I caved!!!

Sorry guys! I'm an idiot! I don't know what happened. Well I do. My plane was delayed on Friday night and my boyfriend wanted to go to the bar and drink to kill time. After a few drinks I got really fidgety and all I could think about was having a cigarette. I just couldn't have normal conversation because that thought had just taken over and I couldn't think of anything else. Eventually my boyfriend got fed up with me and said "For god's sake if you want a cigarette just go and have one!". So in my head it was like he gave me permission and off I went to have one! Except that it's not just one is it? After that I thought sod it and carried on smoking for the whole weekend away! Aaarrggghh, how stupid am I??????

Good news is that I've realised the error of my ways and I'm off them again now. First day back not smoking yesterday. So I guess I'm right back to day 2 now then!

I found it really hard to sleep last night. I really hope I don't have to go through a week of not sleeping like I did before!!!

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  • Sorry guys! I'm an idiot! I don't know what happened. Well I do. My plane was delayed on Friday night and my boyfriend wanted to go to the bar and drink to kill time. After a few drinks I got really fidgety and all I could think about was having a cigarette. I just couldn't have normal conversation because that thought had just taken over and I couldn't think of anything else. Eventually my boyfriend got fed up with me and said "For god's sake if you want a cigarette just go and have one!". So in my head it was like he gave me permission and off I went to have one! Except that it's not just one is it? After that I thought sod it and carried on smoking for the whole weekend away! Aaarrggghh, how stupid am I??????

    Good news is that I've realised the error of my ways and I'm off them again now. First day back not smoking yesterday. So I guess I'm right back to day 2 now then!

    I found it really hard to sleep last night. I really hope I don't have to go through a week of not sleeping like I did before!!!

    Poor you. I feel sorry for you and also understand why you smoked, I would have been the same.

    Well done for having the mentality to carry on where you left off!!!

  • You'll find very few people that didn't have a blip or two early on. Well done on picking yourself back up - that's the important thing. :)

  • Cheers guys!

    I think it happened because I didn't prepare for that situation. I had kept myself busy up to then but suddenly I found myself bored waiting for a delayed plane and my boyfriend wasn't even talking to me really. He was playing on his Nintendo thing, so I was really, really bored!!! Plus it was the first time I had drunk alcohol since giving up and alcohol was always a major trigger for me.

    People on here suggested before I went that I should write down the reasons for giving up and take the list with me for weak moments. Of course I didn't do it did I cause I was feeling fairly strong at the time! Idiot!

    I guess I'll just have to learn from this!

  • I only know that list thing works 'cos it took me about 7 attempts to remember to carry it around with me.

    Make sure you have a specific plan in place for that kind of situation now and you'll be fine (ie. I'll take a book to airports, I'll have nrt gum with me in the pub - whatever works for you)

    Was it a good weekend?

  • Well done for coming straight back to it :)

  • I only know that list thing works 'cos it took me about 7 attempts to remember to carry it around with me.

    Make sure you have a specific plan in place for that kind of situation now and you'll be fine (ie. I'll take a book to airports, I'll have nrt gum with me in the pub - whatever works for you)

    Was it a good weekend?

    Thanks hbav, you're so right! I just wasn't prepared at all! I probably should have gone to the airport newsagent and bought a magazine instead of buying cigarettes! The thought never occured to me though cause I had it set in my mind that I was going to have a cigarette by then! The list is definitely important to carry around! My boyfriend was hardly supportive either, telling me to just go and have one because I was annoying him with my fidgeting and moaning about not smoking.

    Yeah it was a great weekend although it was definitely a reminder as to why I don't want to smoke. I felt horrible stinking of smoke again and I was waking up with a sore throat in the mornings and coughing so much that my friends were actually quite concerned. Yuk!

  • well done for getting straight back on it - it is human to lapse.

    when you are a kid and you fall off your bike the key is to get straight back on otherwise you never do

    you have done that - keep going and this time you are armed with the memory of how horrible it was to smoke.

  • Hi Sonic. Never mind we all have our little slip ups but its the getting back to the quit that counts.

    I know that feeling when you cannot think of anything but smoking. It really does take over your every thought, so your not alone there.

    Best wishes xx

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