Unfair Situation


My boss asked me to go outside with her while she had a fag today. She had some very important news she had to discuss with me and it couldn't possibly wait. My colleagues (both smokers & non-smokers were outraged). Followed her outside, and didn't even sneak a drag, discussed what she wanted then came back in. Strange thing was, I really wasn't that bothered and I thought my hair stunk of smoke when I came back in! V V proud of myself but think my boss is a bit peeved!!!

On the stinking thing, I picked up my husband from work yesterday and he had been standing next to a smoker and I could really smell it! Bizzare, didn't think that sort of reaction would happen so quickly!

Day 6 tomorrow!!

12 Replies

  • Not feeling so good now! V tearful and the world is against me.

  • Well done to you for not smoking. I don't think some smokers are at all aware of what they do when they smoke in front of us. Someone I know went out of my house but stood at the door and of course the smoke smell was coming right in, she is actually a nice person so I knew she had no idea the affect it was having on me. I hope this is the case with your boss if not she is just very unreasonable, could you tell her you will not go out with her when she is smoking?

    Good luck.


  • Such a mix of emotion the first week is.

    I think i'd be quite correct in letting you know that the world isn't against you, but your perception of events going on around you may be a bit skewed right now.

    Its easy to presume folk are being angry or argumentative towards you, i think many of us have probably been there.. and some are still getting some days like that too. In the main, it balances out quite a lot, and your perception of the world will no doubt change the longer you go into quitting too.

    No way to really explain it well enough except to tell you what i have really, sometimes you just have to stand back a bit from the situation, look at it more carefully and decide.. is it worth getting in a mood or upset over?

    It gets better than this by far though, thankfully these kind of days are not at all frequent later on.

  • I'm not entirely sure you CAN be forced to go outside to where they are smoking. I dunno for sure, but i think this will come under the employees rights rulings.. after all provision has been made for smokers outside, it does not mean that the non-smokers have to endure the smoke too though and should not be forced to either.

  • Yes, its amazing how people you have known for years now suddenly stink like an old ashtray and you have to hold your nose when your talking to them, lol.

    Not sure about being asked to go outside business, highly illegal if you ask me and any employment tribunal would find in your favour on that one, not that I condone going to tribunals for such trivial matters.

    Just explain to her that you would rather not go outside as your trying to give up smoking, and if that fails, can you goto her boss?



  • Hi Don :)

    Well done you not giving in when the boss wanted to talk to you on a fag break I think this is highly unfair of your boss to say the least

    Maybe she was really hoping to get you back to the fold so to speak arghhhhh people like that make me cross

    When i first quit my then boss started to offer me fags something that never happened whemn I smoked though

    Sorry you felt tearful and that the world was against you later but that feeling is normal this early in a quit



  • I work in a personnel dept, so know she can't make me i'm just not v good at standing up for myself! Hopefully it will just be a one off. Still struggling which is annoying me as the first few days weren't that bad! I'm hoping it is just worse because of pmt (sorry all those blokes out there!). I now have to rush to london this afternoon which is stressing me out about getting there in time. I'm feeling really weak so really trying to focus on having one won't get me there any quicker.

  • It won't and definitely never a solution to any problem.. would just add to the problem itself while making you think all is ok when its clearly not.

    Keep being stubborn, you just have to.

  • Thanks, didn't give in, got to London in time, sort of glad i didn't but feel a bit empty. Still start of week two tomorrow.

    Donna x

  • ahhh nice to hear that.. well done :)

    good luck for week 2 :)

  • Hi Donna

    So very sorry I missed this post But Im so proud of you bet your boss is a little upset she still smells like a dirty ash tray and you dont. HEHE Week two now hun you should start to find things a little easyer and also the PMT made a big differance in my early quit. Congrats your winning.xxxx

  • Thank you! I'm sure you probably already know but your messages of experience and positive thoughts really do help so much. People that have been there and done it, rather than people who are trying to help but don't really understand!

    Donna x :)

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