:rolleyes:

    You two ladies -the Mk 2 versions,the no smoking versions ;) -are vastly superior to the rather smelly smoking Mk1 versions.

    You are much nicer,sweeter,richer,healthier more self respecting than you were before and you say 'Plodding on'.......meh :D

    Sometimes I wonder about that TBH

    Sorry that sounds negative :)

  • Hi :)

    First the good news, it's 8 months tonight since I last smoked a real fag, it's the 2nd longest time since I was a 13 year old social smoker that I've gone without a fag!! Or more accurately over 4,846 of them :eek:

    But unfortunately its not easy for me at the mo - hence why I haven't been around very much.

    Have had some real struggles, the last week or so being the worst by a very long way :( It got loads worse last weekend, and really hit me hard - have got close to smoking but managed not to!!

    Don't know why so many lovely people on here and who I know off the boards are happy in their quit, but I'm still stuck :/

    All I can guess is that my mind is struggling to make the leap from "smoking is nice/naughty/makes you feel better" etc to what it really is. It's weird, on one hand I totally understand it stinks, costs a fortune, makes you ill etc, etc, but there's a bit of my brain that is still the same as when I smoked. Maybe as I've been either a smoker, a social smoker or quit but not wanting to be for the last 16 years i's just takin longer? But it's a pain in the bum!!

    Only other thing I can think is because my quit was spur of the moment, rather than spending ages smoking and hating it, that I hadn't built up a big dislike of smoking?

    *Sigh*

    Well, I won't smoke today, tomorrow can look after itself :)

    Sorry for the emo!!

    Gemma x

    Gemma, you wonderful, beautiful woman. I'm so sorry I haven't been here to at least attempt to help you through the bad!! I've been totally awol and I'm really sorry! :(

    Hold on hun and you will get there. You've been doing so well and even at difficult times something has managed to keep you off the dirty fags! :)

    It sounds as though your mind is battling with itself rather a lot. I remember going through the same, but I managed to come out of the other side and you will too. It's just finding that trigger. That thing that makes you feel as though you're still punishing yourself. Something that makes the nico demon seem appealing. Like you say, you know the facts. It's just sorting the mental addiction out.

    When you've had these moments, where you feel like you might cave, what have you been doing? How have you been feeling? Is there something that links these times together, something you might be able to pinpoint?

    Stay strong!! xxx

  • Gemma, you wonderful, beautiful woman. I'm so sorry I haven't been here to at least attempt to help you through the bad!! I've been totally awol and I'm really sorry! :(

    Hold on hun and you will get there. You've been doing so well and even at difficult times something has managed to keep you off the dirty fags! :)

    It sounds as though your mind is battling with itself rather a lot. I remember going through the same, but I managed to come out of the other side and you will too. It's just finding that trigger. That thing that makes you feel as though you're still punishing yourself. Something that makes the nico demon seem appealing. Like you say, you know the facts. It's just sorting the mental addiction out.

    When you've had these moments, where you feel like you might cave, what have you been doing? How have you been feeling? Is there something that links these times together, something you might be able to pinpoint?

    Stay strong!! xxx

    Aww thanks Sarah :)

    How are you now?

    You're right, I am battling with it - not sure why it's getting to me now more than early on, but it is annoying!!

    You're right about the punishing thing too - I mean, it's odd. 95% of me knows that smoking is bad and I don't need to do it. But there's still the 5% of me that loved smoking, still miss it like mad (litrally when you think about it) and is still the 13 year old wanting to stick her fingers up at what I *should* be doing.

    It's not really been anything specific, it's happened when I've been down, stressed, angry and happy too - or after a couple of glasses.

    Will keep battling on, but it's got to get better!!

    xxx

  • Aww thanks Sarah :)

    How are you now?

    You're right, I am battling with it - not sure why it's getting to me now more than early on, but it is annoying!!

    You're right about the punishing thing too - I mean, it's odd. 95% of me knows that smoking is bad and I don't need to do it. But there's still the 5% of me that loved smoking, still miss it like mad (litrally when you think about it) and is still the 13 year old wanting to stick her fingers up at what I *should* be doing.

