I'm a failure

Hi all - will be leaving the forum for a little while. As previously posted I was feeling really down. Things haven't changed and I stopped taking the Champix over a week ago. Yesterday I ended up at the doctors as I've been suffering from severe anxiety and depression (not sure that this is the result of Champix) but I was ok before I started taking it. The doctor has put me on anti-depressants and given me a sick note for two weeks. I'm sorry to say that I bought 10 cigarettes last night and smoked three. I feel very upset with myself and that I've let myself and my family down. If there is anyone out there who has had similar experiences on Champix could you let me know. All I know is that I don't want to be a smoker and I don't want to feel like this.

15 Replies

  • Sorry i have no real advice but i couldn't read your post without commenting.

    You are NOT a failure.

    I hope you feel better soon xxx

  • Not sure what to say in Support apart from get yourself better then get yourself back in here and give it another go

  • I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish right now - but you are absolutely, definitely not a failure. Quitting is really bloody hard - even wanting to do it is a massive step in the right direction. Most people take a lot of attempts to get there. I know how disappointed and angry with yourself you can feel when you smoke again but you have to see this as a learning experience, certainly not a failure. Ask yourself what it was that made you smoke again? How were you feeling at the time? Was there a particular situation/mood/person that you feel may have been the final straw? What can you do next time to get a different outcome? The more concrete you can make your coping strategy for next time the more likely you are to stick to it.

    It's a cliche but don't give up giving up. Choose another time when you're feeling a bit better about things and surround yourself with all the help you can get - this place, nrt if that's for you, your doctor, a smoking cessation clinic - whatever it takes.

    Hope you're feeling better soon.

  • You're not a failure. I've been feeling similar to how you feel - and yes, I'm taking Champix (after previously having tried Zyban and feeling utterly desolate and suicidal on it). My feelings of anxiety rise through the day, and thanks to waking up this morning and having no water due to frozen pipes, I'm very tempted to go and buy 10 cigs myself today. Will that make my pipes magically defrost? Nope, but I'm still fighting the urge to get into my car every minute.

    From the sounds of things, you don't want to smoke but you don't want to feel the way you do. You felt fine when you smoked, you don't feel fine now you don't smoke. It's easy to see how you can slip - and that's slip, not fail!

    I hope the doctor can help and you feel better about it all soon.

  • Hello cazbags - first off: no, you are not a failure. Just thought we ought to get that sorted out.

    Coming off Champix left me with a nasty depression too.. not too sure how I got through it actually.

    I'm sorry you're going through the mill right now but I think you're pretty determined to quit aren't you?

    So you'll come back here when you're ready and then you'll really whack the habit, right?! Right.:D

  • thanks everyone - I'm still determined to beat this, and I'm going to carry on trying to quit. I know I wouldn't have got to five weeks without the support of this site, so I'm not leaving it. Going to pick myself up with the help of the doctor and get back on the right track...... thanks to all. Everyone's support is very much appreciated and needed.

  • thanks everyone - I'm still determined to beat this, and I'm going to carry on trying to quit.

    Good for you caz. We've all been here before and this is the hardest step, to try and carry on quitting after a lapse. It certainly has been for me in the past. So you deciding to carry on quitting is a smart choice.

    Good luck!

  • Hiya! You're NOT a failure ;)

    Keep at it and you will succeed! Feel better soon :) Can't wait to have you back with us! Take Care.

  • now that was a really nice post Boudee, if that doesn't help her out or at the very least make her hand around and prepare for another quit I don't know what will


  • You're Not A Failure

    hi cazbags!

    don't look upon yourself as a failure cos you're not!!:) i've had depression before so i know what you're "likely" to be feeling like. everyones different though, when i first stoppped smoking i felt really down, shakey, tearful ect, but looking back now, i don't know if the champix were to blame? or comming of the nicotine,which caused withdrawl symptoms ect? and personally i think it "could" cause chemical imbalances or something in the brain what makes you feel like that? i'm not a doctor but thats just my thoughts on it:)

    don't give up ,and DON'T beat yourself up over it:) we're all here for you and you will triumph in the end! when the time is right for you!!

    hope you fell better soon!! and christmas cheers you up and makes you feel better.

    have a good one & take care!

    love poskit.x:)

  • All boudee says is true. we are all stresed around this time of year, did you know theres more domestic violence, and the miscarage rate gos up significantly. i know i lost a baby at this time of year. so dont think your a failure, it is so real the stress all for one day of the year. Stay with us and you will get there. we all will YESSSSSSS! As my hubby says about christmas, " dont worry there will be another one along next year" But hes a man, need i say more ? and he cracked at the works do and smoked, mr laid back ha!.

  • Thanks Boudee for your very kind words - reduced me to tears this morning. Quitting is so NOT easy and I applaud all of you on your quitting. I know I'm a stronger person than this and I will not give up giving up. I'm going to allow myself a little time to get better. I'm so not going back on the cigs in a big way. This has been my first serious quit, I've never done 5 weeks before, so I know I can do it. Going to get Christmas out of the way and go straight back to stopping again. I feel that this quit will make me stronger for the next one as I know what to expect now and know that each day does get a little easier. Smoking does not make me feel better. Heres wishing you all a brilliant smoke free christmas and I'm still going to hang around here for your support. :)

  • [ i know i lost a baby at this time of year.

    yeh, really sorry to hear about that!:( hope this will be a happy crimbo for you.

    best wishes.

    love poskit.x:)

  • Hey Cazbags your not the 1st and wont be the last to find it hard but im sure you will come back on board when your ready and make it further next time :)

    Merry xmas and a happy new year.

  • Cazbags,

    We are all here to look out and support each other though this....don't feel low and I look forward to chatting with you though the forums in the New Year.

    Take care have a relaxing Christmas/New Year and don't be hard on yourself!!

    we'll all be still here in 08 :)

    Kind rgds,


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