"Aaagh, caved and had a puff, but it was horrid" !

First off, not me, I'm doing fine. Sorry to scare lol

Its just this is something I've seen quite a lot of on these boards and it really intrigues me. Lots of people have caved after whatever length of time, and say something similar to the above... they only had one or two drags then chucked it, just had one or two full cigs in a day etc... but almost all always comment on how rank, disgusting, foul it was.

Now, for me, that couldnt be further from the truth. On ALL my previous quits, no matter how long (or short) that first 'cave' fag was bloomin' splendid lol! I exaggerate but, I never felt there were horrid. At this point in my quits I resigned myself to going back to it, so generally I suppose I was looking forward to it, maybe thats the difference. Yeah, they tasted a little worse than before, but not enough to convince me that "okay I caved, but it was so gross, i'll never go back to them!"

Probably what I'm trying to say is when people say the above sentence, to be honest, I dont quite believe them, based on my own experience of course!

Its just something I had noticed, drop your thoughts and comments peeps..

13 Replies

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  • Hi Supervillian

    For me the first few pulls leave a nasty taste in my mouth and a stinging sensation.

    I enjoyed the inhaling of the fag , but not the exhaling.

    So i would say "Aaagh, caved and had a puff, but it was horrid" .

    Barb x

  • Interesting opinion barb, funny how its different for everyone.

    Also, to clarify, when I say "Probably what I'm trying to say is when people say the above sentence, to be honest, I dont quite believe them, based on my own experience of course! i'm referring to the sentence directly above, not the thread title.

  • Also, to clarify, when I say "Probably what I'm trying to say is when people say the above sentence, to be honest, I dont quite believe them, based on my own experience of course! i'm referring to the sentence directly above, not the thread title.

    I`m so easily confused.lol.

    The sentence directly above "okay I caved, but it was so gross, i'll never go back to them!" for myself if i said that,it would be untrue, as i have thought at the time that it was gross, but then i started smoking again, so obviously not so gross as to not smoke again.

    Barb x

  • Supervillan

    Almost sh*t myself when i read this glad its not true your one of the strong ones. last year when i had my last quit when i slipped didnt enjoy it but didnt stop me going back to them. Mad I know.

  • It is horrid, it's the horrible aftertaste - makes you want to run and brush (no ....SCRUB!) your teeth - but how many times have I stopped and gone back to smoking too????

    Not this time though :D

  • Funny you should bring this up but I still remember the cigarette I had after a year quit and it was a very pleasant experience for me!! Strange though because I had no withdrawal pangs to relieve so enjoying it was purely psychological.

    A few weeks after that I had a couple more which DID taste minging but I pesisted and worked hard and after 8 years of torture I finally got myself up to 30 a day!! Go me!

    Since stopping this time I have not focused on how good just 'one' would taste, I know it would start the whole chain reaction again. I am a recovering nicotine addict and like a recovering alcoholic cannot allow myself 'just the one'. If they are that good then why have 'just the one'? Why deprive yourself a lifetime of pleasure? If you enjoy them then why stop?

    I wrote how I was feeling on a piece of paper as I consciously smoked my last cigarette and if I do get 'pangs' now I read the piece of paper and the feelings come straight back to me. I didn't enjoy it one bit.

  • very interesting thread

    I havent smoked now for 3 months and 24 days - the longest time ever in my life and, when good and bad are put on a scale... the good is heavier! That's why I very often think about that 'one' and keep always reminding myself why I should not even think about to 'try'...

    The one puff has, in my opinion, to do with the memory of the 'good times' of the addiction: I sometimes laugh now when I hear smokers say: "it's not that I want to quit and I can't. The problem is that I really like smoking, thats why it's difficult for me...compared to you" (hahahaha:rolleyes:). I also liked it when I smoked. The thing is I realized that it was the addiction that made me "like" to smoke: The addicted feels good when he/she gets his/her fix. He/she likes it when he/she gets his/her fix. That's all. That's why I dont want to be a smoker anymore.

