I think I am going mad - Day 4

Don't even know if anyone can read this, its my first time on the site - I'm so confused at the moment, I feel like a schizophrenic having arguments with myself and this looked like a good place to write out my fustrations etc

I have been a non smoker since New Years Day - I am 33 and smoked since I was 16 - usually 15 a day as an average.

I have a son who is 2 years old and I don't want him to avoid running to me or refuse to hug me again because I stink of fags - as it breaks my heart.

I have to quit smoking, I know it does me so much harm and affects the people around me.

I have (and will continue to) go cold turkey - my goal is to reach the end of January and then I know all the physical withdrawel sytoms will be gone (won't they!!) and I can get on with beating the head games that I am having.

One minute I feel fine, the next I have the devil in my head telling me I am going to fail etc and get back to smoking "try it after the summer, imagine all the nice fags you can have in the beer garden with a nice cool pint of beer" is what I hear. It hits you like a bolt of electricity and I feel me whole body is fighting against an invisible force.

I will make it, I have to.

Good luck to anyone reading this who is quitting.

By the way, I have not slept properly for 3 days (having some cracking dreams though), I also feel like I have been punched in the forehead and that I am walking on cotton wool (its like vertigo).

Oh what fun it is to quit smoking.

On a positive side, realised the world has so many different smells - some nostalgic, some horrific, some just about incredible enough to make you forget all about how hard this is - I like my new super smelling power.

Its a bit like living life in HD (if that makes sense).

Sorry to whittle on all, just wanted to get some stuff off my chest as I am surrounded by non smokers who don't really understand what this is like.

When does it get easier????

Thanks for listening

x

11 Replies

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  • Hi Sutty welcome to the forum :)

  • Hi there, sutty1974,

    I am 33 and had been smoking practically 30 a day since the age of 17. Also on day 4 (well done! :)).

    I know that it's different for everybody, but I do find that the bolt-of-electricity type thoughts are getting weaker and weaker. I'm also gradually starting to sleep more regularly. The first night was awful, the second night was pretty bad, the third night positively better until the early morning (I woke up much earlier than usual). But I do see a positive pattern there. Maybe it'll take one or two days more for you, but hang in there, it will come.

    This is my first time quitting. Is it your first time too? I would also like to know people's experiences as to when it gets easier (after the first 2-3 days of physical nicotine withdrawal symptoms). When do the phychological cravings and associations stop? How can we help them to stop?

    I'm drinking loaads of water (on the loo every half an hour, but hey), and find it works really well.

    I also find that, when I have that kind of thought ("perhaps this isn't the best time, try it after the summer, etc."), if I laugh at myself for using such poor fool-fooling arguments, they do go away. Basically what it boils down to is Do you want to quit or don't you? If you do, there's no perfect time. There's always going to be some source of stress in your life that can make you delude yourself into thinking "better try it after the summer".

    The other thought that makes me stay strong is the idea of having to go through days 1, 2 and 3 EVER again. We're on day FOUR!! Yippee. It is true that whatever happens, it does get easier from now. If you were able to do day 1 and day 2, day 4 should be a piece of cake, and day 5 even better, and day 6... and day 7.. and so on. You can reach the end of January :). And then take it from there.

    Keep yourself busy and keep it up!

    xx

    Elenita

  • Hi there and welcome. Its day 4 for me too although i did 2 months back in sept. Not that it matters because i am still back to 4 days.

    Your doing really good and please stick with us. I am sure we can all do this if we support each other. Just think its nearly a week already.

  • When does it get easier????

    Soon! You're on day 4 which is fantastic, there's hardly any nicotine left in your body now and it does get easier after this point. You've nearly done a week - you star! Just keep focusing on the positives - like how lovely it is to give your boy a lovely big hug and know that you smell great.

    The psychological side is a b*tch - have no idea when it ends as am still having the odd moment nearly 4 months on. But (and like mine, it's a big but!) - it is NOTHING like those first few days.

    Once you've got that first week under your belt I reckon you'll feel much better. And this place is just a godsend for getting through it all.

  • Don't even know if anyone can read this, its my first time on the site - I'm so confused at the moment, I feel like a schizophrenic having arguments with myself and this looked like a good place to write out my fustrations etc

    I have been a non smoker since New Years Day - I am 33 and smoked since I was 16 - usually 15 a day as an average.

    I have a son who is 2 years old and I don't want him to avoid running to me or refuse to hug me again because I stink of fags - as it breaks my heart.

    I have to quit smoking, I know it does me so much harm and affects the people around me.

    I have (and will continue to) go cold turkey - my goal is to reach the end of January and then I know all the physical withdrawel sytoms will be gone (won't they!!) and I can get on with beating the head games that I am having.

