i'm so bloody angry...

[nsd_user663_4232]

...with myself. Yesterday was day 4 and the evil bast@rd inside my head persuaded me to buy a pack of ten. it was awful, like i was in a trance on the way to the shop...something else driving me there even though i was telling myself dont do it, this control was much stronger...i got home and promptly smoked one of those. I felt awful, guilty angry, and generally disappointed in myself.

i was trying to reason with myself saying i know i'll just make this 10 pack last over the weekend and then stop again on monday morning when i am busy with work...

but, and here is what i am proud of, i said NO i've stopped and i remain stopped... so i took the fags and ran them under the tap and then screwed them up in the bin. never done this before and would normally have smoked them all and then started again.

So although i am upset i bought them in the firtst place, i feel i also made a huge breakthrough by chucking them. it has really enforced that i dont need them and actually i feel much better without them .

woke up this morning feeling even more positive than before. i know now what to expect and how powerful the demons can be, and therefore how strong i need to be to resist.

hope everyone is coping ok and getting through this, and thanks for all your support and messages on previous postings!

take care

stevie

[nsd_user663_4312]

Don't beat yourself up.

You are rightfully proud of yourself for getting rid of that 10 pack.

I'm at 24 days now- you can do this!

Carole

[nsd_user663_4177]

I know you bought them and smoked one, but what you did after that putting them under the tap and binning them you should be so proud of yourself.

Extra big hug X

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Stevie

Well done you no not for letting temptation get you for running 9 of those 10 under the tap and binning them you also resisted smoking them all even better and you proved you can overcome those sneaky b........d Nicc :eek: Demons and you have a right to be proud of that

So Day 5 now and so pleased you feel even more positive so you learnt a valuable lesson yesterday Don't beat yourself up about that slip but carry on secure in the lnowledge that you can and will beat them and win your war

Love

Marg

[nsd_user663_4232]

thanks for your kind words of encouragement! you are all very kind people!

had a lovely day today out in the sunshine enjoying the FRESH air lol

still have niggling thoughts but able to control them and push them way back

all the best

stevie

xx

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Stevie

Good enjoy your day and isn't it a lovely one going to sit in the garden later and enjoy the sun

Love Marg

[nsd_user663_4121]

Stevie..... keep going day by day.... same thing happened to me on day 10.... smoked one, threw the rest away and didn't look back..... you can do this!! And you will be so glad!

[nsd_user663_4232]

Stevie..... keep going day by day.... same thing happened to me on day 10.... smoked one, threw the rest away and didn't look back..... you can do this!! And you will be so glad!

thanks, nice to know i'm not the only who did this...it has only made me stronger though.

[nsd_user663_3822]

Hi Stevie,

Glad you feel better now,stay strong and beat this horrible addiction.

[nsd_user663_4264]

Never mind Stevie, I think we all sit and reason with ourselves about why it would be ok to have just the one and yeah, we'll quit for good on Monday. I've tried to stop so many times before and when I succumbed I felt like crap and so angry with myself.

Most people would have said "well, I've paid for them I may as well smoke them!"

Kudos to you for getting rid!

Stuart