PLEASE PLEASE help .....

[nsd_user663_2680]

Please can anyone give me any advice i have been stopped smoking for 4 half months.And feel very proud of myself as i smoked for many years.Me and my partners son both went on champix so did my partners brother and sister in law.My partner smokes has done for many years roll ups and the old weed.Since i have packed up smoking i hate the smell and i hate him smoking both in the house when i say anything he says ive changed since packing up smoking im not the person i was since i packed up all i do is moan.Any way just lately my partner son has started smoking again and i just got a phone call to say me partner brother and his wife has started smoking again.Im the only one that is still not smoking but i have changed cause i dont smoke now BUT it is so tempting to start again cause of the situiation im in.And me and my partner are constantly falling out and not geting on and there is talk we go our seprate ways after being together 9 years.My god this is so hard all cause i packed up smoking!!!!

Any advice would be great xxx

Just to say before i stoped smoking i went to weight watchers and lost 5 stone and got to goal and since stoping smoking again i have put 2 stone on in 4months so that is geting me soooooo down but i have gone back to weight watchers.

SOOOOO SORRY for being so long any advice would be great as i feel like having a fag just to keep us together and me loose this weight xxx

[nsd_user663_2783]

Please can anyone give me any advice i have been stopped smoking for 4 half months.And feel very proud of myself as i smoked for many years.Me and my partners son both went on champix so did my partners brother and sister in law.My partner smokes has done for many years roll ups and the old weed.Since i have packed up smoking i hate the smell and i hate him smoking both in the house when i say anything he says ive changed since packing up smoking im not the person i was since i packed up all i do is moan.Any way just lately my partner son has started smoking again and i just got a phone call to say me partner brother and his wife has started smoking again.Im the only one that is still not smoking but i have changed cause i dont smoke now BUT it is so tempting to start again cause of the situiation im in.And me and my partner are constantly falling out and not geting on and there is talk we go our seprate ways after being together 9 years.My god this is so hard all cause i packed up smoking!!!!

Any advice would be great xxx

Just to say before i stoped smoking i went to weight watchers and lost 5 stone and got to goal and since stoping smoking again i have put 2 stone on in 4months so that is geting me soooooo down but i have gone back to weight watchers.

SOOOOO SORRY for being so long any advice would be great as i feel like having a fag just to keep us together and me loose this weight xxx

Hi Kay - I have just read your post and can associate with everything you are saying about your partner. My OH is the same although I let him smoke in the kitchen. If I find he has lit up elsewhere I do my nut and then he has a moan. The only advice I can give you is don't let them get you down so that you feel the need to start smoking again. I am determined to keep to my quit no matter what happens between me and my OH. If they love you they will support you. If you stay together it will be because you bothwant to be together not because of the smoking or non-smoking so please don't give up your quit. Sit down together when everything is calm and have a good talk about it.

At the moment I don't know where my relationship is going. All I do know is that whatever happens will happen anyway and not because of my quit, but no doubt that will get the blame. If not that, it will be something else.

I hope this has helped and I haven't said anything negative. I know what I mean and want to say but sometimes it doesn't come out that way when you type it.

Good luck Kay.

[austinlegro 11 Years Smoke Free]

Kay

Your family indeed may be correct in that you may have changed since your quit but it will clearly be for the better.

Your partner obviously smokes but didn't join your family group in quitting and your success will no doubt cause elements of conflict.

Your success has created an inbalance in the status quo and i'm sure your partner is blaming you directly for it. We were all smokers once and it's easy to forget how defensive we used to get about our addiction and how oblivious we were to the dangers.

What is clear is that you can't abandon your quit for the sake of harmony. It may be that the genie cannot be put back in the bottle and if you started smoking again you'd hold your partner responsible for destroying your quit and the relationship would still be compromised.

The clock only ever goes forward....

The only sensible way forward with this is by frank and honest communication between you and your partner. Indeed, I'm sure your partner feels threatened by your success and has naturally jumped into defense mode.