    It's not really been anything specific, it's happened when I've been down, stressed, angry and happy too - or after a couple of glasses.

    Will keep battling on, but it's got to get better!!

    xxx

    It definately has got to get better! :) In the meantime I'm here if I can provide any kind of support for you.

    I'm fine thanks. Op is now 27th September, so not too far away. And I've started trying to work off those extra pounds I gained by going on a diet.

    Apart from that there isn't much different in my life right now

    Still enjoying being a non-smoker most of the time. It's really just when I have a drink that I sometimes think of having one. And even then the thought doesn't really get much downtime, which is nice :p xxx

  • It definately has got to get better! :) In the meantime I'm here if I can provide any kind of support for you.

    I'm fine thanks. Op is now 27th September, so not too far away. And I've started trying to work off those extra pounds I gained by going on a diet.

    Apart from that there isn't much different in my life right now

    Still enjoying being a non-smoker most of the time. It's really just when I have a drink that I sometimes think of having one. And even then the thought doesn't really get much downtime, which is nice :p xxx

    Aww I'm glad that's all being sorted for you hun :)

    Good luck losing the extra coule of pounds!!

    It's fab that you're doing so well with not smoking, you must be really pleased with yourself!! xxx

  • Aww I'm glad that's all being sorted for you hun :)

    Good luck losing the extra coule of pounds!!

    It's fab that you're doing so well with not smoking, you must be really pleased with yourself!! xxx

    I am very pleased with myself :) Just less than six months ago I was fearful of giving up smoking. I wouldn't dare imagine that life could be "normal" without them. So I've been pleasently surprised so far.

    xxx

  • I am very pleased with myself :) Just less than six months ago I was fearful of giving up smoking. I wouldn't dare imagine that life could be "normal" without them. So I've been pleasently surprised so far.

    xxx

    You deserve to hun, it's fab how well you're doing with it - as opposed to er, me :/

    That's when the doubts set in and I wonder. Which is silly, get a grip Gem.

  • You deserve to hun, it's fab how well you're doing with it - as opposed to er, me :/

    That's when the doubts set in and I wonder. Which is silly, get a grip Gem.

    Stop with the doubts!! You're doing just fine and haven't had one single puff! That's so much better than so many other people. It's just getting your head sorted so that you can believe in yourself and get back to being positive. :)

    I'll have none of you doubting yourself hun *wags finger*, you've come too far for that xxx

  • Gemma, I'm a lot like you. I liked smoking and I'll admit that if they weren't so expensive I would still be smoking. How I got through the last 3 months without one I don't know. I finally got through the first part of my visa and I got my criminal disclosure. Now I need one from the FBI. Have you any idea how hard it is to get fingerprints. At one time any police station did it. I'm having a week off from worrying before I get on with that and the medical. Lucky I stopped smoking over a year ago because I wouldn't have passed the mental health part if I had just quit now. Most of the time I manage fine without them and I haven't had any craves since about 8 months but there's a little part of me that wants one when I have to do something I don't want to do. You'll get through this because you have the strength to keep going :D

  • Stop with the doubts!! You're doing just fine and haven't had one single puff! That's so much better than so many other people. It's just getting your head sorted so that you can believe in yourself and get back to being positive. :)

    I'll have none of you doubting yourself hun *wags finger*, you've come too far for that xxx

    Thanks hun :)

    It's stupid, know it is but am in danger of doing what you did early on and thinking myself into failing. No idea why i've been like it the past couple of weeks :S

    xxx

  • Gemma, I'm a lot like you. I liked smoking and I'll admit that if they weren't so expensive I would still be smoking. How I got through the last 3 months without one I don't know. I finally got through the first part of my visa and I got my criminal disclosure. Now I need one from the FBI. Have you any idea how hard it is to get fingerprints. At one time any police station did it. I'm having a week off from worrying before I get on with that and the medical. Lucky I stopped smoking over a year ago because I wouldn't have passed the mental health part if I had just quit now. Most of the time I manage fine without them and I haven't had any craves since about 8 months but there's a little part of me that wants one when I have to do something I don't want to do. You'll get through this because you have the strength to keep going :D

    Ooh I know the feeling Una!!

