Failure

[nsd_user663_1695]

I failed. Too depressed, too easy for me to slip into that "i don't give a shit" attitude. I thought about not posting anything, just vanishing, but i feel compelled to. I could go into my depression, the reasons for it, and how it contributed to my failure, but i don't think it would help anyone here. Suffice to say when you quit smoking you eventually come around to the problems that caused you to start in the first place (assuming they are still there), be prepared for those. I made it 154 days (last Sunday) and hope I will give it another try some day, I don't want to be a smoker the rest of my life, however short that may be.

I hope i didn't bring anyone down with this post, plenty of people have quit and i'm sure we are all capable given enough motivation. You have all been great, very nice, supportive, and i thank you all for that, my biggest regret is to have let people down here and in real life.

[nsd_user663_1789]

Hey Jemi, don't worry about letting people down here, we're only here to support you.

After 5 months, smoking again must taste awful and make you feel quite sick.

Are you sure this isn't just a blip which you can put it down to experience and continue with your quit?

[nsd_user663_1704]

It was nice to read your post, I was feeling down as well and I appreciated where you said smoking would only make you feel much worse. It helped me put things into perspective for myself, Thanks!

Glad to hear you are getting along OK, I guess it is important to remeber however many *other* problems may come up, starting smoking again would only be yet ANOTHER problem to deal with

One of the guys at work today asked why he had not seen me "out back" (where we smoked on break), I explained that I was on day 33 of quitting and his reacation was "Oh, day 33, you have it licked no problem", so according to this dude, we will have no problems from here on out :rolleyes:

Heya Jemi x x x x

Just thought i would pull this out of the hat in some hope that you may put this down to a blip and brush your self off and try again x x x x x x

remember it takes 28 days to form a habit so you are by no means pulled right back in x x x ~Buffy x x x

[nsd_user663_2133]

Dear Jemi

You have done brilliantly well to get to 5 months - the desire to stay quit is still very strong. What I have learnt is that there is a brain washing going on saying you should only give up when it is not a very stressful period in your life. There is always going to be some form of stress in peoples lives - that's life and therefore if you can kick it when you feel you're most stressed then nothing will push you back into that rat run again. I agree with Buffy and Chocobunny - this does not mean you have plunge head first in again. You've tested the waters, and obviously not liked it much, so why not take yourself out again and find yourself and safe haven to help you through - come and see us here? As the others said just treat it as a blip - it happens.

I know a number of people who gave up for 6, 7 and 14 months respectively all are smoking again. if you ask them why - they wouldn't be able to tell you why it's just at that moment when temptation loomed their minds thought oh one wont hurt and that was it then. If you ask them do they regret starting again they all say yes and feel like they let an opportunity slip through their fingers.

You also know you can do this - you've done 5 months - 154 days an inspiration to us all.

Good luck Jemi - I really mean that.

Poppyfairyxx

[nsd_user663_2115]

154 days ? That's not failure

Jemi,

I once stopped for 2 years and then another time I stopped for 7 years. It helped that I was in the Army and mega fit - but the day after I left the Army, I decided to start again. Can you believe that I was that stoopid ?

The point is simply this: you decide whether you smoke or not. No-one else makes that decision for you. What has starting again achieved? Has it relieved your stress? Has it made you feel better? Has it made you happier? I very much doubt it. Don't get me wrong - I'm not being judgemental in any way (how could I be?!?) but I just wanted you to reflect for you.

Never give up giving up. I've "only" smoked for about 2 years since I started again - but I had to make a real conscious decision to restart as it tasted horrible and I really had to persevere. The impact to my chest has been awful (I currently have the lung capacity of a small woodland animal carrying two heavy bags of shopping!).

Incidentally, when I started smoking again, I thought that I had an excuse to. I had a grim motorbike crash that saw me in a coma for 95 days followed by 2 years in hospital/rehab learning to walk etc. I suffered (minor) brain damage and battled depression for a significant time (loads of "happy" drugs and SSRI etc) but I have learnt that smoking does nothing more than reduce my lung capacity and make me smell.

Like I said, I'm not being judgemental or derogatory in any way. I just wanted to provoke some inner thought for you.

You can treat this as a blip if you want to (even if it's a blip that lasted a week or more !!). It's as much of a blip as you want it to be.

154 days of not smoking is not spoilt by a day/week/month of smoking - if you stop again now ! It's as much of a habit as you want it to be.

Be strong. Take control. Beat it !!!!! Good luck - and no shortage of support from me !!

[nsd_user663_1704]

Wonderful Post Max x x x x x x x x

[nsd_user663_2115]

Thanks Buffy. It's all true. And there are so many people on this site that inspire me (yourself being at the forefront of that list) that I just want to help as many people as possible by whatever means possible..................

I'm in a dead strong mood today - and want to share my strength with anyone that's struggling !!

[nsd_user663_1704]

I feel your strength

Thanks

[nsd_user663_2142]

Jemi!!

WOW 154 Days! How absolutely wonderful for you! You know everyone can have a slip and get back on their horse again. Don't feel bad for letting us down because you haven't. We still believe that you are strong enough to pick up where you left off and continue the non-smoker habit. Don't give up hope because you have slipped. Take a deep breath and try again. If you feel that this is a slip that will take you a long while to come back and join us - we will be here when you return home to us and happy to help support you! Hope to see you here sooner than later!

[nsd_user663_2136]

what a mix of emotions comes from reading this thread.. I'm probably rambling but just wanted to say ...

at first I thought "OMG, after all that time, one is still vulnerable; how can we ever escape?" Then reading on, some great and inspiring words from you guys made me re-evaluate.

Maximus, your post hit home for a number of reasons too boring to go into here but, yes, I know where you're coming from, not exactly but more or less.

Hope you're still there Jemi, still reading and still with us..

[nsd_user663_2009]

hiya

i agree with max 100%!

please dont give up on yourself, you are not a loser so dont let it beat you! 5 months is something to be real proud of. everyone can have bleeps, giving up nicotene is one of the hardest if not the hardest thing most of us will ever do in our life so were allowed a few mistakes surely!

if you never give up giving up then you can only be a winner. good luck to you in whatever you decide to do from now, i really hope you will stay with us, or at least not leave it too long before you come and join us again. dont beat yourself up, you are only human like the rest of us. and for the 5 months you have done you are an inspiration to those of us that have not got that far yet. god bless you xxx