It is very brave of you to share this with us bunch of strangers and i doubt there is a member amongst us who wouldn't say whatever you do do not abandon your quit. It is one the most important things you can do in your life.

At 4 months on champix you're as free as a bird, don't find the reason to take it up again 'cos you may find you were much better off quit.

If you're both tolerant and honest you can find a way through this tangle.

Many of us have put on weight since stopping. It's not uncommon, it's not essential but it happens.

Personally my goal is about 8 months. I decided that up until then i was only going to worry about my quit. After that i was going to get back into my wardrobe. I didn't want to find myself thinking of smoking again as a method of keeping the weight off...

Good luck..

[nsd_user663_2743]

Kay, you sound really upset, it must be so hard for you, but you must not smoke again, it wont help your relationship, if your partner didnt want to quit then i think he may be jealous that you have beaten this addiction, and therefore everything gets blamed on it.

you both need to sit down and talk things through.

most of us have put weight on , deal with one thing at a time .

keep strong

[nsd_user663_2680]

Thanks

Thanks so much for your help thanks xx

[nsd_user663_2892]

Sorry you are having such a hard time Kay. Just don't let anyone else "make" you start smoking again.

My hubby/ son/ daughter are all still smoking. The only time we "have words" is when I start preaching so I really try never to discuss smoking with them - in fact I don't mention it at all, lips sealed, zipped

There are 3 people at work still smoking. One of them stopped with me, but caved. I never ever mention it to them, and they never acknowledge my achievement either, which is sad, cos if the boot were on the other foot I'd support them.

Anyway, today they were all stood outside having a fag, and I stopped for a chat on my way in.

The conversation went as follows;

Smoker 1 - "Ooooo.... trying to smell our smoke are you?"

Me - "EH? Actually NAW!!!"

Smoker 2 - "Do you still fancy a fag?"

Me - "No, it really doesn't bother me any more"

Smoker 3 - "Oh, see these reformed smokers!!!!!!!!"

Charming company I keep :rolleyes: I really feel as if I've offended them by stopping smoking!

[nickywalton]

hello kay,

been away only just picked up your thread - sooo sorry you're being pulled in so many directions - it must be a nightmare - agree with everything others have said - just add that you chose to quit for you and you must choose to stay quit for you...no-one who truly cares would encourage you to start smoking again - it would ultimately kill you and that's not what we want for the people we hold close to our hearts...

i really hope you find the strength to stay quit and can get peace with your partner...wishing you loads of luck...

nicky

[nsd_user663_2680]

Thanks

Thanks so much to you all for your kind replys.No i wont start again, i have come down the road to far to start again i would be silly to do that.But it is very very hard.I cant help not likeing the smell, and i get in trouble for that i do have to think of myself and my daughter.I am now takeing a day at a time today i am going to try and stick to weight watchers and eat healthy and ignore what other people say.My partner should be suportive to me but i dont get that from him may be he is jelous he stinks of a ash tray hehe.So today is a fresh start and im going to think of me and my daughter and if he hates that tough he knows what to do xxx thanks to you all i will keep you posted i have to start being strong and not being walked over like a door mat

thanks to u all xxxxx

[nsd_user663_3257]

Go girl...thats deffinately you sounding a heck of a lot more confident. You have done so well, it would be a huge shame if you started again.....you should be so proud. It sounds to me like you are the odd one out and there is jealousy there, thats their problem not yours.

Stay strong and a non doormat

ps How come you came off Champix early? Im on it and it makes me el so sick.

[nsd_user663_2680]

hi

hi he said he wasent ready to stop smoking he keeps saying he will do it in the summer so we will see.I think thats just a excuse to me.

The only reason why i came of champix sooner was i just felt i was ready as they made me feel so sick when i had to go on 2 a day.So i did for a while then i cut them down myself back to one a day then i weined myself of them.

I do feel a bit better now i have come of them but i still get short fused im sure why or what is causeing it?