    One minute I feel fine, the next I have the devil in my head telling me I am going to fail etc and get back to smoking "try it after the summer, imagine all the nice fags you can have in the beer garden with a nice cool pint of beer" is what I hear. It hits you like a bolt of electricity and I feel me whole body is fighting against an invisible force.

    I will make it, I have to.

    Good luck to anyone reading this who is quitting.

    By the way, I have not slept properly for 3 days (having some cracking dreams though), I also feel like I have been punched in the forehead and that I am walking on cotton wool (its like vertigo).

    Oh what fun it is to quit smoking.

    On a positive side, realised the world has so many different smells - some nostalgic, some horrific, some just about incredible enough to make you forget all about how hard this is - I like my new super smelling power.

    Its a bit like living life in HD (if that makes sense).

    Sorry to whittle on all, just wanted to get some stuff off my chest as I am surrounded by non smokers who don't really understand what this is like.

    When does it get easier????

    Thanks for listening

    x

    Great post! I am sharing loads of these experiences - living life in HD makes perfect sense, wish i could have thought of that description. I just feel completely wired and fidgety. Like i am on class As or something!! :eek:

    I am on day 4 too - have had two awful nights sleep and two good ones. Have had some horrible pains in my chest and am coughing up nice amounts of crap (sorry if too much info!). But my mrs is well pleased with me and i am very proud of myself. This is really hard.

    I am having those thoughts about what i might be missing out on - the things that are enhanced by having a fag e.g. a beer in the summer but look you can still enjoy a beer in the summer and it might just be that you have more summers to enjoy by stopping the smoking.

    The only thing a cigarette gives you is the desire to have another cigarette.

    All the best

    P

  • Great post! I am sharing loads of these experiences - living life in HD makes perfect sense, wish i could have thought of that description. I just feel completely wired and fidgety. Like i am on class As or something!! :eek:

    I am on day 4 too - have had two awful nights sleep and two good ones. Have had some horrible pains in my chest and am coughing up nice amounts of crap (sorry if too much info!). But my mrs is well pleased with me and i am very proud of myself. This is really hard.

    I am having those thoughts about what i might be missing out on - the things that are enhanced by having a fag e.g. a beer in the summer but look you can still enjoy a beer in the summer and it might just be that you have more summers to enjoy by stopping the smoking.

    The only thing a cigarette gives you is the desire to have another cigarette.

    All the best

    P

    That is sooooooooooooo true and something i keep reminding myself

  • Yep it’s a tough time, but it really does get a whole lot better. I have just passed the 3 week mark and it really has changed for me. That empty feeling of missing out is all but gone, plus I am now able to concentrate again. The smoking in the beer garden in summer is an addiction mirage. If you are honest with yourself you probably smoked when you were stressed, smoked when you were feeling sad and then you probably smoked when you were feeling really good and happy about stuff!!! So point to be made we smoked all the time for quite contradictory reasons. Our brains will make up any excuse to pickup the cigarette packet again (especially in the early days of quitting) because we are all addicts.

    The best advice I can give at this tough time is to really think about the positives, how much healthier you will be, I look forward to getting out on my windsurf board again in the summer and not getting so tired and wheezy. I also have a little one and when I look at him each morning I think, you don’t need a fag hanging out your mouth with a coffee each morning to feel normal…. Because unlike me he is normal!!!

    ~I wish you all the best and really stay strong….

  • Welcome Sutty x x x x

    I so hope that you continue to post here, that is an amazing post and explains well the experiences of the early days in a quit.

    There are positives notes and those are the ones to grab a hold of and focus on with all you have!!

    It does get easier after the first week, one day between days 3~5 (usualy day3) is very hard and it eases up from then. After week1 it is easier ~ Not easy still I can't promise that!!

    But here you are Not alone!! We are all quitters together.

    Even when you have been quit for a while and those around you have forgotten you quit, we'll still be here twittering on like a bunch of loons ;)

    Paul thats so good The only thing a cigarette gives you is the desire to have another cigarette.

    you should put that in your sig!

    Hang tight and stay strong x x

    We're here together x x

    My chest is tight, my good lung aches, I am coughing up stuff and my head is soo heavy!

    But I am positive and dread to think what I was doing to my body containing all this stuff inside!

    Sorry now I am rambling :rolleyes:

    ~Buffy x x

  • Hi Great post really enjoyed the read. I am on day 4 have smoked for 33 years up to 40 a day. Last year quit for 6 months bad family stress and I caved. All i can say is after the first week things will get much easyer and when you think of smoking after that its not nealy as bad as we are thinking now.(different kind of thinking if that makes sense) Linda xx

  • Some great posts I just read guys!

    I fully understand! I've been manic today and I'm a bit worried to see my chest infection's going from catching it xmas day because it helped put the idea of smoking in a bad light. Mind games!

    Day 5 on horizon

  • yp day 5 on the horizon, look at us!! :D chuffed to bits x x x

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