    You've done really well to get through all that hassle without one - and I'm glad you're making progress!!

  • Hi Gemma, you are not alone, these past 3 and a half weeks have been pure torture for me. Off work for the school holidays, been to a few social occasions with my smoking pals, waiting for my daughters A level results tomorrow and am a bag of nerves, have harped on about smoking for 3 weeks but constantly today. Am sick of hearing myself talk about smoking, I feel I am very close to losing this quit and after 7 months I really don't want to do that!

    Hope you are in a better frame of mind and am hoping that after tomorrow (fingers crossed for results) I will start to rise above it again......

    Angela xxx

  • Hi Gemma, you are not alone, these past 3 and a half weeks have been pure torture for me. Off work for the school holidays, been to a few social occasions with my smoking pals, waiting for my daughters A level results tomorrow and am a bag of nerves, have harped on about smoking for 3 weeks but constantly today. Am sick of hearing myself talk about smoking, I feel I am very close to losing this quit and after 7 months I really don't want to do that!

    Hope you are in a better frame of mind and am hoping that after tomorrow (fingers crossed for results) I will start to rise above it again......

    Angela xxx

    Oh I'm sorry you're suffering too Angela!!

    I suppose at least we're not suffering alone :)

    Have been the same, can't get the b.loody cigarettes off my mind which is flipping annoying - never thought this much about them when I smoked the damn things :/

    Have a ((Hug)) and best of luck for your daughter's results!!

    xxx

  • Think I've worked out what the problem is - and it's a me thing, so nothing for new quitters to worry about (take note of maybe but not worry)

    Have been feeling a bit down lately - nothing quit related, just stuff - and dealing with that without my "friend" has been hard, and for some reason that's put it into my head that I'm depriving myself of something. I guess my mind has looked back to happy times, which of course recently all came when I was smoking so it's put 2 and 2 together and made 45.

    Stupid brain!!

    Still not smoking, would have got through about 5,000 fags by now :eek:

    Can anyone imagine 5,000 Marlboro Lights laid end to end? 'Cos I can't!!

    And ick, 3,000 mg of tar - urgies

  • Sorry to hear you are still feeling down but at least you have figured out what's causing it. I think we can all relate to losing a friend but we also know what a bad friend it was!

    I too have struggled while on holiday - hubby even suggested we buy a sneaky pack at the supermarket yesterday because nobody would know.. I told him that was stupid and thankfully he agreed. I have however gone back on the e cig temporarily though which I'm a bit cross about. A weak moment led to that. But as soon as we get home in a week I plan to stop tht again as I was actually doing fine without it (except for my weak moment).

    Are you free of nicotine now or still using gum?

    I really hope you start feeling a bit happier soon.

    Sending hugs from sunny Spain.

    Sarah xx

  • Sorry to hear you are still feeling down but at least you have figured out what's causing it. I think we can all relate to losing a friend but we also know what a bad friend it was!

    Thanks hun, it'll take time to sort it out, but it has to pass and at least I'm not smoking - that would only add to my unhappiness, eventually anyway!!

    I too have struggled while on holiday - hubby even suggested we buy a sneaky pack at the supermarket yesterday because nobody would know.. I told him that was stupid and thankfully he agreed. I have however gone back on the e cig temporarily though which I'm a bit cross about. A weak moment led to that. But as soon as we get home in a week I plan to stop tht again as I was actually doing fine without it (except for my weak moment).

    Hope you're having a fab holiday!!

    Sorry you're having a bit of a struggle with it though, but it must be good knowing you're beating it :)

    Don't worry about being on the e-cig, at least it's not real ones!! And well done for not having a sneaky fag - it's one then a couple and well you know the rest :eek:

    Are you free of nicotine now or still using gum?

    Unfortunately, I'm back on the e-cig too - not great but it was that or smoking proper ones again. Got really close to caving so this is keeping me off them at least. Will be quitting it again ASAP :/

    I really hope you start feeling a bit happier soon.

    Sending hugs from sunny Spain.

