Well ain't i The failure?

Hello, I haven't been on here for a while but I have toatLly failed, I haven't really started smoking again but I do have the odd drag if my mates have one or when I'm out drinking..... I really dunno how to stop while I'm out. I'm letting my self down... Does anyone have any advise for me for when I am out with mates? I can't really ask them to stop smoking round me can I lol

Thank you x x

10 Replies

  • I'd be really careful with this. I stopped for a year once before and only started again because of this.

    Sitting in the pub with my mates, they were smoking. "Oh, gimme a draw of that" I said. Next week I was having one or two whole fags. Few weeks later I remember thinking this is great, being able to smoke during a night out. Next thing I knew, I was smoking on the Sunday and then full time again.

    Use the smoking ban to your advantage? Let your mates go for one while you stay in the bar and get an extra vodka out of the kitty?

  • Hi, first post for me! I had the exact same problem - so difficult when around your pals esp if most of them smoke. It's the main way I've failed in my attempts, in fact i think most people with a social life have the same prob!

    I found what really helps is counting the nights out with no cigs or drags of anothers cig. Build your confidence gradually - start with a quiet night down the pub, say a local night out, no frills. Try a couple of those, then work up to bigger nights out, parties etc. Keep a note every time you go out and don't smoke -remember each time you manage it, the next time is easier! I found nights out a living hell at first but I kept a little note on my phone - after about 5-6 nights ciggie free it gets much easier. Now I can go out and sit in a beer garden among my pals puffing away and I feel fine.

    Second thing - might not be the same for everyone - I find the craving peaks around 3-4 drinks (pints for me) - you'll notice this is when your mates light up the most. After that 3-4 drink mark it actually eases off alot, you'll hopefully be having a good time and not thinking about it as much - not that i'm tempting anyone to drink excessively, but lets face it, most nights out involve a few more than 4 drinks :D Oh, and don't be tempted to drink quicker to take the edge off as you'll end up a mess, i know i did the first few nights out!

    Anyway, best of luck - keep at it

  • The only advice I can give you Crazy Lady is that if you want to stay quit then don’t ask, stay in the pub or don’t go out for a few weeks until you feel comfortable round them while they are smoking, NOPE is the best motto I found NOT ONE PUFF EVER or you will be smoking full time again I promise, welcome to the forum and I hope you are able to keep focussed and not to smoke again.

    Sorry if that seems harsh but sometimes tough is the only way.

    As for Nicks comment

    " i think most people with a social life have the same prob"

    That’s inferring that people who don’t struggle have no social life!!! I had a great social life while I was smoking and still have the same social life since I quit, 18 + months and I always told myself I cannot have a drag of any ones cig or I will become a smoker again and I didn't want that to happen, in fact I find that some of my friends try harder not to smoke while round me like they don’t want to appear weak so that’s great they have respect for my quit and like one said I can smoke all the time, it want kill me to not smoke while you are around, we all sit outside so they can smoke if they want which has never bothered me as I feel quite chuffed that Mr Nicco Demon is not as strong as me, I wish you all the best and hope you don’t let the nicotine get the better of you, the forum will be a great help but there is and will always be only one person who can control your quit that’s you, we can only shout your praises when you don’t smoke.

  • Hi crazy lady, social smoking will lead you back into smoking all the time! as others have said!.......i broke quits this way too! . try the inhalator on nights out! it does work! and maybe just keep it for that! just an idea! then eventually you wont use it!.... hope it works out for you! your doing so well...why spoil it just for the heck of smoking on nights out! good luck:)

  • only thing that worked for me is not drinking for a couple months..then it was much easier to go out and have a few and resist the urge...if you want to make a change by quitting smoking all together then you have to be willing to change your habits a bit...change what you do and you may find it easier to not smoke.....

    not saying dont go out at all..just not for a while till you get some good solid quit time under your belt and if you are there and cant take it just leave early and build up to it...no shame in that..if its important to you that you quit then make a change!! all the best and good luck!

  • " i think most people with a social life have the same prob"

    That’s inferring that people who don’t struggle have no social life!!!

    Of course not. Notice i stated "most", not "all" people :) from my experience most ex-smokers do, in the early days, find it difficult not to succumb to temptation when out and about, it is the main reason both me and my friends have lapsed back on their quit attempts. But obviously it doesn't apply to everyone! I was not making any inference to people who have not had the same problem, if anything i'm quite envious! I don't struggle any longer luckily but i did find it hard work to begin with.

  • Hi Nick I am glad that you no longer find it a struggle to be out and about with your mates and not smoking, I hope that they are also finding it a lot easier, I think it does take some people longer to come to terms with the drink in one hand and the cig not being in the other type situation, one remedy is to have a drink in one hand and another drink in the other hand :eek: well you cant smoke then can you and you get drunk so fast you dont have time to remember you ever smoked ;)

    Well done to you all, one hour, one day one year its all the same, you are taking one very giant step you are choosing not to smoke :D

  • thanx guys.... i really dont understand why i keep giving in again... why is it some people tend to lapse if they are out with friends or stressed out :-/

  • why is it some people tend to lapse if they are out with friends or stressed out :-/

    because thats the toughest times to cope with

  • Hi Crazylady,

    I am sorry to hear you have problems with your quit.

    I just wanted to share with you that I firmly believe that positive attitude is the key component to staying quit. That would mean having fun with your friends while you have a night out. You cannot avoid them forever, you have to confront your smoking friends sooner or later. You just have to stop thinking about smoking around them. Pretend you are not noticing them smoking and start talking and discussing anything just to get your mind off smoking. Concentrate on your drink, your conversation or eat something to keep your mouth busy.

    The most important thing in my opinion is to enjoy being a non-smoker and celebrate that on every occasion. I failed in my previous attempts because I was thinking I was "giving up" smoking. Now this is the longest time I've managed to stay quit and it was all due to setting my mind on "gaining" instead of "losing".

    Hope this would help ;)


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