Hello guys.
This is my first post. I'm a 37 year old male, I started smoking about 12 years ago, yeah a late starter - stupid - I got pressured by somebody
at work. Even though both my parents smoked (both have quit now) I had always managed to resist it. But this person at work
got me started, back in the days when you could smoke in the office and I became an addict fast.
I started with Bensons & Hedges, then moved onto rolling Drum, Cutters Choice and Samson and then since around 2003 I've stuck with rolling Amber Leaf. At one point I was smoking 40 bensons a day, nowdays a pack of amber leaf lasts me about two days,
On Saturday 21st Feb 2009 I purchased a pack of Amber Leaf from my local tesco, opened it up on the Sunday to discover a pack
filled with rolled up newspaper, yep 12 grams of finest rolled up local newspaper, and the real kicker, an empty pack of red
rizla, not even proper amber leaf papers.
The pack seemed perfectly normal from the outside, right down to the the red pulling strip around the pack. It was only
afterwards that the top of the box felt a bit strange, like dry glue, but before the wrapping had been removed it felt
normal and nobody would ever suspect anything was wrong with it.
I was gob smacked, somebody went to a lot of time and trouble to fake a £2.6 pack of hand rolling tobacco. I took the pack
back to Tesco on the monday, got a refund and the checkout women said she had seen it once before. She took some details
and said I would receive a letter from Amber Leaf but I never did.
Anyway, on that day (the Sunday) I vowed never to smoke EVER again. If somebody can tamper with a pack so convincingly well
who know what where smoking and to be honest from that day its been hell.
The first 3 days Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I was climbing the walls. Its hard to explain in words but its like my mind was
playing tricks on me, almost like talking myself into smoking again, trying to convice myself into having a smoke.
I'm creating some computer software at home in my spare time (taking some time out of work) so you can imaging I can just
light up any time I like, unlike being in an office, and on the Wednesday I caved in and couldn't stand the withdrawal any
longer.
What I'm about to say will make you feel sick but....I emptied the old nubs out from my bit bin and rolled them into a new
rollup !sick!. After doing that I felt better but I also felt disgusted with myself and I've not smoked any since.
So this is about six weeks now.
The cravings are getting easier to manage. I get them but they don't seem to last very long maybe a few minutes each about
once an hour. I can live with the cravings but the problem is I've started to eat more, a lot more, I just cant stop munching.
So thats my next habit to kick.
I have tried stopping in the past but always broke down and gave in after about 3 days, this time I am determined to say
an ex smoker. I think its because what happened made me WANT to quit in my heart of hearts and not just TRY to quit
and I've gone cold turkey with no help.
Anyway thats my reason for stopping.