    Sarah xx

    Thanks hun, enjoy the rest of your holiday!! xxx

  • So we are both back on the e cig but on the bright side, we have not smoked real cigarettes! It's a lot easier to get rid of the e cig than the real thing so we are still doing fine! If it helps us get through a tough patch that's fine as far as I'm concerned. So what if its not ideal.... Who cares? I hope you aren't beating yourself up about it.

    I really hope things look up for you soon. You don't seem your usual bubbly self. Feel free to message me if you want a rant to let it all out. Sometimes it helps!!

    More Spanish hugs on the way...

  • So we are both back on the e cig but on the bright side, we have not smoked real cigarettes! It's a lot easier to get rid of the e cig than the real thing so we are still doing fine! If it helps us get through a tough patch that's fine as far as I'm concerned. So what if its not ideal.... Who cares? I hope you aren't beating yourself up about it.

    I really hope things look up for you soon. You don't seem your usual bubbly self. Feel free to message me if you want a rant to let it all out. Sometimes it helps!!

    More Spanish hugs on the way...

    That's very true!! We both could have lapsed and ended up on the real fags - know i would have so it's saved us and at least they're not going to kill us!!

    Thanks hun I really appreciate that, I have been a bit down lately but I'll bounce back :D

  • Gemma ~ You hang in there!!!! I think I have come to terms with I will be fighting this battle everyday - and if one day I don't miss smoking or don't think about it then that will just be a bonus. Many people say they don't think about smoking for days or at all anymore. I have not experienced that yet - and I might never experience that. But i do know I don't want to be that person hooked up to some breathing machine trying to smoke a cigarette. I am sure you don't either. Don't you throw in the towel. You were on here when I joined and helped me along..... I know you will get through this.

  • I'm not giving up, I'm freeing myself!!

    N.O.P.E!! If I smoke now, it will make all my fight meaningless

    This is from your Signature Gemma, You cannot even let these thoughts gain any traction do not try and think yourself into chucking this away - you are missing out on absolutely nothing..

    Ask anybody who has quit for anywhere close to you if they were happy again when starting back up ? They all say no..Nobody who lost their quit is saying how great it is to be killing themselves again. That is the truth and you know this... You also know you would feel down and also be a smoker again, feeding the nasty addiction.

    Nobody cares what you are sucking on to get over the craves and so you should not see it as a bad thing... providing your not sucking on a tar filled ciggie you are winning the battle... Whatever it takes right.

    You are doing smashing... just keep doing it...

    Paul

  • Gemma ~ You hang in there!!!! I think I have come to terms with I will be fighting this battle everyday - and if one day I don't miss smoking or don't think about it then that will just be a bonus. Many people say they don't think about smoking for days or at all anymore. I have not experienced that yet - and I might never experience that. But i do know I don't want to be that person hooked up to some breathing machine trying to smoke a cigarette. I am sure you don't either. Don't you throw in the towel. You were on here when I joined and helped me along..... I know you will get through this.

    I think you're right, I've realised it's going to be a long fight too - but we're both going to win in the end :)

    And thanks!!

  • I'm not giving up, I'm freeing myself!!

    N.O.P.E!! If I smoke now, it will make all my fight meaningless

    This is from your Signature Gemma, You cannot even let these thoughts gain any traction do not try and think yourself into chucking this away - you are missing out on absolutely nothing..

    Ask anybody who has quit for anywhere close to you if they were happy again when starting back up ? They all say no..Nobody who lost their quit is saying how great it is to be killing themselves again. That is the truth and you know this... You also know you would feel down and also be a smoker again, feeding the nasty addiction.

    Nobody cares what you are sucking on to get over the craves and so you should not see it as a bad thing... providing your not sucking on a tar filled ciggie you are winning the battle... Whatever it takes right.

    You are doing smashing... just keep doing it...

    Paul

    Hi Paul :)

    I know you're right, and losing my last quit made me feel anything but good (was crying when I realised I was hooked) so I will keep going on!!

    It's one more thing I don't need when I'm feeling rubbish but I''ll get through. :)

  • Gemma love there is an epiphany to be had here-and that is

    "I can feel rubbish and depressed,and feel hopeless and bored,WITHOUT needing to have a ciggie"

    So it is ok to feel under par-like any non smoker-and that is IT,things will get better according to normal natural laws,not by inserting a smelly lethal poison stick into your gob.

