Don't even know if anyone can read this, its my first time on the site - I'm so confused at the moment, I feel like a schizophrenic having arguments with myself and this looked like a good place to write out my fustrations etc
I have been a non smoker since New Years Day - I am 33 and smoked since I was 16 - usually 15 a day as an average.
I have a son who is 2 years old and I don't want him to avoid running to me or refuse to hug me again because I stink of fags - as it breaks my heart.
I have to quit smoking, I know it does me so much harm and affects the people around me.
I have (and will continue to) go cold turkey - my goal is to reach the end of January and then I know all the physical withdrawel sytoms will be gone (won't they!!) and I can get on with beating the head games that I am having.
One minute I feel fine, the next I have the devil in my head telling me I am going to fail etc and get back to smoking "try it after the summer, imagine all the nice fags you can have in the beer garden with a nice cool pint of beer" is what I hear. It hits you like a bolt of electricity and I feel me whole body is fighting against an invisible force.
I will make it, I have to.
Good luck to anyone reading this who is quitting.
By the way, I have not slept properly for 3 days (having some cracking dreams though), I also feel like I have been punched in the forehead and that I am walking on cotton wool (its like vertigo).
Oh what fun it is to quit smoking.
On a positive side, realised the world has so many different smells - some nostalgic, some horrific, some just about incredible enough to make you forget all about how hard this is - I like my new super smelling power.
Its a bit like living life in HD (if that makes sense).
Sorry to whittle on all, just wanted to get some stuff off my chest as I am surrounded by non smokers who don't really understand what this is like.
When does it get easier????
Thanks for listening