As the title says ...1 month free - 32 days to be exact! woohooo!!
I feel so much better than i did 32 1/2 days ago , 32 1/2 days ago i was being controlled by nicotine and no matter what i done i would do it with nicotine at the forefront of my mind. I hated myself for this, it seemed almost everytime i lit up i done so with the thought in my mind that very soon i would quit and i would feel so much better. This was a way to allow me to "enjoy" :confused:that cigarette , i couldnt feel guilty about smoking that cigarette when very soon i would be giving up.
Very soon - always meant some other time as long as it wasnt at that precise moment ofcourse. This thought process went on for about 15 years dailly . I always wanted to give up smoking but it was always something that i would get round to another time, as long as it wasnt today!
Alas 32 1/2 days ago i had a moment of clarity , i had ran out of cigarettes , it was 6.00pm on a Friday night . I thought to myself i have a choice here its a choice ive had a million times before , i can go to the shops and get more cigarettes ( Winner ? ) or i could choose the scarey option... Not to smoke ( yikes) !!! Friday night ? not smoke? surely not!
I played a game with myself ...i chose not to smoke for 1 hour till 7 pm then i would go get Fags - i then done it for the next hour - 8pm - and again....it got to 9:30pm and i hadnt smoked for 3 1/2 hours , it was a Friday night im meant to be enjoying myself on a Friday!! I decided i wasnt enjoying my Friday night without my "dancing partner" so i went to bed!
Woke up on saturday morning and thought - wow - Lastnight i done something ive always wanted to do .... and it wasnt swim with dolphins or drive a Formula 1 car...it was more accessible than either of them. I was at this point determined to keep up the good work from the night before .
Its only been 32 days since that night but already i look back at that night with fondness, the night i done something for me ! We all know the benefits of health and wealth that come with not smoking but for me the real benefit is i like who i am now. I want to continue as someone who is in charge of themselves, im my own boss now , self employed so to speak .... i decide now if im going to smoke or not ...and now i think...will i smoke again? well i might , as long as it isnt today! its my choice now if i want to fall back into that Nicotine slave role i played so well or not.
Anyone thinking about giving up should try it...if you havent tried it and you dont like it....try it, you might like it? - my only regret is i wished i tried it sooner.