    You're right Max, I have to get my brain to realise what I already know - and I realise that feeding stress with a stimulant is flipping daft!!

    Am finding it a real struggle though :(

  • Stress day today, got a couple of days off and my car has it's MOT tomorrow - used to smoke myself silly when it was in 'cos I'm a worrier but went out and bought a packet of Nicorette instead. :rolleyes:

    Like me turning my lungs black makes any difference to if it passes or fails :rolleyes:

  • Gemma, I've got a load of paperwork to do. I would normally whizz through it with a few fags but I keep putting it off because I can't smoke. I know it's ridiculous but in over a year that's the time I miss them.

    I had a friend round for a drink the other night and she sat next to me smoking and it didn't bother me at all.

  • Gemma, I've got a load of paperwork to do. I would normally whizz through it with a few fags but I keep putting it off because I can't smoke. I know it's ridiculous but in over a year that's the time I miss them.

    I had a friend round for a drink the other night and she sat next to me smoking and it didn't bother me at all.

    It's odd how it affects us isn't it? I guess we tied ourselves to the damn sticks for so long sometimes it seems hard to fuction without them - even though you're over a year quit and I'm 8 months.

    It's a very deep seated thing!!

    Glad your friend smoking didn't bother you :)

  • It's one huge crave after another today, fags even smell nice :( Aaargh

  • That's been happening to me a lot recently. Seems every time I get a bit of stress it comes back. It's only knowing that it isn't like it was in the beginning that keeps me going sometimes. We will get there. Chin up!!!

  • That's been happening to me a lot recently. Seems every time I get a bit of stress it comes back. It's only knowing that it isn't like it was in the beginning that keeps me going sometimes. We will get there. Chin up!!!

    Aww I'm sorry it's been bugging you too!!

    That's exactly how I am with it so I feel your pain.

    My car passed - YAY :cool: cost me £400 for the MOT, cambelt and water pump but at least I didn't spent £408 by buying fags, although this is pretty much the closest I've come to caving - was standing outside a newsagent's when I typed the message this morning, about ready to go and buy a packet of 20, and that did help!! Thank goodness for smartphones :eek::cool:

    So still smoke free and not going back to day 1 :)

  • That's the kind of thing that makes me want to give in. There's always something needs spending money on. I think I've sold my iMac but I won't know till Monday. Make a change to have some coming in. I must get around to selling on ebay. I buy plenty but never sold anything.

    Glad you didn't give in:)

  • That's the kind of thing that makes me want to give in. There's always something needs spending money on. I think I've sold my iMac but I won't know till Monday. Make a change to have some coming in. I must get around to selling on ebay. I buy plenty but never sold anything.

    Glad you didn't give in:)

    Thanks Una :)

    It's nice to get some money in!! I sell a fair bit on Ebay and it's brilliant, they don't charge you to list items for 99p and often have free listing weekend listings for any amount which is fab :D

    Am glad I didn't give in too :eek:

  • Well done for not caving to the craving Gemma :D I'm ashamed to admit I still love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette and will happily stand by whilst someone else smokes it...I know it will taste like yak and it's the start of a slippery slope so I am happy to resist for today. Stay strong :)

  • Well done for not caving to the craving Gemma :D I'm ashamed to admit I still love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette and will happily stand by whilst someone else smokes it...I know it will taste like yak and it's the start of a slippery slope so I am happy to resist for today. Stay strong :)

    Thanks Isolde :)

    Am glad you're doing really well :D It would definitely taste minging, never liked the taste when i was smoking so now, blech :o

    Usually, I really don't like the smell (but seeing someone "enjoy" a fag is a trigger) but yesterday it was so tempting.

    Well done on being able to resist, think the "just today" approach is good :)

  • Bouncy Gemma is back :D :D

    Still using the e-cig but am looking forward to kicking that ASAP :D

    Can't believe I was so close to smoking last week, I'm a daft cow, lol.

    Ooh and I woke up this morning without a hangover (when I really deserved one) and all because of not smoking YAY

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