    When we stop smoking, every now and then, we think about that 'one' that was super-tasty, anxiety reliefing, calming etc. Thats what I also did in my previous quit last year that lasted for 3 and a half weeks... I had one because "I have everything in control now" and 'one' would prove "that I cracked it" (how crazy is that?). Deep inside I now believe I liked it (thats why I smoked a few more and kept smoking about 5 a day for 5 months! because the addict finally had the fix she was deprived for 3 weeks). But, back then, in order to justify my addictive behaviour of wanting one, I said (to me and others): "it tastes awful, how the hell did I smoke 30 of these daily" etc. After all, no one starts smoking because of the great taste of it!!

    Addictions are very tricky, all of them humiliate humans (think about children in Latin America who sniff-inhale glue, petroleum etc. - unbelievable).

    Like WkdFairy79 said:

    If they are that good then why have 'just the one'? Why deprive yourself a lifetime of pleasure? If you enjoy them then why stop?

    The sooner we accept that we cannot 'have just one', the better we are in succeeding and become nicotine free people. I also agree with you supervillain that in some way people who say that, are not sincere. But, based on my experience, I believe they are not exactly liars...they just still believe that their resolution of not smoking is stronger than the addiction (like WkdFairy79 said: I am a recovering nicotine addict and like a recovering alcoholic cannot allow myself 'just the one').

    I did also not like the one I smoked but, like Linda said, it did not stop me to smoke some more... The taste is foul but the "feeling" of "welcome home" is great for the addict... Most people saying "Aaagh, caved and had a puff, but it was horrid" talk about the taste, not the feeling...Thats why they (we, me) smoke again.

    Sorry for the long post, keep going everyone, just think about already living a non-smokers life and not trying to "maybe be a non-smoker one day". This kind of thinking keeps me going! :)

  • Hi Salvet

    Well done on your quit I Started mine on the first of jan almost 4 months now. I agree with John Post more we miss you. Linda xxx

  • Great responses. Seems other have really thought about this too. It always intrigued me.

    And I concur with the rest Salvet, please stop by more often.

  • Hello all!

    I'm happy you liked that and thanks for the invitation to stop by more often:). It did really make me feel very welcome here! :)

    Regarding that "one" cigarette, read this. :

    Just one cigarette in childhood can lead to later addiction, says study

    guardian.co.uk/news/2006/ma...

    Just one is not only enough to hook you again but it's enough to get you hooked in the first place!!

    interesting (from the article):

    nicotine affects the brain's reward centres, which release chemicals to tell the body it is doing something enjoyable

    so, despite the awful taste, we smoke some more...that drug is really tricky and powerful...that's why even if we don't like it...we are in danger of doing it again...

  • And I concur with the rest Salvet, please stop by more often.

    I agree, you too Supervillain :D

  • I have to admit also that the times I have caved I did enjoy the fags :o Yeah they hurt my throat and yeah I also felt disappointed in myself, but upon smoking that first ciggie after abstaining for so long, I really enjoyed it...I was tormented no more. I was finally doing what I really wanted to do. Smoking. However, I just replaced my longing for a cigarette with another feeling; Despair. I know that kinda contradicts what I just said about enjoying the ciggie but the relief of finally smoking a ciggie did feel good. Then, after a while, I'd feel 'despair' at never being able to stop! Round and round...

  • A great reason~NOT to!

    I have stopped quite a lot and unfortunately restarted, and must say and truly mean it when I say that the first smoke is disgusting, it blows your head off, makes you feel sick, dizzy and wanting to brush your teeth and then leaves you wanting another, only after about 3 does it become normal again. And then you re-hooked, sitting there thinking "why did I bother having one again!?" :confused::eek::D

    I was around smokers all weekend. Every time they lit up it smelled wonderful:confused: In the beginning it smelled aweful but lately it has been smelling very tempting! I keep reminding myself of how hard it was to quit and how much healthier I am now. It keeps me from taking that fatal leap. I will say one thing though~the temptation goes as quick as it comes. We all need to be strong!!!

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