I have dinner with a friend of mine (Paul) who's a heavy smoker (more so than I ever was), once or twice a week.
He wants to go out to dinner tonight because it's hallowe'en and he wants to avoid the trick-or-treaters at home.
Tonight he wants to go to a restaurant that's a favorite of mine; it has seating out on the patio and you can smoke there.
I wasn't going to tell him I'd given it up until our usual Sat. night dinner together, but now I may have to, and I don't know what he'll say.
Another friend of mine, who quit smoking a long time ago, suggested that I just go and not say anything to him, and maybe he wouldn't even notice.
That's not a bad idea, except that I'm only on Day 2, and I'm not sure of myself being in a smoking environment, with a heavy smoker.
What do you all think?
Tish, my advice would be to really try and avoid any situations like the one above until later into your quit if poss. they can be such a temptation in the early days!!!
Can your friend not come round to yours instead? I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him why!
your gonna have to get used to it. You allready know what you are in for so it sometimes is easier to deal with the situations where you expect a challenge because you are prepared. I have always fallen back either when I did not expect it...or gave myself some rationalization why some event justified smoking.
Your firend should be supportive if he is a good friend
Hi Tish - I personally went on my first night out with friends as a non-smoker on the 7th day of my quit and I was pretty nervous all day long, even though hubby only smokes maybe once a week so I knew I could count on him for support anytime that night, and our friend's new girlfriend doesn't smoke so I wasn't going to go under a lot of stress after all. I wouldn't know about going to an outdoors restaurant with a heavy smoker on your second day, frankly Especially if you aren't going to tell him you quit :eek: BTW, why not tell him? I totally would! Telling literally everyone in sight was the first thing I did starting on the very first day of my quit, I found that it has made people a lot more supportive plus it has been really helpeing me to stay focused during the bad times as all I need to do is think omg how many people are going to just roll their eyes and watch me with this expression of pity on their faces if I fail
You go have fun but decide what it's best for you without forcing yourself in situations that might just be a little too tough so early in your quit
If you say nothing then it won't show if you give in.
I would avoid the situation right now but in a week it would be different, oh and I would say because I have quit smoking and it's too much right now x x
I hope you are doing ok.I am on day 29 now - can you beleive it? I can't.
Tish I probably am not the wisest person to advise you on your dinner date. Basically I believe its up to how well YOU will be able to cope with the situation.I do not have a problem with so******ing or alcohol . It doesn't make me want to smoke. Eat more?drink more? guilty as charged but no smoking!!!! However some people see stuff like wine,parties etc to be major triggers to smoke. If this is you maybe you should put this date off for a few dys bt if you reckon you can handle it then do it! Let us know what u decide.
Still giving it some thought. We've been friends several years, and I was going to tell him, just not until before our Sat. night "date."
Still debating telling him now, and asking if we could sit inside (or go someplace else entirely), or not say a word and tough it out, maybe get up and disappear periodically when he lights up while frantically snapping my rubberband and throwing lozenges into my mouth. What's he going to do, stare at me like I'm a nut case? He does that half the time anyway.
Michael, when I bring it up I'm going to look carefully for his reaction. This is a possibility.
This guy is something. He spent 21+ years in the Navy, at sea. Now he teaches at mathematics at one of the roughest high schools in Southern California, and is the one teacher in the school who can keep his classroom under control.
He quit smoking while in the Navy, started again when he started teaching. Considering some of the hair-raising stories he has to tell, I'm not surprised and I don't blame him. he is also quite overweight.
I don't want to wreck his evening, and I want to be able to post tomorrow in the Day 3 thread, without having to high-tail it back to the Day 1 thread. It's now or never. I think when Paul sees how serious I am, he will be supportive, and maybe he will join me.
Hi Tish and Welcome to the forum as I see you are new here!
I wish you luck on your dinner date and hope all goes well. You are strong enough to hold off the smoking as smoking will not bring anything better of the situation. It will make you very unhappy with yourself that you have failed. You will be just fine I know you will Paul will understand that you would like to sit inside because you are trying to better your health if he is real friend. Stay strong, keep your head up and enjoy your smoke free dinner
Hope you had a lovely smoke free evening. I know how hard it is my sisters are all very big smokers and a lot of my last quit stayed away from them a lot but we are a close family and i think this helped in my depresstion. so this time I am just going to see them as i would normaly dont know if this makes sense. Just it is us that has to stay strong. Linda xxxxx
I just typed up a great big long post about how I succeeded, and how great I felt, and how to tackle my future struggles, and blah blah blah, and damned if I didn't lose the post. For crap's sake.
I logged into this forum this morning, and apparently between then and now I got automatically logged out, and lost my post. I had to sign in AGAIN (it seems like every time I want to post!), but will not retype the whole thing.
I was thinkin about U last night before I went into my red wine induced coma..LOL I'm glad all went well. Did U ever tell him U quit & did U hang outside? I was over neighbors this morning and her & my other neighbor both were smoking on the back porch. It didn't even bother me at this point. What a great feeling! I am sooooooooooooooooooo done with it!:cool:
Day 32!
Not smoked for: 0Y 4W 3D 7H 56M not smoked: 313 Cigarettes. Saving me £ 84.59. I will now live longer by: 0Y 0W 1D 1H 4M. I Quit on the:. Monday, October 01, 2007 6:00:26 AM. Download This Quitmeter free from stayfagfree.com
It was totally fine believe it or not!! I havent had a good night sleep like that in I don't know how long:cool: I will have more tonight I think! Move over beer I think I'm a wino!
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Especially if you aren't going to tell him you quit :eek: BTW, why not tell him? I totally would! Telling literally everyone in sight was the first thing I did starting on the very first day of my quit, I found that it has made people a lot more supportive plus it has been really helpeing me to stay focused during the bad times as all I need to do is think omg how many people are going to just roll their eyes and watch me with this expression of pity on their faces if I fail 
Made it through the most stressful situation...
Unfair Situation
Day three is wrapping up and and I'm cautiously optimistic. ( But angry at the hub's.)
