Please help me!!

Hi everyone,

So I quit my horrible 20 a day habit 2.5 years ago, and the past three weeks I have managed to start casually smoking again.

After a drink, or in high stress.

I am going through a terribly stressful time & I am slowly falling into the trap.

How did this happen? Three months ago I hated being around smoke- now it's all I can think about.

I'm desperate to not become a smoker again, but I'm falling.

Please please help me!!

Laura! x

14 Replies

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  • Owww laura so sorry to read abt your suffering! Laura, you really need to calm down and straighten up your head. You will be a smoker again if you do not put a stop on it...not tomorrow... Has to be now. Anything I tell you is really useless, you know it all, you've gone through the quit for longer than I was able to. Just think of all the suffering you went through in the past to stop smoking and you're walking straight into it again. STOP NOW PLS! You can do this, you know the smokes won't make the problems go away... Sending you a hug, please stay strong, stop now.

  • Hi Laura

    So sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time but don't fool yourself that smoking will make it better, not after you've proved you can manage perfectly well without it.

    It's so easy to fall into the nicotine trap, even after abstaining for as long as you have. We all use stressful situations as an excuse for smoking and tell ourselves that if nothing else it will mask the pain and make things easier - it doesn't and you already know this because if you didn't you wouldn't have turned to the forum for help.

    You've come to the right place and just in time by the sound of it. You can easily stop yourself from smoking now if you really want to and it's clear that you do.

    To go for 2.5 years without smoking is a fantastic achievement so don't ruin it just because you're feeling vulnerable. You can cope without cigarettes and they won't help. You're already feeling bad because of them so in actual fact they're making matters worse.

    Come on here for help and support, there will always be someone to listen and help you.

    Just please don't smoke another cigarette. Whatever's going on in your life - good or bad - smoking won't improve things.

    Keep posting.

  • ps Just remember that stuff always happens to us in our lives and no matter how bad it is it WILL pass in its own good time. Smoking doesn't help or solve anything.

  • Laura

    Please take it from someone on day 3 of quit CT who has smoked for 18+ years...

    You gave up for a reason and that reason hasn't changed!Smoking won't make you feel any better at all,the one change I have noticed is that I feel less anxious than normal since I quit!

    I do however feel like I have a terrible sense of loss and like something is missing from my life...it is the weirdest feeling!!Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap again,throw the packet in the bin and find another way to deal with the stresses you are going through.

    Maybe the gym,walking/exercising,talking to a friend/family member or even having a glass of wine??

    But pleeeease don't see the stress you are under as an excuse to start smoking again,you really will regret it!

  • Laura, I started smoking again after a three year quit...and then carried on for the next 7 years. I so understand how this is happening to you, but you can and must nip it in the bud NOW.

    If you carry on, you will want to stop ..everyday. Will that ease your stress...no, I don't think so.

    I know this is easy for us to say, but you have done it in the past and and can do it again.

    You can.

    Don't beat yourself up though. Smoking is not a moral failure! Be kind to yourself and remember the times of stress in the last 2 years when you didn't smoke. You are a non smoker now!

    Take care xx

  • Hi Laurajayne.

    I'm sorry to hear that things are so tough for you at the moment. When you say you're going through "a terribly stressful time", have you experienced anything this bad before? The reason I ask is that if things are overwhelming you, then it might be a good idea to consider going to see your GP. I know from personal experience that extreme stress over an extended period can begin to affect your mental well being. In particular, it can undermine your will power, and at the same time reduce the amount of mental energy you have available. If this is happening to you, then it is going to make it much harder to summon sufficient internal resources to stop smoking again. Your GP may be able to give you something to help you cope at the moment - in the short term. This might help both with the stressful situation(s) you are in and with your quitting process.

    There is still a big taboo around the subject of mental health. Things are slowly changing, with well known people such as Stephen Fry talking about their difficulties (he has bi-polar). If you feel resistance to thinking about this then please know that it is much better to catch mental health issues early. The longer they remain untreated, the worse they get, and it then takes much longer to get back onto an even keel. There is no harm in going to your GP and chatting things over. GPs have a range of resources available to them to help people facing mental challenges. Things have advanced a lot in the last 20 or 30 years and you might be pleasantly surprised with what is now available!

    1 in 4 people will face a mental health issue sometime in their life. The vast majority of these are not the headline grabbing "psycho" or "schizophrenic" type conditions (these are relatively rare). Most are depressions of one kind or another or problems with anxiety.

    It's worth bearing in mind that since you have successfully quit before, you know how to do it and what will happen to you during the quitting process. This will make it easier for you to quit this time round.

    Good luck.

  • Thank you everyone.

    It's a terrible excuse saying I'm stressed. I am going through something that is so draining I'm losing all willpower. Another example not quite as drastic but I quit caffeine & I had a horrific headache for three solid days it was awful. But I quit and I didn't drink caffeine to get captured by the little bugs again. Then it started creeping back and now I just can't be bothered keeping up the fight. It's horrible.

    I have had a little pep talk! I'm going to find my first ever post on here when I was so desperate, I know this will help straighten my mind.

    I quit when I lost my grandma because she asked me to before she died. It was a powerful thing. Quitting smoking helped me feel empowered and at the time I felt like I could handle anything, and now I feel so defeated and weak.

    I won't smoke again. I've had my fall, it won't capture me again.

    Thank you for being so supportive. This is the only place I found comfort and support in the early days and it was the first place I thought to come back to when I was losing it.

    I will find my first post and share it with you, hopefully it is in the archives of this website somewhere.

    Have a lovely day everyone! Thank you for being so kind x

  • Owww that's so good to read. I wish you the best, you are right. It is ultimately your mind playing tricks on you, you can do this. Good luck and because you are going through this vulnerable phase, stay close to the forum, sometimes all it takes is a virtual hug!.... Stay strong!

  • Everyone on here is sooo helpful & supportive , gl I'm sure you'll win out :)

  • Thanks guys! Found my first post. I feel a lot better now.

    Much stronger today. I'm gonna keep popping back!

    Your a lovely bunch of people!

    Thank you xx

  • Hi Laurajayne ... Yup as always I am so far behind because I am living in a 3rd world that is always behind time (lol)..

    I read your post and was amazed how quickly the whole suffering can start again and wondered if there is a preventative action.... I don't know..??

    Then there is your yesterday's post and you are all positive and sparkling.. Thank you and please pop back to us and tell us more about the future dangers ....

  • Hi Laura Jayne I have no other advice to add but I am here to offer you support, have a massive ((((hug)))) from me and I hope u are feeling a bit better now and you've ditched the cigs xxx

  • The general rule is if you break a quit, don't make it a habit. There may be a temptation to think: 'I've screwed up now, so I may as well carry on.' This will only make it much harder to quit later. Once you realise what you are doing, try and get back on the horse soonest.

  • Oh wow LauraJayne, I just hate reading posts like this as it's a real struggle to offer any positive advice. I've been exactly where you are now, a few casual cigarettes after a solid, significant quit, and suddenly that rising feeling of panic that you've thrown it all away.

    The only advice I can offer is the truth - it's a very hard lesson to learn (it took me four years to get back to a quit), but the real truth is you blew your quit with your first 'casual' cigarette. Sadly, there is absolutely no such thing as a casual cigarette - I know it only too well, and I'm sure you do too.

    So where do you go from here? - back to day one, post daily, and cling to the forum for dear life. I just hope it doesn't take you as long as I did to take the plunge again.

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